Sadness of Heart

“When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven…so the king asked me, ‘Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.’” Nehemiah 2:2.

Nehemiah had just been visited by some of his former friends of Jerusalem. This was his first report of the state of Jerusalem which had been attacked and set to fire. These men brought news of how broken their beautiful city of Jerusalem was, and how the survivals of the exile returned to a burned-out city. When the men departed, Nehemiah was heart-broken and distraught. He wanted things to be like they used to be before their city was besieged by the enemy. He wanted the days of yesteryear when there was joy and singing in the city. He wanted back the times where things seemed less chaotic…joyous laughter…more hope. Nehemiah did the same thing we must do when our beautiful past has been turned on its head. He wept…he mourned…he fasted…he prayed. His face reflected the sadness of heart that accompanied him.

I know that many of you today are experiencing the aftermath of your life being turned on its head. You never saw it coming…you didn’t plan for it…but parts of your lives have been attacked and now your heart is burned out. You try to put on a happy face but its more work than its worth some days. When we feel like our cities no longer boast beauty and joy, we must take our broken hearts and offer them to Jesus. While we look across the landscape of our lives and see brokenness, He sees a redesigned future. As we see disrepair He sees new building blocks for a new life. As we feel disillusioned He feels determined to carry us through our seasons.

We can never count future joy out, when we count the power of Jesus in.

Say it Again, Lord!

“Then God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light” Ge 1:3.

This morning I heard a beautiful song by Hillsong called Let There Be Light. I began thinking about the command that God spoke into the darkness at the beginning of time. As I thought about that phrase, the beginning of time, I realized that the light marked our world’s beginning, not God’s. God has always been, so He didn’t speak those words of forming the light until He had purposed the perfect time. He determined when light would penetrate the darkness setting in place the creation of the world.

This morning I continue to be heartbroken with the gut-wrenching confirmation hearings and all that surrounds it. It makes me scared for my husband, son and grandson that someone might speak into their lives lies or misperceptions forever changing their world. It makes me fearful that my daughters or granddaughters might have something happen to them that no one believes. The brutal treatment of the human soul for these people feels like we have relegated the world back to its original darkness. It feels like evil is attempting to undo everything good that God has set in place. But this morning, I am calling all of us to ask God to say those words again. We cannot allow darkness to suffocate light. We will call for the Creator to speak those life-giving words again making darkness run for cover. Lord, let there be light for those confirmation hearings and FBI investigations. Let there be light for the person sitting in the chemo chair as the darkness of cancer threatens their life. Let there be light for the husband and wife whose marriage has been fractured by darkness. Let there be light Lord for the person who suffers with addiction, and the children who have no voice. Let there be light for the lonely, the grieving, the abandoned and the wounded.

Say it again Lord, say it again! Our nation, our cities, our families and our churches need a revival of your Light. We need healing in every areas of our lives. We need to have the courage and boldness to stand up and call upon the Father of all nations. We need to find our own light to shine in a world where darkness doesn’t have to work very hard. Let there be light on our tongues, in our hearts, and in our service. Light began with one phrase from God, and we have the opportunity each day to carry His light through the day. We have this little light that we can choose to shine, instead of hiding it under the darkness.

Say it again Lord, say it again!

My Twelfth Man

In 2003, the Seahawks installed a giant flagpole in the south end zone of what is now Century Link Field and began a tradition of raising a giant flag…in honor of the fans.  On any given Sunday, the fans rush the stadium understanding the important role they have of support, encouragement and cheering the team on to a victory.  For me when I see that flag waving in the breeze I get a lump in my throat because it reminds me of my ‘twelfth man.’ 

This past weekend my twelfth man…my childhood girlfriends…rushed onto the island, raised that flag and man did we have quite a victory.  There were touchdowns and a few fumbles.  There were sacks and lots of huddles.  It was us against the other team…the challenges of life.  We each came with our stories of what happened…what is presently happening…what could possibly happen.  On that little porch we analyzed…we laughed…we even cried a little.  At one point on Saturday night one of my teammates belted out ‘He Lives’ and every person sang with such passion, knowing every word of that ageless song of Christ’s sacrifice.  We know that God placed us together then and He moved us back together now.  It is quite possible that it will be another full year before everyone can get together again.  But the flag remains waving…the support and encouragement is only a group text away…the game still goes on.

God surrounds each of us with a twelfth man…that person or people who walk with us through life in addition to our wonderful families.  A twelfth man doesn’t walk away because of politics, religion or social status.  A twelfth man waves its flag proudly and with loyalty. It remains standing through the sun, rain, wind and storms of life...even the tough losses.  If you feel you haven’t identified your twelfth man say a prayer to God.  He handpicks people for us at different points in our lives and fills our stadium with these blessings. 

So, I will bring my sentimental words about a sentimental weekend to a close.  But thankfully one of us created our own flag and brought it this weekend.  What a flag to fly!

Hanging Our Harps

“By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion. There on the poplars we hung our harps.” Psalm 137:2

King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon and his armies attacked Jerusalem and kidnapped most of its brightest and best people from all age groups. They were forced to live under the command of an environment who didn’t represent God. They went from free worshippers to oppressed slaves. This particular verse was most likely written by a Levite who used these musical instruments in their temple service while worshipping God. This psalm no doubt was written by a person with a broken heart and a depleted spirit. As the author considers the joy of his past he mourns the circumstances of his present life. He longs for what he had and cannot muster up any hope to even play a soothing song. His powerful image of hanging the harps in the trees because of his great sorrow reminds me of yesterday.

I purposely did not watch one second of the hearings…it just would be too sad. I too consider our America of the past and long for those kinder days. I feel like God's people have been taken captive. Our songs of America that use to resonate proudly and purposefully has been quietened for now. I have noticed that I don’t sing my praises of America as proudly as I used to, but I do still sing my praises to the God upon whom this country was founded. I find myself this morning sitting by the river disillusioned and disgusted by the circumstances of what is occurring. It’s easy to hang our harps on the poplars and feel hopeless, but just as our author knew deep in his heart…this is not our home and we are not residents of this place but of a better place…a perfect place.

We belong to a future city where no one can take away our music and our worship. We must place our eyes on Jesus who knows each truth and each lie. We must sit under the authority of God and take our eyes off those who don’t sit under God’s authority but act on their own preferences. We cannot hang up our harps at a time when the music is so crucial. We must continue to sing of truth…God’s truth. We must continue to believe that we will not be slaves to the world forever. So let us sing of what’s important and trust God for the process of turning America’s heart back to Him.

In the Deep and Dark Waters

“For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1 Sam 16:7

Yesterday as I was walking across the Folly River Bridge I was reminded of a re-nourishment project. This project was approved as a response to major beach erosion after Hurricane Matthew and Tropical Storm Irma flattened the dunes and changed the landscape of the beautiful shore. These unattractive vessels are doing incredible work by carrying sand from the bottom of the river through underwater pipes and pumping it out onto the eroded beach. It is quality sand, but the vessels must go deep to bring it to the surface reshaping, restoring and re-nourishing the shoreline. All the important and necessary work is being done in the dark and deep waters.

Our hearts are no different as God uses different vessels to dig deep in our attitudes and experiences. He knows what has laid in the dark parts of our hearts undisturbed and unseen for decades. He sees our eroded lives and begins the re-nourishment project by stirring up our lives through challenges. He takes our beautiful qualities that have been forgotten and carries them through our adversity bringing them back to the surface. He uses the 'Holy Spirit pipeline' to pump beauty back to our shorelines. When our souls emerge from the dark deep night our future horizons will burst forth like a beautiful sunrise.

Everything will make more sense once we are re-nourished, restored and reshaped. We must trust the process as we are being carried through the pipeline. At the end of the the re-nourishment project you will see more than the darkness that has accompanied you...you will see the glory of the Lord and your shoreline will offer new beauties to behold.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

“Then the king prepared a large banquet…it was actually Esther’s banquet.” Esther 2:18

I just adore the story of Esther and how she rose to royalty. The interesting point about her life is that she rose to a royal position which she already possessed. She was a Jewish child, steeped in Jewish tradition no doubt. I am confident that her parents would have started out her life telling her that God adored her and that He was her God, and she was His child. But one day, a traumatic event happened, her parents died, and she forgot who she was. Being raised by her uncle, her circumstances unfolded that positioned her in the king’s castle preparing for a beauty pageant. She was being prepared and prepped to vie for the crown. I can’t help but wonder how uncomfortable this little young teen would have been trying to see herself as a queen when she had always felt like an orphan. Even with the beauty treatments they gave her, who stared back at her when she looked in the mirror?

I am wondering this morning that very same question when you look in the mirror and when I look in the mirror. Who do we see and does it match who God sees? There have been times as an adult when I saw the face of ‘not enough’ staring back at me. No matter what ‘beauty treatments’ I tried…those empty pursuits of someone’s approval…I still didn’t see myself as a God-chosen daughter of a royal King. But then God prepared a banquet for me…a party of two…where He showed me who I was. Together my mask fell, my heart received love and I remembered who I was. Who I am is the same person you are…a member of His royal family with a head worthy of His crowns…a victor of circumstances instead of a victim of circumstances. This knowledge, belief and daily pursuit is a gamechanger for me. Seeking His face daily, meditating on His words and sharing intimate time with Him helps me recall who I am in Him.

Don’t try to reclaim the position you already possess. You are not an orphan…you are not a reject…you are not a person without a country. Walk out your God-created destiny and remember who He says you are.

Just One Touch

"Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe. Then Jesus said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and look at My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Stop doubting and believe.’” John 20:28

This scene…this story…this Savior. As we peer in to this group of mourners we must remember that they had previously experienced the death of their teacher…their mentor…their friend. They had imagined that He would be with them for the rest of their lives. But their self-made family now sat there without their leader…Jesus had formed this little family and now it lay in shambles. Suddenly a few of them entered with the unbelievable news that Jesus was brought back to life and still lived. Thomas couldn’t stand his heart to be ripped open again, so he marked his claim that unless he could touch the scars of the nails he wouldn’t believe. And eight days later as the group was locked behind their door Jesus appeared and opened His arms to invite Thomas to touch the scar.

Christ is still opening His arms inviting us to touch the scar. We come to Him covered with our own scars wondering if we can ever be healed. We bring our wounds to Him not fully believing that He can resurrect our own dead things in our lives. Is your scar a past decision that left you with regrets? Is your scar the death of a loved one you just can seem to accept? Is your scar a broken relationship…a prodigal child…a shattered heart? Jesus knew that with just one touch Thomas would believe. Jesus knows that with just one touch our hearts can be healed, ministries will be born, marriages can be reconciled. With just one touch we can believe that God can bring justice where injustice seems to triumph. With just one touch we can believe that the impossible is possible and what feels permanent is only temporal.

There is beautiful song that reminds me of how powerful one touch can be when our scars meet the scars of our Savior. Because of His scars we are healed and have the promise of a perfect heaven in place of our imperfect world. I pray you will include this song today as you meditate on the Lord.

“Here at the end of me
You are my victory
I'm trading my scars
For all that You are
For just one touch” Just One Touch, Kim Walker-Smith

https://youtu.be/jnhV7w5S2pk