Seasoned With Salt

“Your memorable saying are proverbs of ash” Job 13:12. “If you were in my place I could also talk like you. I could string words together against you and shake my head at you.” Job 16:2-5

Navigating the waters of grief in another person’s life are dicey and dangerous to say the least. Years ago, I facilitated Griefshare, and was continuously amazed at the insensitive words people would say to our participants after losing their loved one. The insensitive ‘string of words’ that tumbled from their mouth were astonishing and embarrassing. Many times, people would use Bible verses as platitudes that only stung and wounded such as well, ‘the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away’ Job 1:21. Other times, it would be empty statements like ‘Heaven needed another angel’ which is fine unless it’s your loved one. When my young daughter was living an unhealthy life separated from us someone very close to me actually said that maybe if we would just love her more everything would be okay…all examples of ‘proverbs of ash.’

I know that people are well-intended but unless we have walked in their shoes our futile words can be like a little ember that sparks a fire in their soul. ‘How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire…And the tongue is a fire...’ James 3:5-6. Before my dad transitioned to his final home I had ‘head sympathy’ when someone told me their dad had died. But when I went through my own journey with my dad I more fully understood the pain of what others experienced. I received their experience of saying goodbye intellectually, but after kissing my dad goodbye for the last time I began receiving the experience of others emotionally and heart-fully. Brennan Manning, author of Ruthless Trust writes, ‘Only someone who has been there, who has drunk the dregs of our cup of pain, who has experienced the loneliness and alienation of the human condition…only that witness is credible; only that love is believable.’ pp 44-45

One of the greatest gifts we can ever offer a grieving heart is Colossians 4:6 as a prayer before we attempt to comfort and encourage them. ‘Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.’

May we be people who season with salt today and every day in a world of hurting people.