In My Haste

“...the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the LORD has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me?" Ruth 1:20-21.

If we are all honest with ourselves Naomi expresses in words what our hearts sometimes express in feelings.  When we really believe that God is who He says He is it comes with an awareness that God has the power to prevent, change, and alter all circumstances.  Because of this reality, sometimes the greater our faith the harder the fall.  We are well aware that God has the power to save...the wisdom to act...the capacity to prevent.  And yet, sometimes He doesn’t and that just leaves us bitter.  Grief in whatever form searches for a perpetrator and many times points its finger at God.

Blame and hurt is part of loss and it cannot be reconciled and settled by the Holy Spirit until it is taken to God.  He knows our hearts anyway so we might as well share our honesty, but we must allow our emotions to be a temporary detour and not a destination.  When we lose something important we can have complete faith that God is continuously working in our situations.  God will work through our emotions to heal, restore and move us into a healthier walk if we will allow Him space in our hearts.  We will never understand how God works because His thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours.  When we can’t trust His plan we can trust His heart in all situations.  He sent me a beautiful message when my sister was taken from us.  He gently and lovingly answered that our loss was her heavenly gain and He was ready to give her everything.  It was a wonderful gift for God to take my grief and shift my focus from me to her.  Grief shines its light on the one who loses, not the one who gains.  I can relate to the Psalmist in chapter 31:22.

“In my haste I said, ‘I am cut off from your sight!’  Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.”  Even Naomi’s heart was transformed as written in Ruth 2:20, “He has not stopped showing his kindness to the living and the dead.”

Those are the beautiful words of a healing heart on a journey that all leads to Heaven.