Connecting the Dots

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.” Jer 17:9

When I was a little girl we lived on a street where there had not been many houses built. I was always excited to see a home being built because it meant that at some point a family would move in and I could meet them. On one occasion I remember putting some saltine crackers on a plate and walking to their house when I saw the moving truck being unloaded. I distinctly remember thinking that there may be children, and if I brought something to them they may want to play with me. What was my heart telling me as early as five years old?

I am not worthy enough on my own. I need to give in order to receive. I cannot be accepted, approved and liked unless I am willing to give something. Somewhere along the line in my early childhood I connected the dots that performance and deeds guaranteed love and acceptance. So why is it any wonder that this lie of my heart translates to my relationship with God? I was constantly conducting a performance driven appraisal regarding my relationship with God. I would measure God's love for me to how well I had performed for Him that hour, day, week or month. My heart was sick and without cure on my own. But God did major heart surgery within the past year. He didn’t fix my heart but He gave me a new one just like He promised. ‘I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you…And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow…’ Ez. 36:26-27.

I know that God is exposing the lies of my heart to set me free and receive the free love He has to offer. ‘He never uncovers an area without having a gracious plan to do something about it. He does not expose for exposure’s sake alone. God’s intent for uncovering any areas where we need some help and healing will always be for applying the medicine of who He is to that place.’ Duty or Delight? Knowing Where You Stand With God, p. 68.

We all will struggle relationally with God as a direct result of needs not met in earthly relationships or incorrect self-taught beliefs as in my case. We must be open to tear down those walls of lies within our heart and come to Him with the only thing He ever really wanted – our love alone.

The phrase ‘Just As I Am’ brings a whole new meaning to me this morning!