Uniquely Created

“Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water?” James 3:11

I remember after my daughter returned to physical and emotional health it was surprising how many people God sent my way to counsel. It seemed that the tide had turned, and parents were bringing their children’s addiction out into public. They wanted help…they wanted encouragement…they wanted answers. Years ago, a friend approached me after church and began sharing her heart about her son who was trying to get off drugs. I listened but became impatiently aware that in my opinion she was enabling her son. He was 21, still living at home, and involved in drugs. I remember blurting out that she just needed to administer tough love and ask him to leave. You see, it was our experience with our situation that might have led to a positive outcome, so I arrogantly determined she should do the same thing. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and gave me a serious medical condition he had that complicated my judgmental answer. So, this morning I can answer the question James asked…yes, the fountain can send out both fresh and bitter water. It was at that point the Holy Spirit convicted me of one of the most important lessons of counsel. Just because something resulted in a positive outcome for me doesn’t give me permission to stamp that decision on another. By interjecting our judgment and arrogance into the suffering of another is like wounds by friendly fire. We must share our experiences and give the Holy Spirit license to guide them in the manner God has for their situation.

I’m sure that my earlier experiences of comfort left people feeling like Job, ‘Miserable comforters are you!’ Job 16:2. When I try to encourage others now I always ask God to help them grasp what He wanted to say to them and release every other word I speak. I try to do more listening these days and just be in the moment. I understand more clearly that what I am to give as an 'encourager' is what I would like to receive as a sufferer…a listening ear…a tender smile…a nodding spirit…a comforting touch. I try to measure my words and actions against the example Christ gave but fall short most times. The older I get the more I realize that one of our greatest gifts to another is the affirming silence that their suffering is real…their experience is their own…and that God alone always has the answer.

God never meant for us to be spiritual twins. He has chosen very different paths for very different purposes. We were each individually created in the image of God…the image God predetermined for us…the image that is far from the duplication of another. I pray that each of us gives the tender mercies today that we would love to receive from another. Love that doesn’t demand its own way… love that doesn’t tear down…love that encourages and offers hope...love that is unique.