“Now Laban had two daughters: the older was named Leah, and the younger was named Rachel. Leah had tender eyes, but Rachel was shapely and beautiful.” Ge 29:16-17
This verse…good grief! I don’t know a woman alive who could read this verse and not cringe at the blatant comparison of the two young girls. Most of us can even conjure up an experience where we had ‘tender eyes’ while another was ‘shapely and beautiful.’ For me it was the summer after 8th grade when I was hired to work away from home at Bonclarken, our church camp. Teens and college kids from all over were thrown together to do life for 6 weeks for some, and the entire summer for others. I was so excited to be hired and never imagined the fishbowl in which I would live. Our small group of employees set the stage for a summer of constant comparison for me, and an extended time of feeling like I was the one with ‘tender eyes.’ I even made the job (cafeteria waitress) for which I was hired an opportunity for comparison. As a little 13-year-old I remember thinking that the ‘shapely and beautiful’ girls were hired for the highly coveted snack bar position, while the ‘tender eye’ girls were waitresses slinging food. The summer went on and so did my insecurity as I watched boy after boy go after the same 2 girls. While I had a ton of fun that summer, I was ready to get home and stop working so hard at consoling myself.
We live in a world where comparison is our favorite past time, a game everyone plays, and no one wins. We compare our looks and popularity to others…we compare our success or failure in our jobs to others…we compare our financial situation to others...we compare our children to others…we even compare our losses to others. Comparisons create the most consuming, over-analyzed activity that our brains can do. So, what do we do when we find ourselves in situations with ‘tender eyes?’ How can we rewrite the script when we see the ‘shapely and beautiful’ on whatever platform? We can pray for eyes to see our worth through God’s eyes. We can refuse to follow the thinking that we are less than another. We can ask the Holy Spirit to reaffirm how much we are loved by our Father. We can call it what it is when these feelings arise…lies sent by Satan to gain a foothold. Most importantly we can choose gratitude. God will always remind us of what we have, while Satan will always point out what we do not have.
When we feel like we suffer from the tender eye syndrome let us all turn to the mirror that really reflects beauty… the Bible. It is the ultimate love story written by a God who adores and loves each one the same. God has no favorites and desires us to see ourselves in every situation as shapely and beautiful. It is why He shapes us into the likeness of Christ, and why we have been chosen in Christ as His beautiful bride. Let us claim the true position that we have been given...CHOSEN...and walk out lives in confidence and clarity.
"But you [we] are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
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