Why Her?

“The LORD had regard for Abel…but he did not have regard for Cain and his offering…Cain was furious, and his face fell.” Gen 4:4-5

I have started a new Bible study which I’ve been anticipating its release for 2 months.  The study is like inviting an unwanted family member into my home out of obligation, not desire.  It is a study about comparing ourselves to others.  It’s battle cry?  ‘Why her?’  I would love to tell you that I don’t struggle with comparisons but then I would be lying.  That’s no way to begin a new study!  We don’t need to turn many pages in the beginning of biblical time to see jealousy and comparison rear its ugly head.  It is written that the two original brothers had the same opportunities to give God their offerings, but it is clear the motivation of their heart is what set them apart from each other.  Abel gave his best to God, while Cain reserved his best for himself giving God less than.  When Cain discovered his offering wasn’t accepted he was furious at both Abel and God.

Jealousy of any kind can eat us up inside.  I remember one of the first times I experienced these horrible feelings was at school when a teacher who taught my sister remarked in disdain that I was nothing like her…like Cain ‘she definitely lacked regard for me.’  I remember the questions swirled in my young little heart… ‘Why not me?  Why can’t I be enough?’ I have spent the biggest part of my life measuring myself against others.  I have spent money I didn’t have to dress good enough, I have lost track of the diets I have experienced to be thin enough, and I have done more service to be accepted enough.  And yet, at 56 I still hear that haunting battle cry…’why her…why not me?’  The more deeply I go with God the answer becomes clearer.  God has His own dreams and plans for my life, and only God can determine the transformation that is required in my heart to realize them.  One of the most beautiful things my husband has ever said to me was when I was getting ready to speak in front of a group of women.  I told him that I was disappointed that I had to use notes, because our preacher Talbot never does.  Bruce with his sweet support said, ‘Brenda, God didn’t call you to be Talbot.  He called you to be Brenda.’  I have never forgotten that truth and it has carried me through many of my ‘why her’ moments.  With every ‘why her’ moment we have, someone is looking at us with the same fallen face as Cain.  We must remember that God has called us to be His creation, not our own creation.  My preacher had a beautiful tag line to his sermon the other Sunday.  “We long for the applause of the crowd, forgetting we already have the approval of the King.” Talbot Davis, Sermon Series 167.

 “Am I now seeking the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I striving to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Gal 1:10