Fringe Benefits

“And behold, a woman who had suffered for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment…for she said to herself, ‘If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.’” Matthew 9:20-21

This morning while studying Job I took a literary field trip to Matthew prompted by the author, Lisa Harper. I have always loved the story of the courageous woman who inched her way through the crowd motivated by her pain. Her desperate goal was to touch the fringe on the garment Jesus was wearing. She fully understood that He had the complete power to heal with very little interaction. ‘If I could only touch His fringe’ she claimed to herself. She had the courage to crawl and the faith to receive…and she was ‘made well.’

Many times, in my life I have felt like that woman who came crawling to the feet of Jesus. Times when my sin was great and other times when my heart was broken. For much of my adult life I was only touching the fringe…that small part of Jesus that didn’t require sacrifice. But when I was 45 the whole Garment of Jesus beckoned me. God knew who He created me to be and it wasn’t that woman crawling in her faith who occasionally touched the fringe. He created all of us to more than that…he created all of us to welcome the complete person of Christ Jesus into our lives and live abundantly in Him. He convinced me that I was not poorly made but perfectly designed for the person He fashioned in His mind.

We cannot become more like Jesus until we reach for more than the fringe. 'Touching the fringe' of Jesus is important because it is the first step that guarantees we too will be eternally made well once we are called home. That first touch secures our salvation but every touch after secures our soul and spirit on earth. The power of Jesus is in the wholeness of Him. Only through reaching for all of Jesus can marriages be healed, health be restored, loved ones be reunited and true love be found.

Searching for Rainbows

“He wraps up the water in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst beneath its weight…He stirs up the sea with His power, And by His understanding He breaks up the storm.” Job 26:8

I’m so grateful that God included the Book of Job to help us better relate to a suffering heart. It was two chapters ago that Job was complaining to God about all the injustices that were going unpunished. He spent a considerable amount of time pointing out bad things that God seemed to overlook. The next time we heard from Job he was reciting the greatness of God. His words that follow the grumbling and rumbling were nothing short of a harmonious symphony written just for God. His journey from woe to worship reminds us that our emotions are a fickle tour guide, one to whom we must not give a license.

One time certainly comes to mind when my prayer went from woe to worship in one kneeling. My father-in-law who had Alzheimer’s was living with us and was in the final stage. I remember one Thursday night I was up in our loft on my knees. I cried so hard my eyes were raw and paths of tears marked my cheeks. I began telling God how the burden was too much, and how our family had done it alone. I began reminding God that we had not withheld anything in our caregiving. I felt frustrated, forlorn and forgotten. It was a time when, unlike the clouds in our verse, I felt as if I was going to ‘burst beneath the weight’ of my circumstances. And just like that, the Lord stirred up my heart and mind, giving me His wisdom on a resource I had not yet discovered for Bud. He brought Hospice to my mind and I could instantly feel the storm losing its power over me. My woe turned into worship as I praised Him for always being faithful for breaking up storms before they break me.

I know that there are some of you reading this today who have more woe in your prayers than worship. I’m confident that the storm that wages against you is frightening and paralyzing. These are the times where your depleted soul can intersect God’s unlimited power that will carry you through the day. He will wrap up your tears and worries and hold them back from breaking you. He is stirring the details of your circumstances and only He understands what will resolve them. He will breathe new life into dead situations and set your life back on its foundation. His greatest miracles that He works in each of our lives are but a fraction of what He has the power to accomplish in our lives. Every season has an ending and every hushed storm has a rainbow.  So, keep your eyes on the rainbow, the beautiful promise that God is in control and He will be faithful to His word.

"I have set My rainbow in the clouds, and it will be a sign of the covenant...Whenever I form clouds...and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember My covenant between Me and you..." Ge 9:13-15

While We Are Sleeping

"Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us." Romans 8:34.

When our three children were young our afternoons and evenings were filled with hectic, rowdy, and constant chaos. Between projects, chores, homework and preparing dinner the hours between 4-8 seemed to be longer than any other block of time. By the time Bruce returned home from work I had a list of things regarding the kids that I needed to talk to him about. Bruce would usually arrive home around 6:00 and by 6:30 dinner would be on the table. After dinner we would make ‘unreasonable’ demands of them such as packing their backpacks for the morning, brushing their teeth, laying out their clothes and for the little one to pack her lunch for the next day…the consequence for being picky. Once the last light had gone out of their bedrooms, the last little knees had bent in prayer and the last kiss had been given I could finally breathe. It was at that time…while they were sleeping…that Bruce and I would talk about things that affected them. There were dreams we had for them. There were decisions to be made which many times resulted in differences of opinions but there was always great intercession on both sides. The occasional accusations and the passionate defenses were all part of the intercession dance called life.

I was thinking this morning how we must look like that to God our Father and Christ the Son. The Bible states that Jesus is our Mediator and sits beside God constantly interceding for us. ‘Clearly, Jesus is still very active on our behalf in heaven.’ www.GotQuestionsMinistry.org. Just think of the conversations between them as we are unaware our names are being spoken from the mouth of Jesus. I wonder if God shares the plans He has for us with Christ when He brings up our name. I am humbled by the thought that as God looks upon our sin or unlovely attitudes, Christ smiles and says, ‘I've got that covered.’ I can just see Christ explaining how much His heart hurts for us and what we are going through. He knows that He has overcome all things, but we haven’t yet so He spills out His heart in compassion and love which moves the heart of God. They reminisce about the faith we have displayed and the testimonies we have shared. They see our dreams fulfilled, and they picture our joy when we are reunited with our loved ones. I could go on and on with the tender whispers they exchange and the laughter they share as they see our perfectly planned future laid out. Every single planned occurrence in our life is just a matter of time...their time...the perfect time...the destined time.

But for now, it is enough for me to know that my name and your name…my family and your family...my challenges and your challenges…my dreams and your dreams are being talked over, planned for and celebrated in advance by the only Ones who have the power to will and work every single thing for our life.

…and all while we are sleeping.

Feeling Forgotten

"Hannah prayed to the LORD and wept many tears…if you…take notice of your servant’s affliction, remember and not forget me…I am a woman with a broken heart…I’ve been praying from the depth of my anguish and resentment.” 1 Samuel 1:11, 15

My grandmother recorded in her journal every day for over 62 years which included family experiences, Scripture, commitments and prayers. I still have those journals that chronicle a life where God continuously remembered her and never forgot her. Volume upon volume she begged to and boasted of her Father through heartbreaking times and joyful times. There are anguished sentences of ink that are scribbled on those pages, some ink smeared by her tears no doubt. I remember one entry in particular which resonates with me this morning while I was praying about something for the millionth time. She wrote, ‘That Saturday, as I was trying to cook the noon meal, tears were streaming down my face and splashing wherever there was a catching place. After the meal was over and the kitchen was cleaned, I went into the back bedroom and got down on my knees— but not to pray, I went to cry. I had prayed all the prayers I knew for Mother’s healing over and over again. I had begged God, agonized, and claimed all the promises of healing that I knew. The healing had not come. I was kneeling and weeping, but there were no words. After a while and through my sobbing I heard with the “ears of my spirit” a sweet Voice, saying, “You don’t have faith enough for this, but I have, my faith will never fail, and it will encircle your faith, so yours will not fail.” In that moment His faith quickened mine so that I could believe, and I see the secret of faith. I arose from my knees and left the back bedroom a different way from which I had entered. I now understood that there comes a point in intercession where words are left behind. Where the person himself becomes the prayer he is making, and words as such are unnecessary. I found this well in a desert time of my life, and today I still draw strength from those living waters. It is the reason I can spiritually “run without being weary and walk without fainting.” Pilgrimage to the Promised Land, Gipsie Miller, p. 72

I am currently 12 years deep in waiting on a promise to be fulfilled, and 2 ½ years deep on another one. One is extremely emotional for me while the other is very important for our future. I feel I have prayed all the prayers, claimed all the promises, stood on complete faith but still the promises are unrealized. Hannah and Grandmother’s anguished pleas strike a chord deep in my heart this morning. Their raw emotional requests of God seem too familiar. How my heart breaks for them…for me…and for you. Our lives hauntingly echo their lives when we have prayed for years to receive something…our pleas hauntingly echo their pleas of ‘remember and not forget me.’

It is easy to feel like God has forgotten us when the years tick off the calendar and our promises are still in theory, not in reality. We must be like Hannah and Grandmother who fully understood that God doesn’t tire from our prayers but invites them. Not only have we not been forgotten, but He has equipped us for this journey. It is through these pleas that His faith encircles our faith and carries us until the design of the promise has been fully conceived. God hasn’t forgotten your loved ones…He hasn’t forgotten your broken marriage…He remembers that you need that job…want that partner…desire that final outcome. When we can’t speak the words anymore we have the Guide who lifts our words for us. We can rest in that truth that even when there are no new words to lift the Holy Spirit never runs out of words.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26

Scars to Beauty Marks

"Then he said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.'” John 20:27

When I was 6 years old I was required to have surgery to repair a blocked area leading to my kidneys. I stayed in the hospital for a week and the recovery was slow and painful. The scar wrapped around my little waist and is still very prominent 50 years later. But when I look at that scar bad memories don’t come to mind because I had a great time in the hospital being fussed over and spoiled. I’m sure I had incredibly painful days after surgery but the things I remember included the fun I had in the hospital and the absence of severe stomach aches. Fast forward 9 years to a time when I had a bad knee. At 15 my knee would pop out of its joint causing tons of pain. Eventually the cartilage in my knee completely tore in half requiring immediate surgery. That recovery was a very slow and limiting time when all I wanted was to be normal like the other kids. After my knee completely healed it was better than it had been in years. All the pain and suffering that the surgery created was temporary but the benefits were long lasting. I used to teach Sunday School to 5-year-old's and one day this little child came up and said, ‘Mrs. Emmons…you have a run in your hose.’ I thought that was hilarious and realized that was exactly what my scar looked like.

Scars…they are interesting things. They all have a story to tell but many times we silence them by hiding them. So many people have scars that are visible but there are also scars of the heart. Just like our physical scars they tell a story of loss, pain and suffering. They represent the afterlife of messy, broken and fractured circumstances that we have endured. Scars can be ugly and unsightly, but scars can also tell a beautiful story of health, new life and redemption. One of the first things Jesus did as Savior was point out His scars. Those scars boasted of incredible trauma to His body, but beautiful afterlife to His spirit. He brought attention to the individual scars that marked what had been done to Him. God gave Jesus a resurrected body and could have made the scars disappear… after-all, He is God. Lisa Harper, author of Job - A Story of Unlikely Joy suggests that God sees our scars as beauty marks. I feel that God chose to leave those scars on Jesus’s body, because He saw the beauty in what His son did for us. Beauty that through His scars we are healed. Beauty that through His scars we are forgiven. Undeserving scars that ushers us into the arms of our loved ones in eternity. Scars that invite us to live with Him in Heaven one day.

We must also use our scars as stories of deliverance and healing. Some of us might have scars of grief where we have had to say our temporal goodbyes to those we loved most. Some of us might have scars of a prodigal child who in our minds died a million times. Some of us might have scars of betrayal from the very people who should have loved us…could have cared about us…but didn’t. Whatever our scars are…however we obtained them…we’ve earned them because we went through the pain. Lisa also writes, ‘The older I get, the more convinced I am that admittedly flawed {scarred} sinners are the most credible witnesses of the gospel.’ P. 70.

‘On the last day, Jesus will look us over not for medals, diplomas, or honors, but for scars.’ Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning, p. 48.

Dancing Shadows

“So, I have been allotted months…And wearisome nights have been appointed to me. When I lie down, I say, ‘When shall I arise, and the night be ended? How long?’” Job 7:3-4, 19

Most people are pretty good at managing a crisis in the beginning. We set our minds on survival and devise a plan to move forward when something forces itself into our lives. But what happens when days drift into months, and months melt into years? What do we do with the realization that relief still hasn’t come after so many years? How do we hold on to our faith when we all we want to do is hold on to our pillows and disengage with life? Most importantly, how do we continue to believe in His promises when so many go unfulfilled? ‘When shall I arise, and the night be ended?’

For whatever reason, my seasons of suffering tend to be ‘many allotted months’ that mark off many years. Even now I arise each morning with a clear realization that yesterday was not the day when the night ended. Even now I know that the night still boasts that work is not on our horizon. Even now the night with its dancing shadows reminds me that morning has not yet come. I wonder this morning what your allotted months look like that keep you up at night. Is it the phone that doesn’t ring from the loved one you desperately desire to hear from? Is it the email that never comes bringing good news of resolution? Is it the loneliness of wanting a partner with whom to share your life, or the realization that your partner is distant? Could your night be seeing life drain out of a loved one who is soon destined for Heaven?

Or could it be that we lift our eyes to Jesus, and turn our hearts towards remembrance? “But then I recall all you have done, O LORD; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.” Psalm 77:11. ‘I remember the day Bruce said, ‘I do’ and the sweet life I’ve had with him. I remember seeing the little eyes of my new born babies meet mine for the first time. I remember the day you saved our daughter’s life from imminent death. I'll never forget the tender mercies you gave our hearts when our marriage was facing tough times. I recall Lord how you brought us work after another season of unemployment. I recall the sustaining grace you provided as we accepted life without our loved ones.’

Soothing balm for the soul while we wait...Comforting shadows of remembrance when God was faithful and kept every promise. These are the shadows that I want to dance with during the dark of the night. The shadows that tenderly remind me that night can’t last forever, and the daylight will come. The shadow that takes my hand and reminds me that God has done it once, and He will do it again!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

Seasoned With Salt

“Your memorable saying are proverbs of ash” Job 13:12. “If you were in my place I could also talk like you. I could string words together against you and shake my head at you.” Job 16:2-5

Navigating the waters of grief in another person’s life are dicey and dangerous to say the least. Years ago, I facilitated Griefshare, and was continuously amazed at the insensitive words people would say to our participants after losing their loved one. The insensitive ‘string of words’ that tumbled from their mouth were astonishing and embarrassing. Many times, people would use Bible verses as platitudes that only stung and wounded such as well, ‘the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away’ Job 1:21. Other times, it would be empty statements like ‘Heaven needed another angel’ which is fine unless it’s your loved one. When my young daughter was living an unhealthy life separated from us someone very close to me actually said that maybe if we would just love her more everything would be okay…all examples of ‘proverbs of ash.’

I know that people are well-intended but unless we have walked in their shoes our futile words can be like a little ember that sparks a fire in their soul. ‘How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire…And the tongue is a fire...’ James 3:5-6. Before my dad transitioned to his final home I had ‘head sympathy’ when someone told me their dad had died. But when I went through my own journey with my dad I more fully understood the pain of what others experienced. I received their experience of saying goodbye intellectually, but after kissing my dad goodbye for the last time I began receiving the experience of others emotionally and heart-fully. Brennan Manning, author of Ruthless Trust writes, ‘Only someone who has been there, who has drunk the dregs of our cup of pain, who has experienced the loneliness and alienation of the human condition…only that witness is credible; only that love is believable.’ pp 44-45

One of the greatest gifts we can ever offer a grieving heart is Colossians 4:6 as a prayer before we attempt to comfort and encourage them. ‘Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.’

May we be people who season with salt today and every day in a world of hurting people.