Charging God with Wrong

"Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped…In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.” Job 1:20, 22

I have just finished listening to the first session of my new Bible study written by Lisa Harper, Job – A Story of Unlikely Joy. I have so much to process just from this morning and my heart feels a little raw. I know this study will be emotional for me and for you because we have all had our hearts broken…our dreams dashed…traumatic lines drawn in the sand that will never be erased. Lisa ended this session conducting an interview with a woman named Sarah Cantrell. Sarah had always wanted a set of twins from the time she was a little girl to the time she conceived. Surely enough God gave her the heart’s desire of her life, and the day had arrived. Sarah had a 5-year-old daughter who was at home anticipating the arrival and introduction of her new brothers. Meanwhile, at the hospital the lives of the twins dwindled quickly during the first day and the parents were forced to prepare funerals instead of bottles. Their little 5-year-old was sitting barefoot and excited on the front porch as the car pulled up. As Sarah and her husband emerged empty-armed, the little girl asked where her brothers were. Sarah bent down and said, ‘Some babies God just wants to keep in Heaven.’ At this moment the little girl put her hands over her heart and said, ‘…and Mommy, he picked you?!’

Many years ago, when I had a Job season my question to God was more ‘How could you pick us for all this suffering.’ Through much anguish, contemplation and heartbreak I finally heard in my Spirit, ‘Why not your family with the faith to exemplify.’ It’s amazing that sometimes we think the worst of God as He thinks the best of us. I immediately understood that He was mostly referring to my grandparents and parents, who have spanned generations of hearts that pointed to God in difficult circumstances. It was now my generation's turn to walk out legacy. It was a great legacy in which to be born, but a hard legacy to walk out. The interesting thing about legacy is that it is formed in the everyday where days turn into weeks, weeks into years and years into a lifetime. Spiritual legacies are made up of our responses to heartbreaks and healing … questions and comforts…hello’s and goodbye’s.

Oh, to have had this response when God picked me to have a child who would suffer emotionally and physically for 8 years. To have this sense of honor when God picked me to sit by my dad’s side as he took hold of Christ. God picked me and our family to walk our sister home at 42. God picked me to allow complete devastation in my marriage when it was discovered that I secretly spent thousands of dollars. But this morning I also consider how God has picked me in His undeserving blessings. God has picked me to have 3 amazing children who love me and defend me. God has picked me to have an amazing husband who stands by me no matter what. God has picked me to be one of four in a precious community called sisterhood. I was picked by God to have such wonderful parents, grandparents and extended family. I’m so honored to be picked by God to be called Emmy by 3 little hearts who keep me young.

I am sure that you can also consider the ways in which God has picked you. I think we must consider our lives in totality to really see the expansive blessings that God has given us. When we view our lives in segments we can question God’s goodness. But when we view our lives in one overarching rainbow…a beautiful ebb and flow of God’s graces…then we can have a heart like Sarah’s little girl…a heart that says ‘…oh, God picked me!’