Beautifully Over Our Head

“Those who try to gain their own life will lose it; but those who lose their life for my sake will gain it.” Matthew 10:39

When I was a teenager I felt awkward and insecure on the inside. I’m not sure how I appeared on the outside, but insecurity paints a broad brushstroke across every part of our lives. More than a few of my friends were on the swim team and swam like fish. I would go to the local pool some and watch them practice, and always cheer them on during swim meets. But secretly on the inside I wished that I was a good swimmer, but the reality was different. On one occasion, we were at Springs Park which had a massive swimming pool with very high diving boards. Jump after jump I watched my sweet friends plummet to the water. One day they encouraged me to climb to the highest and jump. I don’t know what I was thinking but caved in to pressure and there I stood at the top terrified and lonely. As I sit here typing this I have butterflies in my stomach remembering the fear. I glanced down and saw my friends looking up to the sky cheering me on. I knew in my heart that I would end up climbing back down the tall diving board steps…shamed… disappointed…disillusioned...embarrassed. My friends were so sweet to try to encourage me, but in my heart, I knew I had failed.

I draw a parallel to this experience when thinking about how little faith I had years ago. My Christian life was nothing more than moving to the edge and pretending I would jump. I’ve stood atop the Living Waters longing to jump in but never quite made the move. Finally, God came and gave me a nudge, and I began to fall. I didn’t even know I was falling but one day I realized I was breathing under water. I realized that I finally made the jump and quit worrying about the things that distracted me from being where I was created to be. There is a beautiful song that just washes over my heart about letting go of control and being over our heads in the beautiful waters of God.

I know that I am not the only one who has felt like life was out of control. I’m not alone in always looking over my shoulder for more than what this chaotic life offers. I certainly wish that I would have jumped earlier because I could have had more peace…more comfort…more joy. He was at the bottom of my jump with His arms open wide to teach me to love more fully, to serve more selflessly and to swim in greater waters. This divine Lifeguard is looking up at the edge beckoning you to jump in courage. He will take you under and show you how to live in waters over your head.