The Mud and Mire...

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God." Psalm 40: 1-3a.

The cry was to deliver my sweet sister from her prison... the mud and mire was the depair I felt while sitting next to her watching her with little life...the firm place to stand was the promise from God of her impending miracle.

Welcome to my song, my hymn of praise to our God! Back in the beginning of March, my son-in-law, who had relapsed previously, was to be rejoined with his wife and children the second week of March. He had been putting his life back together in a treatment program away from Charlotte. Kristen had been in her "mud and mire" for over 2 months and was needing the comfort of her husband as she watched her aunt lie dying. She had stated to me that she did not want to have to handle Beth's death without the support of her husband at home.

At the same time I would go and sit with my sister during the days in the week astonished each day that she could decline even more. I found myself questioning God's timing and wondering for what purpose this could be serving. Why must she lay here day after day unaware of her surroundings, fighting to keep her eyes focused on her surroundings and being held captive by her own body. Unlike the psalmist, David, I found myself impatient and asking God for justification. Then, one day, I understood God to be saying to me to recite my belief in His timing so I would sit there holding Beth's hand. As tears continuously ran down my cheeks, I would state aloud, "Your timing is perfect, your timing is perfect, your timing is perfect, etc..." Obviously, reciting these words were more intellectual at first but gradually He did lift me out of the quicksand of my mind. I finally felt there was purpose in the wait. He is God - He didn't owe me an explanation nor was He seeking my approval of the wait.

That was the Monday leading up to Beth's homegoing the following Sunday. My son-in-law came home that Tuesday and was reunited with the family. The weekend was to be one for Beth and Paul (her husband) alone as it was their 14th wedding anniversary. On the Friday before she passed my dad was drenched in God's grace and was able to face the inevitable with courage, faith and peace.

I am sure there are many other purposes for Beth's lingering but it is not up to us to question God nor His ways. I am now in another "waiting period" as a family member has chosen a lifestyle not consistent with the Word. I will continue to serve and sing a song of hope during this wait apart from the length of time. No matter what your "mud and mire" consists of God's timing will always be perfect. Sing a new song and He will lift you up and place your feet on the firm rock of the Bible.