Defined or Refined?

“‘Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara,’ she answered, ‘for the Almighty has made me very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the LORD has opposed me, and the Almighty afflicted me?’” Ruth 1:20-21

Where on earth do we begin with this passage? How on earth did Naomi get to point where her circumstances defined her resulting in a name change? How did a woman of faith in Bethlehem find herself as a woman of hopelessness and bitterness in Moab? Her name change defined the journey of her heart. Naomi meant ‘pleasant’ and Mara meant ‘bitter.’ We know that her family moved away from the land of God because of a famine. We know that for a decade she and her family lived in the forbidden city of Moab where life was abundant. Then tragedy struck her family, and in her abundant life came another famine…the famine of her heart. Death came and not only stole her family members but stole her entire identity. She became defined by her circumstances…she invited us to call her Mara.

In certain seasons of my own life, I have allowed myself to be defined by my circumstances. My name changes have come in times where I felt like a failure as a mother. There have been times in my marriage when I felt like a failure. I have looked towards the circumstances of others and have felt the ugliness of bitterness. When we are operating out of any lack our perspective on everything else changes. We measure life against our losses instead of our gains. We count the days of our lack instead of recognizing the days of our blessings. We secretly hold in our hearts the knowledge that God could have…should have…but didn’t. We gradually distance ourselves from God, moving into a new territory that isn’t beneficial. The further we move away from God the less gratitude we will feel. Our identity in Christ will move from victorious to victim, joy to bitterness, and one day we openly call ourselves ‘Mara.’

When we can allow our circumstances and heartbreaks to refine us instead of defining us, God will fully heal the heart. When we walk out life with an eternal perspective, we arm ourselves against getting stuck in our bitterness. This life is temporal and so is the pain that accompanies it. God is the anchor of hope that there is a better life up ahead, a life free from sickness, sadness and sin. We all must make that journey, but prayerfully our tough times can make us instead of breaking us. ‘It’s about letting the hard things make us strong. As we get rid of bitterness day by day, moment by moment, we will stack these refining days – the days we didn’t quit - and one day look back and realize we, too, are wearing the title: I finished strong.’ A Woman Who Doesn’t Quit, Nicki Koziarz, p. 55.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into His image with intensifying glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Co 3:19