When God Tarries...

“When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.” John 11:20.

Those words seem to send a haunting chill up my spine in conviction this morning. When my daughter was deep in her drug use, I got to the point where I surrendered hope instead of fear…in short, I spiritually stayed at home. Paralyzed in fear and grief I no longer ran out to meet Jesus but stayed behind much like Mary. Mary’s conspicuous absence on the road to meet Jesus was most likely met with hopeless grief much like mine. What was the use? Her brother was dead – Jesus had not come. This was the same Mary who had previously worshipped Jesus with reckless abandon. She withheld nothing from Him over the course of their relationship. But, at this moment, in her grief, she offered no perfume to pour on the feet of Jesus. At that moment, her little body, despaired and distraught, was not going to kneel at His feet. Her response is more like our tendency when we feel God is not showing up in our circumstances. He is not arriving fast enough, strong enough, powerful enough…

‘What are we to do when God doesn’t behave the way we thought He should, the way we were taught He would? What are we to feel when our Savior seemingly pulls a no-show, leaving us to wrestle on our own? These difficult times – these dark nights of the soul – rattle our convictions and shake the foundation of our faith.’ Brian Jones, Second Guessing God.

We stay at home and determine our circumstances are permanent. We see all resolutions as dead, stretched out on the bed with no pulse. We call in the mourners to see the dead body. There is no reason to run to Jesus for He has tarried and death has come. What are we to do with that? Why does our wait feel like abandonment, as if we are stuck on top of a ferris wheel with our feet dangling in the air?

When our challenging situations leave us suspended between faith and doubt, all that is left is surrender and trust in His way and His timing. As Jesus told His disciples, ‘For your sake I am glad I was not there…so that you may believe.’ John 11:15. When our heads tell us that God is not in our suffering, our faith can show us that He really is through our belief. When we surrender our hurts, pain and fears instead of surrendering hope we go out to meet Jesus instead of staying at home. We live our lives with certainty that what is dead God calls to life, whether it is earthly or spiritual. There is no death in Christ but only life, whether here on earth or up in Heaven.

While God may tarry, His love never will.