Why Her?

“The LORD had regard for Abel…but he did not have regard for Cain and his offering…Cain was furious, and his face fell.” Gen 4:4-5

I have started a new Bible study which I’ve been anticipating its release for 2 months.  The study is like inviting an unwanted family member into my home out of obligation, not desire.  It is a study about comparing ourselves to others.  It’s battle cry?  ‘Why her?’  I would love to tell you that I don’t struggle with comparisons but then I would be lying.  That’s no way to begin a new study!  We don’t need to turn many pages in the beginning of biblical time to see jealousy and comparison rear its ugly head.  It is written that the two original brothers had the same opportunities to give God their offerings, but it is clear the motivation of their heart is what set them apart from each other.  Abel gave his best to God, while Cain reserved his best for himself giving God less than.  When Cain discovered his offering wasn’t accepted he was furious at both Abel and God.

Jealousy of any kind can eat us up inside.  I remember one of the first times I experienced these horrible feelings was at school when a teacher who taught my sister remarked in disdain that I was nothing like her…like Cain ‘she definitely lacked regard for me.’  I remember the questions swirled in my young little heart… ‘Why not me?  Why can’t I be enough?’ I have spent the biggest part of my life measuring myself against others.  I have spent money I didn’t have to dress good enough, I have lost track of the diets I have experienced to be thin enough, and I have done more service to be accepted enough.  And yet, at 56 I still hear that haunting battle cry…’why her…why not me?’  The more deeply I go with God the answer becomes clearer.  God has His own dreams and plans for my life, and only God can determine the transformation that is required in my heart to realize them.  One of the most beautiful things my husband has ever said to me was when I was getting ready to speak in front of a group of women.  I told him that I was disappointed that I had to use notes, because our preacher Talbot never does.  Bruce with his sweet support said, ‘Brenda, God didn’t call you to be Talbot.  He called you to be Brenda.’  I have never forgotten that truth and it has carried me through many of my ‘why her’ moments.  With every ‘why her’ moment we have, someone is looking at us with the same fallen face as Cain.  We must remember that God has called us to be His creation, not our own creation.  My preacher had a beautiful tag line to his sermon the other Sunday.  “We long for the applause of the crowd, forgetting we already have the approval of the King.” Talbot Davis, Sermon Series 167.

 “Am I now seeking the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I striving to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Gal 1:10

Golden Threads

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them…” Eccl 3:1-5

I can look back over the course of my life and see that these pearls of wisdom from King Solomon are still true today. Life is made up of seasons that are marked by circumstances. In my own life, there have been beautiful seasons of the births of my children. There have been heartbreaking seasons of the deaths of my loved ones. There have been seasons where God had me planting seeds, and other times when He had me uprooting unlovely heart attitudes. I have walked out times where tears were my companion, and other seasons where laughter was my friend. I have mourned relationships, and I have danced at weddings. I pray I have scattered stones of encouragement and I have gathered stones of comfort and compassion. I believe where we get tripped up is when we linger in a season that God has brought to a close.

God orchestrates all things in every season from beginning to end. He determines how long we need to reside in our seasons, as He has purpose and promise in each segment of time. Our lives will display a beautiful tapestry before it is over. There will be threads of pain but colors of beauty revealing order to the chaos. Life is filled with times to begin new things…times in the middle to push hard…times near the end to finish well. We move in and through our lives in a spiritually rhythmic flow that makes and molds us into the people whom God created us to be. We cannot fight the seasons for they will win every time. We must embrace what God has for us, believing and trusting that everything we experience is being woven into our beautiful tapestry. We must allow God to move us from season to season if we want to experience His blessings, walk in His freedom and claim His promises. We must be faithful here, so He can move us there.

Whatever we experience today, may it be recognized as the golden thread that is being woven into our beautiful tapestry where seasons are connected, and one day our beautiful story will be displayed. Every tapestry is unique because so are His plans for us. Until it is complete, only God can see the final picture.

Revisiting the Garden

“So the LORD sent him away from the garden of Eden…He drove the man out…” Ge 3:23-24

When I was a young girl my parents built a home out in the country.  It was a beautiful Georgian type architecture with a balcony and columns.  I loved that house and as far as I know most of my friends who visited me loved it too.  The property was thick with beautiful trees that we played hide and seek behind.  The patio on any given summer day was filled with beach towels, 70’s music blaring through the air along with the aroma of baby oil.  The trampoline stood guard to our right while Daddy’s grill was positioned to our left.  The memories of this place go on and on.  However, circumstances occurred which led to our departure of this home.  For many years I dreamed of this home, grieved for this home and fantasized about someday having the money to purchase it.  When returning to Lancaster I would even ride by our former property.  It was really an unhealthy emotional desire.  But that is what happens when we look backwards longing for a kinder time…a simpler time…our ‘garden of Eden’ time.

I wonder if Adam and Eve once they departed their garden could still see it in the distance? I wonder if on tough days they found themselves on their tiptoes trying to catch a view of its beauty.  I wonder if like me they continually reminisced about their time in the garden and how perfect it was.  How many times did they replay the final scene in their mind that led to losing the only perfect time in their lives? 

We all have memories of wonderful past times in our lives…times when we were flying high in our careers…times when the children were young, and life was simple... times when there were no empty chairs around our table. Our gardens hold so many backdrops of perfect holidays and exciting vacations.  I believe it is okay to revisit our gardens, but with a heart of deep gratitude fully understanding that everything good in our lives comes from our Father.  Anything that made our gardens perfect will be restored when we take our final breath.  When we look backwards in gratitude we can live forward in hopeful expectation of returning to a perfect garden.  Whatever has been lost on earth will be found in Heaven.  Whatever justice was not realized in this world will be justified in the next.  Our sadness and loss of today will be replaced with joy and celebration of forever tomorrows.  We don’t have to dream about returning to a perfect time…through Christ it is a promise.

Visible to the Invisible

“So she named the LORD who spoke to her: ‘You are El-roi…In this place, have I actually seen the one who sees me?’ That is why the well is called Beer-lahai-roi [Well of the Living One Who Sees Me].” Ge 16:13-14a

Poor Hagar. One day she was a servant girl in the home of Abraham and Sarai and the next day she was married to Abraham. She soon became pregnant with his child at the insistence of Sarai, who was barren. As soon as she conceived Sarai became incessantly jealous of her and ran her off. Hagar was only guilty of being used as a vessel to fill another person’s desire. Being forced from everything she knew she found herself in the wilderness feeling distraught and invisible. No doubt she felt disconnected from her previous life. While by a spring she was visited by a messenger from God who comforted her and prophesied over her. He gave her knowledge of future blessings, and a reason for living. The message was so clear and the experience so powerful she named God as the one who saw her at the well. She would never forget that well where she was heard…seen…cared for. Hagar escaped when she felt she was out of options, but she experienced the extravagant grace of God. He saw her pain and he heard her cry and met her in her deepest despair. In His great wisdom He instructed Hagar to return to the same home from where she fled, but she was not the same person. It had to make returning home a little more tolerable… a little more hopeful…with a little more empowerment.

I’m wondering this morning who feels invisible? Who feels like they are completely misunderstood…misrepresented…miserable in their circumstances? Who of you feels victimized like Hagar by someone who didn’t have your best interest at heart? Many times, we arrive at a crossroad by no fault of our own. We might be experiencing circumstances because of decisions of another person. Like Hagar, we can run but we cannot hide. Grace will come and find us, and grace will carry us through our circumstances. Many times, God will allow us to remain in our challenging situations, but He will never take His eyes off His children. ‘Whether we’ve been unjustly knocked down and drug out to the wilderness, or we’re waking up in our warm beds with a thirst only He can satisfy – wherever we are, God sees us. He hears our pleas, and He meets our needs.’ She Reads Truth Bible, p. 33.

The Backdrop of Eternity

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Co 4:16-18.

Have you ever noticed that while you are in the middle of a season of suffering it seems like forever?  I clearly remember a time in my life when this was the case.  My sister was diagnosed with cancer and lived 11 months.  As a family, we took turns being there for her on days when our brother-in-law had to travel with work.  The day to day was grueling for Beth which made it also grueling for us to watch.  The journey was long in emotions and heartbreak, but short in duration in comparison to the long view of life. During that time, we set up a CaringBridge website which was a daily update of our journey.  We would post the happenings and others would post amazing encouragements.  There is no doubt that ministry happened on that website.  People would comfort us, suffer with us, celebrate with us and eventually they mourned with us.  When I look back at the impact that experience and sharing had on the lives of others I know that Jesus was revealed.  I am confident that lives were changed, and hearts were renewed in Christ.  Heaven will one day reveal the eternal significance that experience had and that the pain was full of purpose.  Perspective can only come when we are on the other side of the valley looking back.  I have said a million times that I cannot believe that experience was only 11 months.  During that time, it seemed like forever, but looking backwards I can see the glory of God and how it continues to illuminate years later.

That is what Paul is speaking of when he says our light and momentary troubles.  It is not that those times are easy and free of pain.  However, in the light of eternity where everything is restored, and every heart is reconnected the experience seems to fade into yesterday. ‘When it comes to pain we experience, we may not always consider how it will ultimately minister to others.  Most of the time, we are just trying to make it through.  But Paul wanted his suffering to bring life to others.’ All Things New, p. 62. Some of the greatest work is done when our suffering impacts the lives of others with our testimonies.  We cannot keep quiet about the way Jesus carries us through and delivers us from despair and weakness.  ‘If we’re going to walk through the valley, it’s a blessing to know it will count for God’s kingdom and His people.’  All Things New, Kelly Minter, p. 62.  I hope that if you are walking through a season of suffering that you will be encouraged that your pain is not void of purpose.  I pray that you will share in your suffering with others allowing them to comfort you.  I know that when we speak courage and comfort into our own circumstances we speak courage and comfort into the lives of others. Faith has the feet to keep us moving through the valley.

“I believed; therefore I have spoken.  With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us…” 2 Co 4:13-14.

Ambushed by Hope

“You do not have to fight this battle.  Position yourselves, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD.  He is with you…Do not be afraid or discouraged.” 2 Ch 20:17

This morning was a day just like any other day.  I awoke, grabbed my coffee, plugged in my Airpods and began listening to my Christian music through Pandora.  This normally gets me positioned in a spirit of worship before my prayers and Bible study.  This morning followed the routine until I got to a part in my Bible study which led me to the above verse.  I knew it sounded familiar but as I turned the pages it was as if I had turned down a road that led to a cemetery.  This was the verse that God continued to take me to a few years ago when I was waiting for a promise to be fulfilled.  It was a time when there was no doubt in my mind that I was about to receive a decade old promise.  I had staked my life on it…I had based my faith on it…I had claimed the completion of it.  But tears came in place of celebration and a headstone was erected in my heart instead of a testimony on my lips.  I have a new Bible, and this page is eerily void of marks and highlights on this verse.  When I discovered to which verse God was taking me I closed my eyes, began to cry and relived it over again.  I was struck by the grief of an unfulfilled dream.  But then something amazing happened…I was ambushed by hope!

I wonder if this has ever happened to you?  Have you prayed so hard and so long for something that you truly feel is God’s will?  Have you claimed verses, sang those songs of delivery just waiting to see the salvation of the Lord?  This verse again entreats me to continue to position myself…to continue to be still…to continue being courageous to believe and encouraged to receive.  He is with us in our hurts and our hopes.  He breathes life into heart places where we have laid our dreams to rest.  He resurrects the things He has promised us to remind us of His faithfulness.  He does all the heavy lifting, so we can just rest in Him, believe in His promises and praise Him for His faithfulness. 

Be careful out there today…you just might get ambushed by hope!

“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5

Our Finisher

“‘I am Ruth, your servant,’ she replied. ‘Take me under your wing, for you are a redeemer.’ Naomi said, ‘My daughter, wait until you find out how things go, for he won’t rest unless he resolves this…’” Ruth 3:
9b, 18.

Every time I read this part of Ruth I share butterflies with her and I even know the outcome. I can’t help but to consider how vulnerable she must have felt in approaching this man who could very well be her family’s redeemer. He was the one who could join them in their lives bringing blessings, joy and comfort like they hadn’t experienced in a very long time. She approached him in courage, submission and hope in the dark of the night. When he realized she was at his feet, he whispered ‘Who are you?’ She quietly uttered the words, ‘I am Ruth, your servant…take me under your wing.’ Did her voice quiver? Was her request strong and confident? Was she thankful that it was dark, and she couldn’t see his expression? Did her words trail off as the request drifted from her lips? We are not told, but we are told that he responded to her with beautiful words. ‘Now don’t be afraid, my daughter. I will do for you whatever you say…Yes, it is true that I am a…redeemer, but…’ Ruth 3:11-12. That dreaded word that NO ONE desires to hear…BUT. Boaz knew that there were matters that had to be taken care of before he could honor her request. He wanted to give her what she asked, but he knew things had to be done in an orderly and timely fashion. Naomi fully understood the things that needed to be orchestrated before the request could be honored, and the dream fulfilled. She encouraged her to wait…to eagerly watch…to believe that Boaz would not rest until he resolved things.

Neither will our Redeemer! We tentatively approach Him in our prayers asking things of Him that only He can give. ‘Lord, bless me with a child…a medical healing…a partner to love…a job to bring me purpose…’ our requests go on and on. Just like Ruth we stand up from our knees and return to our lives. Just like Ruth we spend lots of time waiting…watching…hoping. Days turn into weeks which turn into months and years. There are signs of encouragement but no resolution. There are tender moments in our prayer time but nothing on the horizon. We must tell ourselves what Naomi imparted to Ruth. ‘I cannot wait until I see what God is doing in these circumstances! He is orchestrating things better than I could have ever imagined! He will not rest until this is resolved and He will determine the when, how and who will bring about His perfect plan in this season.’

And one beautiful unimaginable day, He will show up and show out! Keep asking, keep waiting and watching and above all keep believing that the One who is able will complete what He started. He is the Finisher of all things!

“Now to Him who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him to be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20.