Who Am I?

"Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign LORD, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign LORD?" 2 Samuel 7:18-19.

As we approach my daughter's 5-year sobriety birthday of May 14 I am on my knees before the LORD humbly and tearfully claiming these verses. When I think about the way the LORD brought Kristen through heroin addiction, homelessness, and many other paths of darkness I cannot believe that He worked that kind of miracle for my family. I can still remember a day when I was sitting at a stop light and glanced over at an old broken down store when my eyes were drawn to this slumped over girl who had passed out under a payphone - waiting for a call to get her next fix, no doubt. Upon closer look, I noticed it was Kristen. When the light turned, I slowly inched the car up to a parking lot, pulled over and sobbed, prayed and pleaded to God. I couldn't think of a time when I would ever see her healthy, clean and whole. It was a dark time with no answers and events like this were common for my family. But God sat her down and turned her around for His glory and gave her a beautiful story to tell of redemption and the ultimate love story - one between Father and child.

How can I ever approach God in prayer without the intense and heart consumed gratitude every time - and yet I do...I bring my commonplace mind and heart to Him with a less than spectacular display of amazement at the One whom I lay before. He has given me the greatest miracle ever - the saving of my child's life. What kind of encore can follow that...and yet there will be many encore performances for that is what my God does.

I am reading a book on the different ways we hear God in our lives and upon thinking about Who we are approaching, I mean really thinking, I wondered how we ever lose our sense of astonishment of Who this awesome God is for each of us. Everyone has had moments of such humility before God and amazement of the way He worked things in our behalf. By reminiscing these moments, and lingering in these workings He will lay upon our hearts the emotions, gratitude and remembrance of another time of pain from which He has delivered us. Bask in the warmth and remembrance of how God was mighty to save.

I have no reason to travel down that road where I saw Kristen many years ago but sometimes I take that detour just to go by that payphone and celebrate that my little girl no longer has that seat.