While We Are Sleeping

"Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us." Romans 8:34.

When our three children were young our afternoons and evenings were filled with hectic, rowdy, and constant chaos. Between projects, chores, homework and preparing dinner the hours between 4-8 seemed to be longer than any other block of time. By the time Bruce returned home from work I had a list of things regarding the kids that I needed to talk to him about. Bruce would usually arrive home around 6:00 and by 6:30 dinner would be on the table. After dinner we would make ‘unreasonable’ demands of them such as packing their backpacks for the morning, brushing their teeth, laying out their clothes and for the little one to pack her lunch for the next day…the consequence for being picky. Once the last light had gone out of their bedrooms, the last little knees had bent in prayer and the last kiss had been given I could finally breathe. It was at that time…while they were sleeping…that Bruce and I would talk about things that affected them. There were dreams we had for them. There were decisions to be made which many times resulted in differences of opinions but there was always great intercession on both sides. The occasional accusations and the passionate defenses were all part of the intercession dance called life.

I was thinking this morning how we must look like that to God our Father and Christ the Son. The Bible states that Jesus is our Mediator and sits beside God constantly interceding for us. ‘Clearly, Jesus is still very active on our behalf in heaven.’ www.GotQuestionsMinistry.org. Just think of the conversations between them as we are unaware our names are being spoken from the mouth of Jesus. I wonder if God shares the plans He has for us with Christ when He brings up our name. I am humbled by the thought that as God looks upon our sin or unlovely attitudes, Christ smiles and says, ‘I've got that covered.’ I can just see Christ explaining how much His heart hurts for us and what we are going through. He knows that He has overcome all things, but we haven’t yet so He spills out His heart in compassion and love which moves the heart of God. They reminisce about the faith we have displayed and the testimonies we have shared. They see our dreams fulfilled, and they picture our joy when we are reunited with our loved ones. I could go on and on with the tender whispers they exchange and the laughter they share as they see our perfectly planned future laid out. Every single planned occurrence in our life is just a matter of time...their time...the perfect time...the destined time.

But for now, it is enough for me to know that my name and your name…my family and your family...my challenges and your challenges…my dreams and your dreams are being talked over, planned for and celebrated in advance by the only Ones who have the power to will and work every single thing for our life.

…and all while we are sleeping.

Feeling Forgotten

"Hannah prayed to the LORD and wept many tears…if you…take notice of your servant’s affliction, remember and not forget me…I am a woman with a broken heart…I’ve been praying from the depth of my anguish and resentment.” 1 Samuel 1:11, 15

My grandmother recorded in her journal every day for over 62 years which included family experiences, Scripture, commitments and prayers. I still have those journals that chronicle a life where God continuously remembered her and never forgot her. Volume upon volume she begged to and boasted of her Father through heartbreaking times and joyful times. There are anguished sentences of ink that are scribbled on those pages, some ink smeared by her tears no doubt. I remember one entry in particular which resonates with me this morning while I was praying about something for the millionth time. She wrote, ‘That Saturday, as I was trying to cook the noon meal, tears were streaming down my face and splashing wherever there was a catching place. After the meal was over and the kitchen was cleaned, I went into the back bedroom and got down on my knees— but not to pray, I went to cry. I had prayed all the prayers I knew for Mother’s healing over and over again. I had begged God, agonized, and claimed all the promises of healing that I knew. The healing had not come. I was kneeling and weeping, but there were no words. After a while and through my sobbing I heard with the “ears of my spirit” a sweet Voice, saying, “You don’t have faith enough for this, but I have, my faith will never fail, and it will encircle your faith, so yours will not fail.” In that moment His faith quickened mine so that I could believe, and I see the secret of faith. I arose from my knees and left the back bedroom a different way from which I had entered. I now understood that there comes a point in intercession where words are left behind. Where the person himself becomes the prayer he is making, and words as such are unnecessary. I found this well in a desert time of my life, and today I still draw strength from those living waters. It is the reason I can spiritually “run without being weary and walk without fainting.” Pilgrimage to the Promised Land, Gipsie Miller, p. 72

I am currently 12 years deep in waiting on a promise to be fulfilled, and 2 ½ years deep on another one. One is extremely emotional for me while the other is very important for our future. I feel I have prayed all the prayers, claimed all the promises, stood on complete faith but still the promises are unrealized. Hannah and Grandmother’s anguished pleas strike a chord deep in my heart this morning. Their raw emotional requests of God seem too familiar. How my heart breaks for them…for me…and for you. Our lives hauntingly echo their lives when we have prayed for years to receive something…our pleas hauntingly echo their pleas of ‘remember and not forget me.’

It is easy to feel like God has forgotten us when the years tick off the calendar and our promises are still in theory, not in reality. We must be like Hannah and Grandmother who fully understood that God doesn’t tire from our prayers but invites them. Not only have we not been forgotten, but He has equipped us for this journey. It is through these pleas that His faith encircles our faith and carries us until the design of the promise has been fully conceived. God hasn’t forgotten your loved ones…He hasn’t forgotten your broken marriage…He remembers that you need that job…want that partner…desire that final outcome. When we can’t speak the words anymore we have the Guide who lifts our words for us. We can rest in that truth that even when there are no new words to lift the Holy Spirit never runs out of words.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26

Scars to Beauty Marks

"Then he said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.'” John 20:27

When I was 6 years old I was required to have surgery to repair a blocked area leading to my kidneys. I stayed in the hospital for a week and the recovery was slow and painful. The scar wrapped around my little waist and is still very prominent 50 years later. But when I look at that scar bad memories don’t come to mind because I had a great time in the hospital being fussed over and spoiled. I’m sure I had incredibly painful days after surgery but the things I remember included the fun I had in the hospital and the absence of severe stomach aches. Fast forward 9 years to a time when I had a bad knee. At 15 my knee would pop out of its joint causing tons of pain. Eventually the cartilage in my knee completely tore in half requiring immediate surgery. That recovery was a very slow and limiting time when all I wanted was to be normal like the other kids. After my knee completely healed it was better than it had been in years. All the pain and suffering that the surgery created was temporary but the benefits were long lasting. I used to teach Sunday School to 5-year-old's and one day this little child came up and said, ‘Mrs. Emmons…you have a run in your hose.’ I thought that was hilarious and realized that was exactly what my scar looked like.

Scars…they are interesting things. They all have a story to tell but many times we silence them by hiding them. So many people have scars that are visible but there are also scars of the heart. Just like our physical scars they tell a story of loss, pain and suffering. They represent the afterlife of messy, broken and fractured circumstances that we have endured. Scars can be ugly and unsightly, but scars can also tell a beautiful story of health, new life and redemption. One of the first things Jesus did as Savior was point out His scars. Those scars boasted of incredible trauma to His body, but beautiful afterlife to His spirit. He brought attention to the individual scars that marked what had been done to Him. God gave Jesus a resurrected body and could have made the scars disappear… after-all, He is God. Lisa Harper, author of Job - A Story of Unlikely Joy suggests that God sees our scars as beauty marks. I feel that God chose to leave those scars on Jesus’s body, because He saw the beauty in what His son did for us. Beauty that through His scars we are healed. Beauty that through His scars we are forgiven. Undeserving scars that ushers us into the arms of our loved ones in eternity. Scars that invite us to live with Him in Heaven one day.

We must also use our scars as stories of deliverance and healing. Some of us might have scars of grief where we have had to say our temporal goodbyes to those we loved most. Some of us might have scars of a prodigal child who in our minds died a million times. Some of us might have scars of betrayal from the very people who should have loved us…could have cared about us…but didn’t. Whatever our scars are…however we obtained them…we’ve earned them because we went through the pain. Lisa also writes, ‘The older I get, the more convinced I am that admittedly flawed {scarred} sinners are the most credible witnesses of the gospel.’ P. 70.

‘On the last day, Jesus will look us over not for medals, diplomas, or honors, but for scars.’ Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning, p. 48.

Dancing Shadows

“So, I have been allotted months…And wearisome nights have been appointed to me. When I lie down, I say, ‘When shall I arise, and the night be ended? How long?’” Job 7:3-4, 19

Most people are pretty good at managing a crisis in the beginning. We set our minds on survival and devise a plan to move forward when something forces itself into our lives. But what happens when days drift into months, and months melt into years? What do we do with the realization that relief still hasn’t come after so many years? How do we hold on to our faith when we all we want to do is hold on to our pillows and disengage with life? Most importantly, how do we continue to believe in His promises when so many go unfulfilled? ‘When shall I arise, and the night be ended?’

For whatever reason, my seasons of suffering tend to be ‘many allotted months’ that mark off many years. Even now I arise each morning with a clear realization that yesterday was not the day when the night ended. Even now I know that the night still boasts that work is not on our horizon. Even now the night with its dancing shadows reminds me that morning has not yet come. I wonder this morning what your allotted months look like that keep you up at night. Is it the phone that doesn’t ring from the loved one you desperately desire to hear from? Is it the email that never comes bringing good news of resolution? Is it the loneliness of wanting a partner with whom to share your life, or the realization that your partner is distant? Could your night be seeing life drain out of a loved one who is soon destined for Heaven?

Or could it be that we lift our eyes to Jesus, and turn our hearts towards remembrance? “But then I recall all you have done, O LORD; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.” Psalm 77:11. ‘I remember the day Bruce said, ‘I do’ and the sweet life I’ve had with him. I remember seeing the little eyes of my new born babies meet mine for the first time. I remember the day you saved our daughter’s life from imminent death. I'll never forget the tender mercies you gave our hearts when our marriage was facing tough times. I recall Lord how you brought us work after another season of unemployment. I recall the sustaining grace you provided as we accepted life without our loved ones.’

Soothing balm for the soul while we wait...Comforting shadows of remembrance when God was faithful and kept every promise. These are the shadows that I want to dance with during the dark of the night. The shadows that tenderly remind me that night can’t last forever, and the daylight will come. The shadow that takes my hand and reminds me that God has done it once, and He will do it again!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

Seasoned With Salt

“Your memorable saying are proverbs of ash” Job 13:12. “If you were in my place I could also talk like you. I could string words together against you and shake my head at you.” Job 16:2-5

Navigating the waters of grief in another person’s life are dicey and dangerous to say the least. Years ago, I facilitated Griefshare, and was continuously amazed at the insensitive words people would say to our participants after losing their loved one. The insensitive ‘string of words’ that tumbled from their mouth were astonishing and embarrassing. Many times, people would use Bible verses as platitudes that only stung and wounded such as well, ‘the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away’ Job 1:21. Other times, it would be empty statements like ‘Heaven needed another angel’ which is fine unless it’s your loved one. When my young daughter was living an unhealthy life separated from us someone very close to me actually said that maybe if we would just love her more everything would be okay…all examples of ‘proverbs of ash.’

I know that people are well-intended but unless we have walked in their shoes our futile words can be like a little ember that sparks a fire in their soul. ‘How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire…And the tongue is a fire...’ James 3:5-6. Before my dad transitioned to his final home I had ‘head sympathy’ when someone told me their dad had died. But when I went through my own journey with my dad I more fully understood the pain of what others experienced. I received their experience of saying goodbye intellectually, but after kissing my dad goodbye for the last time I began receiving the experience of others emotionally and heart-fully. Brennan Manning, author of Ruthless Trust writes, ‘Only someone who has been there, who has drunk the dregs of our cup of pain, who has experienced the loneliness and alienation of the human condition…only that witness is credible; only that love is believable.’ pp 44-45

One of the greatest gifts we can ever offer a grieving heart is Colossians 4:6 as a prayer before we attempt to comfort and encourage them. ‘Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.’

May we be people who season with salt today and every day in a world of hurting people.

Uniquely Created

“Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water?” James 3:11

I remember after my daughter returned to physical and emotional health it was surprising how many people God sent my way to counsel. It seemed that the tide had turned, and parents were bringing their children’s addiction out into public. They wanted help…they wanted encouragement…they wanted answers. Years ago, a friend approached me after church and began sharing her heart about her son who was trying to get off drugs. I listened but became impatiently aware that in my opinion she was enabling her son. He was 21, still living at home, and involved in drugs. I remember blurting out that she just needed to administer tough love and ask him to leave. You see, it was our experience with our situation that might have led to a positive outcome, so I arrogantly determined she should do the same thing. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and gave me a serious medical condition he had that complicated my judgmental answer. So, this morning I can answer the question James asked…yes, the fountain can send out both fresh and bitter water. It was at that point the Holy Spirit convicted me of one of the most important lessons of counsel. Just because something resulted in a positive outcome for me doesn’t give me permission to stamp that decision on another. By interjecting our judgment and arrogance into the suffering of another is like wounds by friendly fire. We must share our experiences and give the Holy Spirit license to guide them in the manner God has for their situation.

I’m sure that my earlier experiences of comfort left people feeling like Job, ‘Miserable comforters are you!’ Job 16:2. When I try to encourage others now I always ask God to help them grasp what He wanted to say to them and release every other word I speak. I try to do more listening these days and just be in the moment. I understand more clearly that what I am to give as an 'encourager' is what I would like to receive as a sufferer…a listening ear…a tender smile…a nodding spirit…a comforting touch. I try to measure my words and actions against the example Christ gave but fall short most times. The older I get the more I realize that one of our greatest gifts to another is the affirming silence that their suffering is real…their experience is their own…and that God alone always has the answer.

God never meant for us to be spiritual twins. He has chosen very different paths for very different purposes. We were each individually created in the image of God…the image God predetermined for us…the image that is far from the duplication of another. I pray that each of us gives the tender mercies today that we would love to receive from another. Love that doesn’t demand its own way… love that doesn’t tear down…love that encourages and offers hope...love that is unique.

When the Journey is Too Much

“‘I have had enough, LORD…Take my life.’ Then he lay down…and fell asleep. Suddenly an angel…said, ‘Get up and eat.’ A second time the angel returned…saying, ‘Get up and eat, or the journey will be too much for you.’ There Elijah entered a cave…And the…LORD came to him saying, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah? Go out and stand’…And a great and mighty wind tore into the mountains and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.… After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” 1 Kings 19:5-12

Elijah, one of God’s prophets, found himself exhausted, overwhelmed and fighting for his life from a queen who vowed to have him executed. He ran as far away as he possibly could to save his life. We read that 2 different times he fell asleep only to be awakened by a messenger whom God sent to strengthen his journey. From nap to nap, strength to strength he finally took refuge in the loneliness of a cave. Then God asked him the same thing that He asks you and He asks me when we retreat from life ‘What are doing here?’

Is it just me or do you seem to sleep more, eat less and retreat when life is overwhelming …exhausting…unstable as to what the future holds? When we find ourselves so frazzled from our fragmented and shattered circumstances do we even recognize when God sends messengers to strengthen us and encourage us? Do we focus on the ‘wind’ that tore into our lives and shattered the safe places in our hearts? I have a feeling that you, like me, have had plenty of times where the foundation has quaked and shaken, and the future seemed to be a burned-out wasteland. What do we do when the journey seems too much? How do we not only have the courage to come ‘out of the cave’ but look past the wind…the earthquake…and the fire? The same way Elijah did. We exchange the dark of the cave for the light of the Lord by seeking Him. We block out the noise of our circumstances and listen for the gentle whisper of the God over our circumstances. We create gardens of hope instead of tombs of despair. 

When we need to be strengthened we enter the Garden of God and walk among the beauty inside the garden walls. There is a song that I play when I am feeling burdened for my friends going through tough journeys. It invites me to walk with Him in the garden where ‘Faith is rising up like ivy…Reaching for the light…Hope is stirring deep inside me…Making all things right.’ The Garden, Kari Jobe. It helps me remember that no matter who is experiencing the wind, earthquakes or fires of life, it is the Whisperer who holds our lives in His hands. I encourage you to listen to this beautiful song and exchange caves for gardens.

https://youtu.be/Y43Z0WJLDS4

No Guts...No Glory

Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.’ ‘You don’t know what you are asking,’ Jesus said.  ‘Can you drink the cup I drink’ Mark 10:37-38.

The disciples had walked many roads together with their Teacher, and had shared such amazing intimacy with Jesus.  They witnessed miracles together and grew in love, respect and reverence for their precious friend.  As their loyalty and commitment grew so did their desire to join Jesus on every level.  But Jesus knew the state of their hearts…they wanted the glam without the gore…the glory without the guts. 

We are so much like the disciples as we grow in our own spiritual lives.  We move closer to God and pursue deeper intimacy with Him.  We praise and worship with one set of lips and fear future suffering with the other set of lips.  We want to reign with Him but He knows the desire of our hearts will never be drinking the cup He drinks…we don’t want bad things to come into our life.  We are no better than the disciples who wanted to sit at His side but walked away as He hung on the cross.  We say we want more of Jesus but pray to God that nothing bad ever happens to us.  Like the disciples we really have divided hearts and minds about reigning with Jesus.  Our spirit tells us we want to walk right beside Him but our flesh tells us to take cover and hide.  Our spirit tells us we want to live abandoned for Him but our flesh reminds us of what it is like to feel pain.  Our spirit tells us that were destined for some suffering with Him but our flesh tells us we deserve comfort.

 

For goodness sake, we can’t even survive inconvenience must less discomfort and God forbid suffering!  If we are to reign with Christ for the kingdom of God we MUST SETTLE in our hearts that we will experience pain and suffering up ahead...toughs time are in our future.  Until we settle this truth deep in our spiritual veins we will always reserve a portion of ourselves from God.  We will never live abandoned without the knowledge and expectation of future discomfort.  When we live and move in the changing seasons of our lives, we get into the spiritual rhythm of life as God intended.  It is in the deep valleys that the invisibility of God becomes the visible manifestation of His presence, a glorious deposit of what our spiritual inheritance in eternity will be. 

Oh God, give us courage and the boldness to pursue You on every level on earth as we will experience in Heaven.  Amen.

Our Darkest Day

“There was a moment when the lights went out…when death had claimed its victory…the King of love had given up His life…the darkest day in history…One final breath and it was finished…but not the end we could’ve known. For the earth began to shake…as the heavens roared. There was a moment when the sky lit up…a flash of Light breaking through…when all was lost He crossed eternity…the King of Life was on the move.” All Hail King Jesus, Jeremy Riddle

They were in disbelief. In their dark homes they knew something had just occurred because the sky was pitch black in the middle of the day. How on earth could this have happened? Why didn’t they see it coming? How could they have abandoned Him? They thought they had more time with Him. They thought they would reign with Him. They thought there would be more memories made with Him. Never in their darkest dreams could they ever have known it would end like this. But, in retrospect they realized that Jesus did tell them. ‘In a little while, the world will see Me no more’ John 14:19. As a matter of fact as the sky began to give way to light everything became clear. Christ had done the very thing that He told them He would do. Like the song says above, the moment the sky lit up, the King was on the move. They remembered that He promised to come back for them after He arranged things for them. ‘And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am.’ John 14:3. They tried to recall every word He had told them about this event. And then there He was…standing among them…fulfilling every single prophesy ever made about the Savior. He had fully kept His promise even though they had not. That is the King of Love.

Although this was a couple thousand years ago I can’t help but wonder if you are going through your ‘darkest day in history.’ I am thinking how this life provides the backdrop of pitch black noon days and the foundation of our lives shaking. No one escapes the long reaching fingers of pain on this earth, but we do have the same good news that the heartbroken disciples had in that dark room. We have the knowledge that sin and illness have been defeated and that eternity won. We have His promises that whatever we face the King of love will be enough. We may not feel Jesus or see Him in our valley, but He is on the move. We might not see any resolution to our suffering, but He is arranging things for each of us that are good and beautiful. He is orchestrating the details of our lives to reconcile our pain. He is commanding angels to watch over us as and protect us. He has sent the Counselor to dwell within us to comfort and encourage us. His promises are just as true as they were to His followers. He promises that whatever we are facing we can be over-comers in Him. He tells us that not even one day will He leave our side. He assures us that we can bring our weary and demolished souls to Him for nourishment and rest. I’m so grateful that when I see nothing happening in my desires I can be confident He is on the move. I’m so thankful that thousands of years ago the Light broke through the darkness once and for all. I can breathe a little easier for my friends going through extremely tough times knowing that the skies are filled with the presence of the King and His angels who are watching over us at all times.

Weary of our Woes

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone…Rejoice, and men will seek you; Grieve, and they turn and go. They want full measure of all your pleasure, but they do not want your woe.” Solitude, Ella Wheeler Wilcox

When I was knee deep in despair during one of my children’s prodigal times each passing week seemed to usher in less phone calls, fewer lunches and awkward conversations when running into friends and acquaintances. I found myself barricading my life in my home, wanting ‘to avoid the eyes who screamed pity, and the overheard whispers from many.’ I completely understood it, but it compounded my grief. My painful season went for 9 years, with an ebb and flow that went between forced smiles and downright despair. I am confident others became weary of my woes!

Humanity was never meant to solely carry our burden of grief. We are neither equipped for the long haul, nor meant to mend the brokenhearted. We must take the depth of our suffering and lay it at the throne of the One who can actually heal our hearts…restore our lives…resurrect our situations. God knew exactly what He was doing when He included question after question, allegation upon allegation in the Bible from suffering people. David cried to Him during his deep despair. ‘Why do you hide in times of trouble, O LORD?’ Psalm 10:1. Habakkuk pleaded with God while waiting for deliverance for his people. “O LORD, how long shall I cry, and You will not hear…and You will not save?” Habakkuk 1:2. God is the only one who can take our questions, and He can handle our pain and suffering. The Old Testament is full of grieving hearts who were brave enough to approach God in complete honesty. I don't remember the exact quote from Zig Ziglar in Confessions of a Grieving Christian, but the jest of it was 'God cannot heal what you do not take to Him.'

It takes courage to speak our honesty and disappointment to God. It takes faith to know that He will still love us. It takes time and patience to watch Him work out every detail with wisdom, love and faithfulness.

This Terrible Place

“‘Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place?’ It has no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates. And there is no water to drink!” Numbers 20:5

Moses had his work cut out for him trying to appease the complaints of a grumbling crowd of people in the wilderness. Their hearts of celebration from being rescued quickly changed to an attitude of consolation. They found themselves in a wilderness they could not have anticipated, a set of circumstances that was far from celebration. Their ‘delivered to’ seemed to be worse than their ‘delivered from.’ One of the primary reasons God brought them into the wilderness was to reveal to them the reality of what was going on in Egypt and how they were being treated. God in His great love for them delivered them from a set of circumstances where they were second class citizens. God chose and created them to be more than second…they were created to be His first love. God could see every single act done against the children He loved, and finally had seen enough. Sometimes God’s greatest act of grace and mercy is the very thing for which we most question His goodness and character.

There have certainly been times in my life when God has revealed a set of circumstances that felt more like a consolation prize instead of a celebration. Heartbreaking times when I had to walk out a season where someone else made decisions that left my heart parched. Those times forced me to look for water to quench my thirst…to find my relief…to stabilize my suffering. Oh, there were plenty of bodies of water from which to drink but they were far from beneficial. One of the greatest pools that beckoned me to come and drink were the bitter waters. Many times, I knelt at the water’s edge, cupping my hands and raising them to my lips. Time and time again, I was reminded how futile and tasteless it was, but I kept going back. I saw my reflection in those waters, and what I didn't like what I saw. Finally, one day I set my eyes on Jesus who was my healing. Until I measured my misery against the backdrop of the cross everything seemed hopeless. But once I involved Christ into my set of circumstances the water became a little sweeter…a little more bearable…a little more tolerable. “When they came to Marah, they could not drink the water… because it was bitter…and the LORD showed him a log, and he threw it into the water, and the water became sweet. I am the LORD, your healer” Exodus 15:23-26. Our log…the empty cross is the only thing we can apply that will make our circumstances sweeter. The empty cross tells a story of hope, reconciliation and resurrection. The empty cross is our guarantee that all things are possible in Christ, and sin and death have no real power.

I’m encouraged for this truth for my friends who have a parched heart and find themselves in the wilderness for now. I’m confident that God will show them that they are His first love, and He will not allow them to settle for anything less. I’m staking my claim for these guarantees because of an empty cross on a faraway hill.

Let the Worshipers Arise

“…so, the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart” … ‘but I said to the king, “Why should my face not look sad when the city...lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed…?” Nehemiah 2:2-3.

I can remember it like it was yesterday...sitting at my daddy's funeral. I glanced around and saw my mother as she was absorbing every word of the pastor as he recounted my dad’s life. I was overcome with sadness for her and wondered how life would be especially for her without him. The loneliness…the empty mornings...the quiet nights. I had such a deep sadness of heart for her. As beautifully as the preacher spoke, I still felt like our family lay in ruins…the leader was missing…the family fragmented. But God never allows our hearts to hurt more than we can handle. At that moment the recessional began and I stood up thinking a million ‘how’ questions regarding our future as I was turning to walk down the aisle. As I looked up and began moving, God answered a million hows with one answer. I exited the worship center looking back and forth from my left to my right. The 'hows' were standing as we were walking out. God's 'how' included my beautiful friends and family from long ago to now, and every time in between. Their faces expressed their love and faithfulness to us. As they stood for us the words of the song became the comfort of the Father. It was a beautiful reminder that God’s presence and comfort lives in those who stand with us and beside us. It was a much-needed reminder that His compassion would be shown in the hearts of those who would be there after the funeral. It was His answer to my prayer and my plea.

I don’t know what sadness of heart each of you are facing today, but I do know that if you lift your face, and search for God on the horizon He will be faithful. You will hear Him in a song that speaks to your hurt and comforts your heart. You will see Him in a sunrise as a reminder that a new day is coming. You will consider His kindness as you witness His sunset, marking off one less day in your suffering. You will feel His gentle Spirit in a breeze on your face. You will see the sons and daughters rise to lift you up. These are all the graces of God when we hurt. Sure, we’re looking for a miracle in our circumstances, but what if a miracle is made up of a million miracles of God’s touches that brought you through your season of suffering? I will leave you with the words of that beautiful song God sang over me as we walked out of the worship center.

“Father, I see that you were drawing a line in the sand, I want to be standing on your side holding your hand. I want your kingdom to come and live in me, this is my prayer, this is my plea…Let the worshipers arise, let the sons and the daughters sing, I’m surrendering my all Lord, I surrender to the King.’ Phillips, Craig & Dean, Let the Worshipers Arise

Quite Safe

“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion." "Ooh" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he - quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion"..."Safe?" said Mr. Beaver ... "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

When I read this today I immediately thought of several precious people who are going through devastating things in their lives. We have lived long enough for each of us to understand that this world is full of sin and inequities. We each have received a phone call, a text, or had a discussion where the news shattered our hearts. What do we do when this world draws a line in our spiritual sand creating a division of life before and life after. The tension of living in the 'in between' is the messy, scary, heartbreaking journey that leads us to the other side. It is where we must make a decision where God is safe enough to trust with our emotions and outcome. We enter our circumstances one person only to come out a different person. Who we surround ourselves with during these times will determine how we will respond and who we will become.

Honestly, there have been times when things drove me to my knees that made me wonder if it was safe to trust God. To trust that He was good, I had to admit that things would probably feel ‘unsafe’ for a while. I had to trust that who He claims to be is unchangeable even if my circumstances were changing at rapid speed. I had to trust that His promises were true. He will not leave me – He didn’t. He will turn evil to good – He did. He will be with me in my times of trouble – He was. I have found even when it didn’t feel safe, He was ‘quite safe.’ Not only was He safe, but He was King over every heartbreak, over every impossible situation and over every season. We can’t control our circumstances which are sometimes brought on by our rebellion or the rebellion of others. We can control with whom we will spend our time during the ‘was and the is.’ God will shoulder our burden if we place it on His back, and will reconcile things that we have no clue how to reconcile. It is our responsibility to believe that He IS safe…He is good…He is the King.

Beautifully Over Our Head

“Those who try to gain their own life will lose it; but those who lose their life for my sake will gain it.” Matthew 10:39

When I was a teenager I felt awkward and insecure on the inside. I’m not sure how I appeared on the outside, but insecurity paints a broad brushstroke across every part of our lives. More than a few of my friends were on the swim team and swam like fish. I would go to the local pool some and watch them practice, and always cheer them on during swim meets. But secretly on the inside I wished that I was a good swimmer, but the reality was different. On one occasion, we were at Springs Park which had a massive swimming pool with very high diving boards. Jump after jump I watched my sweet friends plummet to the water. One day they encouraged me to climb to the highest and jump. I don’t know what I was thinking but caved in to pressure and there I stood at the top terrified and lonely. As I sit here typing this I have butterflies in my stomach remembering the fear. I glanced down and saw my friends looking up to the sky cheering me on. I knew in my heart that I would end up climbing back down the tall diving board steps…shamed… disappointed…disillusioned...embarrassed. My friends were so sweet to try to encourage me, but in my heart, I knew I had failed.

I draw a parallel to this experience when thinking about how little faith I had years ago. My Christian life was nothing more than moving to the edge and pretending I would jump. I’ve stood atop the Living Waters longing to jump in but never quite made the move. Finally, God came and gave me a nudge, and I began to fall. I didn’t even know I was falling but one day I realized I was breathing under water. I realized that I finally made the jump and quit worrying about the things that distracted me from being where I was created to be. There is a beautiful song that just washes over my heart about letting go of control and being over our heads in the beautiful waters of God.

I know that I am not the only one who has felt like life was out of control. I’m not alone in always looking over my shoulder for more than what this chaotic life offers. I certainly wish that I would have jumped earlier because I could have had more peace…more comfort…more joy. He was at the bottom of my jump with His arms open wide to teach me to love more fully, to serve more selflessly and to swim in greater waters. This divine Lifeguard is looking up at the edge beckoning you to jump in courage. He will take you under and show you how to live in waters over your head.

Steady Until Sunset

"But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.” Exodus 17:12

Tucked in Exodus 17 is a beautiful story about Moses in his later years. A battle was upon his people and Moses went to the top of a hill, raised his arms, and held them high as an appeal to God as an ongoing request for victory. As long as he pointed his palms to heaven his army was succeeding, but when he lowered them the Amalekites began gaining strength. The next part of the story is so tender…so precious…so exemplary. Aaron was the brother of Moses and Hur was a companion to both. As they looked to Moses at some point what they saw must have entreated them to help. Scripture states that they found a stone and placed it beneath him as a seat for him to rest. Then each one held up one of Moses’ arms to position the battle for victory. What did they see as they looked upon this strong leader that made their hearts feel for him? Were his arms quivering as he pointed them to heaven? Could he barely hold his head up knowing so much more battle had to be fought? Were his legs about to buckle beneath him? Whatever these caring men witnessed, what was important is that they came along side him to help him in the battle.

I have two sisters remaining on earth with me and one in heaven. When our sister Beth was diagnosed with cancer it was a brutal 11-month battle. But Beth has always been one with a spirit for fight and this one was no different. Our little band of sisters were stronger by watching her strength. We were hopeful by witnessing her hope. We were inspired by watching her rise above the constant pain and squeeze every drop of living out of a situation losing its pulse. As the cancer spread her body weakened but she continued to press into God. She continued to lift her arms and claim healing even when her body was quivering with sickness. Our family took turns ‘holding up her arms’ as we alternately spent nights at the Hospice House. There were days when we needed each other to hold our arms up as we held up hers. It was heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time…messy and meaningful…chaotic and glorious. Over and over again we saw Jesus in the midst of the battle. Jesus walked the hallways of the Hospice House, and joined us in our family prayers at her bedside. As her body weakened her spirit gained strength. We could see that the battle would soon be over and that Heaven would offer her the spoils of war. Spoils that earth could never offer…beauty that this world does not possess...no more fight...no more despair...no more pain.

I am sure that you have held up the arms of another during their battle. I pray that you have a few people who are holding up your arms during your season of fight. God sends His people to nurture us…comfort us…carry us. I’m so grateful for this story that shows us the tenderness and treasure of loved family and friends whom God has placed in our lives. The blessing of those who will help us remain steady until our sunsets.

Reckless Love

“If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them gets lost, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountain and go in search of the one that is lost?” Matthew 18:12

When our children were very young we were at the beach with some friends. It had been a wonderful day and the weather was beautiful. I had taken the older children up to the rented house, while Bruce remained down at the beach with our 4-year-old daughter, Caroline. I remember Bruce telling the story that he took his eyes off her for a minute and looked up to find her gone. He scanned the beach and saw her running down the water’s edge chasing birds. He quickly ran towards her as she ran away from him. Not much time passed when he caught up with her and scooped her up. They returned to the house and joined the rest of us.

This morning I was listening to a beautiful song by Cory Asbury, Reckless Love. It is a gorgeous hypnotic song that lures us in to a similar snapshot of walking away. It is a story of the little sheep that wanders away, and the loving shepherd that chases it down, scoops it up and returns it to the other 99 sheep. I began thinking of different times in my life when unintentionally I found myself all alone. I wasn’t even aware I was lost. I didn’t mean to wander off from the others, but life engulfed me with responsibilities, obligations, distractions and the overwhelming needs of others. But in 2006, I glanced up from the chaos and realized I was the one who had left the 99. It wasn’t long before God appeared at the water’s edge motioning me to lay down the chaos and join Him in the calm. He longed to give me what I longed for most…rest…intimacy…rescue… true purpose in Him.

Are you the little child at the water’s edge who hasn’t even realized until now that the things you have been chasing are leading you away from the contentment and joy that can only be found in the arms of Jesus? Have you found yourself exhausted…overwhelmed…unimpressed with the life you have designed? Have you chased unhealthy habits to cope? I have chased so many things in my life that once caught were meaningless…empty…unable to satisfy. There are still many things on my heart that requires God’s gentle touch but I’m thankful that I am back in the fold. There is plenty of room for everyone to come home, and the Shepherd’s arms extend far and wide. What are you waiting for? The 99 are waiting for you to come back.

“There's no shadow you won't light up, mountain you won't climb up coming after me...there's no wall you won't kick down, lie you won't tear down coming after me...oh the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God. Oh, it chases me down, fights till I'm found, leaves the 99." Reckless Love

Back Flips and Cartwheels

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Tim 6:6

My granddaughter Kherington opens her eyes each morning and hits the floor running. She is a little spirit that runs about wildly, heart wide open and squeezes every ounce there is to squeeze out of life. She works hard, she plays hard, she studies hard and plans hard. She is my sweet treat who ‘goes hard in the paint!’ She seems to me to always be content in whatever is before her. She tries to make the best of every situation even when disappointment worms its way into her day. It is rare when I don’t turn to see her feet pointing to heaven as she walks around on her hands. It is very common to have a conversation with her as she is doing back flips. I have to maneuver between cartwheels and splits. But at the end of the day, she also crashes because she has sought things during the day that has satisfied her heart.

I took this picture last month when the grands were with us for 8 days. This morning as my Bible study continued to speak about contentment this picture came to mind. ‘The word rendered content reminds me of a tired and exhausted child who finally falls asleep in the arms of her mother, or on the softness of her pillow. Satisfied. No longer restless. No longer disquieted.’ What Matters Most, Karen Ehman, p. 151.

Each of us will choose daily pursuits which will culminate in discontent or great satisfaction. The Bible gives us the answer before we even ask the question regarding contentment. When we seek the things of God and develop an intimate relationship with Him everything else flows from that relationship. Contentment in its purest form is the fruit that grows from our pursuit of God. Nothing on this earth was created to compete with God and His beautiful promises of peace and purpose. When we sincerely and completely trust God, we can be content in all circumstances knowing that God will supply every need in every situation. Whatever you lack today, God will provide. Whatever our hearts dream, God fully knows. Whatever we pursue will be what we eventually find, so may we all seek the One who longs to be found.

‘The secret to being content is an eternal mind-set; a thought process that realizes all the trinkets and treasures and the possessions and positions here on earth are temporary. The only thing that lasts is our position in Christ and His Spirit living in us.’ What Matters Most, p. 151.

Must Be Nice

“I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

This is one of the most well-known verses in the Bible partly because it is quoted so much, but also because it reminds us of the power of Christ. But until this morning I didn’t realize the position it held in Scripture, and the context to which it was referring. It is more of a ‘drop the mike’ moment instead of a ‘magic bullet for all of life’s situations.’ Paul had just written a letter to the Philippians explaining the learned practice of contentment. So, when he ended the paragraph regarding the different seasons he had lived out, Philippians 4:13 was more of a period to the paragraph. No need for another thought except that only in and through Christ we can experience true contentment.

One of the greatest barriers to contentment is comparison. Comparison to another person’s life will always chip away at our contentment. It used to be we would only have these ‘must be nice’ moments when we would go to school…to work…to church. But because of social media we have 24/7 access to compare our lives to others. Must be nice …to have that spouse…to have that job…to travel to those places…to have those clothes…to live in that place...to have those children. I don’t have enough strength in my fingers to type all my secret ‘must be nice’ thoughts. But these thoughts that are shared by all people are the natural bend of humanity. ‘Generations of people have struggled with letting comparisons kill their contentment.’ What Matters Most, Karen Ehman, p. 148. Paul explained that ‘everywhere and in all things, he learned both to be full and to be hungry…he learned to succeed and to suffer many needs’ (v.12). He learned to be content in whatever state he was in. We must train ourselves how to be satisfied with where we live, what we have and what we are doing in each season. This training comes as a result of spending time with Christ, and allowing Him to work in and through the season we are in. Our circumstances are not unknown to God. He not only has a plan and purpose for each season, but a great plan. There is great work being done in the set of circumstances we find ourselves in today. If we must compare and try to imitate, let us imitate those who patiently waited on the Lord.

"Let us not grow weary while doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not lose heart." Gal 6:9

Eating Dessert First

“Then his wife said to him… ‘Are you still holding on…’? But he said to her, ‘Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?’” Job 2:9-10

Being born into a loving Christian family I knew nothing about suffering and everything about love. I knew great truths about God’s goodness and faithfulness through the example and testimonies of my grandparents and parents. I believe deep down in my heart even as a child I was aware that I had received something glorious through my birth without having to earn it. This consideration was highlighted this morning in my Bible study as Lisa Harper described the dilemma of receiving and expecting only good things from God. She writes, ‘Accepting only the good from God is like eating dessert first.’ She goes on to say that when we learn to accept everything, (the yucky vegetables and the bitter medicines), that sifts through the sovereign hands of God, only then will we understand the joy in all times that serves as God’s inextinguishable pilot light.

I remember as a young adult when the world began chipping away at my protective kingdom, I thought it was strange and began wondering if ‘I had eaten all the dessert up front’ that was intended for me. Was my life going to become a string of vegetable plates and forced food? Looking back, I believe I began a life pursuit of trying to earn back dessert. I have finally learned that contrary to the question above that Job’s wife inquired, that to accept the adversity along with the good IS my 'still holding on'. By holding on to God’s promises I know that my adversity will produce gain one day. By holding on to God’s faithfulness He will build a heart in me of complete trust. By holding on to God for dear life during the times of anguish He will show me how to help others hold on.

I pose that question to you this morning. Are you still holding on? Are you holding on to the hope of a new relationship…a new job…newly restored health? Can you testify to the acceptance of God’s good and perfect blessings, but also embrace the adversity life forces upon us interrupting our calm seasons? We cannot hold on to the bitterness, nor can we hold on to hopelessness, for these are the things that extinguish any joy we find in God. The Bible is clear about two things: ‘To whom much is given, much will be required’ (Luke 12:48.)" "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33). And these verses are the real desserts in our lives. We have been given much, and God desires us to use what He has given to further His Kingdom and proclaim His glory. It’s what we were created to do. Whether we’ve had easy lives or challenging lives, we all have been given the same ‘much' in Christ. When we feast on Christ…eating dessert first…than we can eat the rest of the meal served to us with joy and satisfaction.

Charging God with Wrong

"Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped…In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.” Job 1:20, 22

I have just finished listening to the first session of my new Bible study written by Lisa Harper, Job – A Story of Unlikely Joy. I have so much to process just from this morning and my heart feels a little raw. I know this study will be emotional for me and for you because we have all had our hearts broken…our dreams dashed…traumatic lines drawn in the sand that will never be erased. Lisa ended this session conducting an interview with a woman named Sarah Cantrell. Sarah had always wanted a set of twins from the time she was a little girl to the time she conceived. Surely enough God gave her the heart’s desire of her life, and the day had arrived. Sarah had a 5-year-old daughter who was at home anticipating the arrival and introduction of her new brothers. Meanwhile, at the hospital the lives of the twins dwindled quickly during the first day and the parents were forced to prepare funerals instead of bottles. Their little 5-year-old was sitting barefoot and excited on the front porch as the car pulled up. As Sarah and her husband emerged empty-armed, the little girl asked where her brothers were. Sarah bent down and said, ‘Some babies God just wants to keep in Heaven.’ At this moment the little girl put her hands over her heart and said, ‘…and Mommy, he picked you?!’

Many years ago, when I had a Job season my question to God was more ‘How could you pick us for all this suffering.’ Through much anguish, contemplation and heartbreak I finally heard in my Spirit, ‘Why not your family with the faith to exemplify.’ It’s amazing that sometimes we think the worst of God as He thinks the best of us. I immediately understood that He was mostly referring to my grandparents and parents, who have spanned generations of hearts that pointed to God in difficult circumstances. It was now my generation's turn to walk out legacy. It was a great legacy in which to be born, but a hard legacy to walk out. The interesting thing about legacy is that it is formed in the everyday where days turn into weeks, weeks into years and years into a lifetime. Spiritual legacies are made up of our responses to heartbreaks and healing … questions and comforts…hello’s and goodbye’s.

Oh, to have had this response when God picked me to have a child who would suffer emotionally and physically for 8 years. To have this sense of honor when God picked me to sit by my dad’s side as he took hold of Christ. God picked me and our family to walk our sister home at 42. God picked me to allow complete devastation in my marriage when it was discovered that I secretly spent thousands of dollars. But this morning I also consider how God has picked me in His undeserving blessings. God has picked me to have 3 amazing children who love me and defend me. God has picked me to have an amazing husband who stands by me no matter what. God has picked me to be one of four in a precious community called sisterhood. I was picked by God to have such wonderful parents, grandparents and extended family. I’m so honored to be picked by God to be called Emmy by 3 little hearts who keep me young.

I am sure that you can also consider the ways in which God has picked you. I think we must consider our lives in totality to really see the expansive blessings that God has given us. When we view our lives in segments we can question God’s goodness. But when we view our lives in one overarching rainbow…a beautiful ebb and flow of God’s graces…then we can have a heart like Sarah’s little girl…a heart that says ‘…oh, God picked me!’