Leaving the Winepress

“The angel of the LORD came and sat down under the oak where…Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites.  The LORD's angel appeared to him there and said, ‘The LORD is with you, brave and mighty man!’" Judges 6:11-12

I love this scene in the Biblical account of Gideon, who was a timid and scared man expecting the worst.  His region had been invaded and attacked many times by the Midianites and he knew it was just a matter of time before they wreaked havoc again.  His goal was to go unnoticed…undetected…undercover so he did his mundane work in a winepress which was in a shadowy part of a rock hidden among the oaks.  God knew right where to find this terrified man and appeared to him identifying Gideon to be the opposite of what his actions displayed.  God called him a brave and mighty man when in reality, he stood before God a frightened and timid individual. 

I’m wondering this morning who is like Gideon hiding in the winepress frightened of the future, just trying to hide among the rock?  I’m wondering about the person who has seen the face of the same enemy multiple times awaiting the next assault.  Perhaps the enemy is the self-talk they say to themselves.  Who has a heart wanting to go unnoticed, undetected and isolated?  If it is you, then be prepared to come face to face with the Angel of the Lord.  If it is you, then understand that your crisis cannot take you to a place where God’s presence and grace can’t find you.  And when He meets you at that place, He will describe you in words you feel unworthy to receive.  He will call you forgiving…He will call you courageous…He will call you purposeful...He will call you ultimately victorious.  Because just like Gideon, God calls us according to the potential He sees in us.  One of my greatest and happiest pursuits was being a mother.  So, when my children were grown and on their own I began to feel useless.  I began to stay at home more, being more isolated with feelings of increasing uselessness .  But, when God met me in my winepress He called me a writer when I saw myself as an out of work mom.  He took the testimonies of the adversities in my life and birthed the calling He had upon my life.  “There is always calling out of chaos and commissioning out of calamity.  And our crisis is sometimes exactly what we need to be prepared and at the right place and right time to do what God has called us to do.” The Faithful – Gideon, Priscilla Shirer, video highlight.

God is in the place of your toughest challenge and your most painful circumstances.  He is calling you to see yourself through His eyes…brave…equipped…victorious.  So come out of the winepress and take hold of the future God has for your life.

A Child at Home

“While I am here I will be a child at home with my God; the whole world shall be his house to me; and when I ascend into the upper chamber, I shall not change my company, nor even change the house; I shall only go to dwell in the upper story of the house of the Lord forever.” C. H. Spurgeon

This morning in my time with the Lord He allowed such a precious mental visit to my childhood and my wonderful West Manor home in Lancaster.  I can get lost in my memories of that time… that place…that home…it’s representation…it’s complete joy.  It was a beautiful home, one of love, laughter, faith and family not to mention it’s architectural beauty.  It was a two-story Georgian home with four white columns that had an upper balcony as if the home was wearing a beautiful pendant.  It was a joy to have my friends over as we roamed the 5 ½ acres and played in my upstairs bedroom with a white canopy poster bed adorned with wispy pink bedding.  At the end of the day when I ascended those stairs and walked into my bedroom, there was a complete sense of safety, contention and completeness.  Some nights one of my sisters would want to sleep with me and other nights I would ask them.  Sometimes I would hear a tap on the door and it was either Mother or Daddy coming to sit with me and talk.  It was my happy place and a place where I have gone in my mind many times over the course of my life.  When I read Spurgeon’s quote this morning about dying and going to heaven being like going upstairs I immediately thought of my bedroom.  Life below in the main house was good with all the excitement and laughter of our family but going upstairs to my room was heaven because it was all mine.  It was fashioned and decorated just for me and no else had to live there. 

This is how I picture heaven when Jesus spoke in John 14:1-2.  I can hear Him encouraging us that we don’t have to be troubled when life is heart-breaking.  He is already upstairs preparing our rooms for us.  And when it is our day to ascend upstairs to our perfectly fashioned and designed room He would have thought of everything.  It will be a beautiful mansion with innumerable bedrooms where we will move about and throughtout freely living and loving with our loved ones.  I can already hear the tap on the door as Daddy wishes to come and sit with me.  I can already hear Beth trying to talk me in to letting her sleep with me promising and pleading she won’t sleepwalk again.  Those are my limited childlike dreams of what heaven will be like.  But for now, I am just downstairs on this earth trying to get along with the world’s family and roaming around the acres with my friends and intimate family.  For now, I am a child at home with God seeing His veiled glory, but someday I will see Him face to face in the city I will call home… Heaven.

Pocketful of Stones

“The teachers of the law…brought in a woman caught… ‘Now what do you say?’  But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger…” John 8:5b

I am sure the story of Jesus and the adulterous woman is one you have heard at some point in your life.  If not, it is certainly worth reading and meditating upon its principle.  The teachers of the Jewish law had brought a woman accused of adultery before Jesus, demanding that He condemn her.  The punishment for this crime was stoning to death.  Jesus, in His compassion and wisdom encouraged the teachers to throw the first stone if they were sinless.  One by one they dropped their stone and walked away until only Jesus and the woman remained.  He told her that just as no one condemned her, neither did He.  He instructed her to go and leave her life of sin.  Jesus states that He didn’t come to the world to condemn but rather to save. 

Yesterday, I was one of the people throwing a stone at another woman.  I was walking out of Costco and I noticed that a woman emptied her cart into the back of her car, pushed the cart behind the car next to her and was ready to pull out.  I not only glanced at the cart once but took a second look over my shoulder to ensure she saw my displeasure.  At that point, she rolled her window down and in a pleading tone explained that the person in the car waiting on her spot offered to take her cart.  I was completely humbled and disgusted with myself for casting that stone.  When I got in my car I was immediately convicted by the Holy Spirit.  As my spirit of condemnation turned into conviction I felt empty and embarrassed just like those teachers must have felt and they dropped their stone and walked away. 

We live in an accusing culture, one that writes a license for each one of us to judge and condemn others.  If Jesus didn’t come to condemn, why on earth do we feel we can?  Just as Jesus wrote in the dust on the ground a few thousand years ago, the sting of casting that stone was written on my heart.  The actions of others are between them and God.  Every one of us are sinners, and we will be until we trade in this life for the gift of Heaven.  We must empty our pockets of stones and look to our own tendencies of sin before we point out others.  I am thankful for the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and I am so grateful for the gift of grace and forgiveness.  May we all have a pocketful of Christ stones to share rather than those to throw.

Following Glory

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” Matthew 4:19

Last night Bruce and I went to our grandson Carson’s football game to watch them advance in the playoffs. It was a great game and a beautiful night for the win that they obtained. I love watching those young boys working together and pursuing a common goal. At one point the quarterback hurled the football down the field and a runner took off. He ran vigorously toward the endzone, and when he turned around he discovered the ball was coming right to him. With his arms open wide and his eyes keenly focused he received the catch and made the score. He chased after the touchdown before he even knew the throw was coming to him. Had he lagged behind he would never have been in position to be victorious.

This morning in my study time I discovered the Hebrew translation for ‘follow’ is to pursue, to chase after and to attend closely. ‘Follow me’ were the words Jesus said upon each introduction to his disciples. He wasn’t asking them to lag behind in a slow pace or a mediocre fashion. He was exhorting them to pursue Him…to chase after him…to attend closely to His words and actions. Jesus understood that the only way His disciples could be ready to draw people to God was for them to first be drawn to Him. The same is no different today as Jesus calls us to follow Him…to chase after the truths of God…to attend to His people closely. He never calls us to lag behind Him, but rather to chase after Him as He pursues good on our behalf and the behalf of others.

Once we have chased after His plans and discovered His ways we can run vigorously down the field with confidence. We can know that when He throws His blessings towards us we are in position to receive them. And when we receive His goodness we pass on the benefit to the rest of the team…those who need to know Jesus.

Stalked by Goodness and Grace

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” Psalm 23:6

This beautiful line from King David’s pen and heart doesn’t seem all that powerful of a statement, but upon further context it is quite the revelation.  David was most likely an old man looking back over his life.  As he recalled his earlier life, lots of guilt and shame could have been up front and center.  He had an affair that led to the birth of his child, only for the child to die.  He sent that woman’s husband into battle on the front line and basically signed his death warrant.  He could have been consumed with guilt and shame from that alone.  He had continuously been chased and banished from his own life and throne.  Bitterness and anger could have followed him for the rest of his life.  But what does David state that he is confident will follow him every day that he had remaining on earth?  He emphatically stated that goodness and mercy from God would be his rear guard.  And not just some of the days, but he had no doubt…all the days…every single one that God would give to him.

Can we have that same confidence that at the end of our life we can look back and sing the melodies of how God shared all His goodness with us?  Will our testimonies be drenched with details of how God has mercifully chosen to forget our sins upon repentance?  God wants us to always recognize how faithful He has been to us through it all, and how He applied His mercy to our mistakes.  He wants us to look back over our time and see what He has done for us, not what has been done to us.  He wants to show us that we are victors in our circumstances instead of victims.  I believe that David’s proclamation of being followed by God’s goodness and mercy is his commitment that he will look for the goodness of God in every day.  So why wouldn’t we do the same thing? 

Psalm 23 – The Shepherd with Me by Jennifer Rothschild sums up the heart of David that we should also strive to have.  ‘When David looked back at his life, he didn’t see his sin; he saw God’s mercy.  When he looked behind him, he didn’t see his shame – he saw God’s goodness.  Where there was guilt, there is now only goodness.  Where there were mistakes there is now only mercy.’ P. 176

Judge My Case!

“My soul still remembers and sinks within me. This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness…It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD…O LORD, you have seen how I have been wronged: Judge my case.” Lamentations 3:20-59.

I don’t know about you but there was a season a while back that produced such suffering and pain that I try to avoid revisiting the circumstances. It was a time when the only thing that would bring comfort to the pain was God Himself. I felt consumed by the grief of the situation and lacked control in any of the details. This passage could have been me and it might be you. I love this entire chapter of Lamentations because it reminds me that since it made it into the canon of Scripture that God fully understands how easy it is to focus on pain. The Book of Lamentations is a collection of ordinary people who have been done wrong…betrayed…abandoned. It is a blueprint for how to transform a bitter or consumed mind into a better and consecrated position in God. What is the secret to this transformation? Taking our hurtful remembrance captive and replacing it with the beautiful reminders of God’s character and promises.

For the parents whose child has turned away…remember God’s faithfulness to comfort you in fresh ways every morning. To the woman who has been betrayed…recall that God will judge your case and fight for your honor. To the lonely person…remind your heart that God has a compassionate plan for your life. For the grieving heart…believe there still goodness and joy up ahead as we wait upon the Lord for His healing. It is clear, that hope emerges when consuming fear and bitterness subside. God is the only answer to all our challenges, and He will not be careless with our hearts or our lives. In our wait, we will recall all of His triumphs on our behalf.

“The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” Lamentations 3:25

All In!

“So the people stood afar off, but Moses drew near the thick darkness where God was.” Exodus 20:21

One morning during the time of my sister’s terminal illness, my phone rang and on the other end was Beth’s weak little voice. She had endured a grueling chemo session the day before and had finally awakened for the day. On the other end of the phone was a plea for companionship. I offered to come and get her and bring her to my house for the day. As I walked in the door I heard moving around upstairs, so I sat down at their kitchen island. Beth had never been in a hurry to do anything, even before her cancer, so I tried giving her both space and time. Even as I type the word time I realize that I had never viewed time as an enemy until then. Every action, every conversation, every plan was framed by the sand spilling grain by grain in our hourglass as time selfishly moved on. I looked around her home as if seeing it for the first time. My eyes fell upon the family portrait that hung perfectly on the wall. Her touches of decorating were evident throughout the family room, representing places they had been and things they had done as a family. Pictures of our family displayed on their piano. My eyes fell upon their bookshelf filled with medical books and nursing resources, books Beth must have thumbed through a million times as a nurse. As I went to the fridge to grab a water bottle, I was looking at all of Sydney’s artwork when my eyes caught a calendar hanging on the side. I glanced at the month and saw where her handwriting had recorded future events…future events…my heart sunk. Would she feel like chaperoning that field trip in the fall? Would she even be here at Sydney’s Christmas break to pick up the fundraiser at the school? Precious appointments…reasons to push through and fight! But among those hopeful appointments, chemo and doctor appointments took front stage on this calendar. I felt myself fighting the tears and the gloomy disposition and realized I needed to refocus. Where was she? What was she doing? How could I offer help without threatening her independence?

Finally, I heard her coming down the steps and she rounded the corner. With life in her eyes and a million dollar smile she walked up with a grateful heart and a tight embrace. How did I allow myself to sink so low as she remained so high in hope and courage? It was a question I would examine continuously throughout this journey. We emptied her nursing tote and filled it with her new arsenal… crackers to settle her stomach, her medication log to know the very moment she could have another pain pill, telephone numbers of doctors, nurses and pharmacies. And of course, the dreaded cell phone…the new appendage that every member of our family attached to ourselves since she was diagnosed. None of us went anywhere without it as if it were a part of our body…it was…it was our lifeline. We packed her up and drove to my home for the day. As I got her settled in the lazy boy in front of the television I felt my stomach growling so I left the room and went into the kitchen. She had been sick most of the morning due to the chemo, so I certainly didn’t want to eat in front of her. I glanced in the den and saw that her eyes were closed and said a little prayer that God would settle on her with comfort, peace and rest. I quietly and slowly opened the pantry door and retrieved a handful of Cheez-Its, our family’s favorite snack. As I was placing the box back on the shelf I heard this little voice straining, ‘What are you up to out there?’ Busted, I sheepishly turned to her with orange crumbs on my mouth and a guilty smile and held the box out to her. She nodded her head and motioned with her little hand for me to join her. We sat there in the room that day and had a talk I will never forget.

There was something on her heart and mind that she needed to say so I settled in for a conversation that echoes in my mind to this day. Over the course of her life, Beth had varied ideas about different philosophies. She always believed in God as her primary religion but entertained different influences, hobbies in part but also in curiosity. She shared about different times in her life when would shift her focus back to God. She stated that every time she would engage with God something bad seemed to happen, so she would abandon the focus. She told me a story about a woman at her previous place of employment, an assisted living facility. This messenger from God gave Beth a book that really took root in her heart. As she focused solely on God and worked in this Bible study, her old fears began rising and the devil pushed the play button again. He reminded her of her horrible track record when she engaged with God. He always convinced her that when she puts her heart out there to God, He is careless with it…those horrible lies from a horrible enemy. With tear-filled eyes she explained to me that this time she had decided to shut down the lies and press through her fears. She began pursuing and loving God and feeling His love returned to her. Desired relationships in her life were emerging and her faith was growing strong. She was extremely active in her church and everyone there loved her gentle ways and willing spirit. God was working on her from the inside out for sure. Then, she turned and looked at me and said, ‘And now this…the worse that could happen has…worse than I had ever imagined.’ I was at a loss of words that morning and had no answer to a question I know will never be answered on earth. But she made peace with her circumstances and was ALL IN regardless of the outcome! While I will never know that answer, I do know our God and He loves fully, rewards greatly and blesses beyond understanding. I believe that He had watched her fear of getting close to Him for years and saw her trade fear for faith and fellowship. He watched her stand up to evil as she removed the power of fear over her life. He called her into the thick darkness like Moses and she ran in towards Him. He witnessed that fighting spirit where she allowed His power to stand up to the powerlessness of Satan…and for her stand the reward would be greater than anything this old earth could give. Only heaven could match the rewards He was ready to lavish upon her. “Therefore I am going to allure her: I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards and make the Valley of Baca [Weeping] a door of hope.” Hosea 2:14:15

There is something very precious and tender about the thought of descending into the thick darkness to commune with God. It is a private and unique place where God will whisper and unveil truths for our lives. If we try to avoid or busy ourselves during our pain and suffering, we may miss the blessings that we can only obtain through our Valley of Weeping. Whatever we may lose in the darkness Christ promises to restore if we trust Him. What suffering depletes…God replenishes; whatever darkness steals…God replaces; whatever is destroyed … God rebuilds; whatever dreams seem dead…God resurrects.

We never spoke of this again, but I believe it was her statement of faith, that at some point in our lives when our fear intersects our faith, faith must be chosen even if it comes with a sacrifice …and boy did it for her…but she whispered, ‘Give me Jesus.’