Could Not He?

“Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind have kept this man from dying?” John 11:37

This is the heart cry of every heart that has ever been broken. It was my heart cry when my sister Beth died at 43. As a family, we had been hopeful…faithful…prayerful. Walking out this painful season seemed like an eternity, but the calendar only showed 11 months from diagnosis to death…cancer to healing…earth to Heaven. I can remember sitting in church a month or so after she passed as the pastor told a story of a miraculous healing of a woman’s cancer. I asked the Lord, 'Why couldn’t she be healed, Lord? Didn’t we have faith more than a mustard seed? Didn’t we tell that mountain to move? Didn’t we believe that you could heal her completely?' ‘COULD NOT HE…’

‘Could not he’ has been on the lips of all of us, and in the heartbreak of hoping for something that God has delayed. Death is the hardest delay of all. We know that death was overcome by Jesus and it will never have the final say over the lives of believers. But we must still handle the space in between the sadness and the reunions. ‘Could not he’ was spoken a million nights from this mother’s cry when my daughter was in her dark season. ‘Could not he’ was present in my heart as my dad and sister slipped into the arms of Jesus. ‘Could not he’ is still on my lips in some of the promises for which I am still waiting God to fulfill.

In the story of Lazarus, Jesus asks Martha a question that breaks through her ‘could not he’ heart, and replaced it with His question. He asked her the same question that He asks us in our delays and disappointments, ‘I AM…Do you believe?’ John 11:25. ‘I AM the one who will restore your marriage. I AM the one who will heal your disease. I AM the one who will bring your prodigal back. I AM the one who will restore your career. I AM the one who will raise your loved ones from the grave. I AM, but will you believe?’ One of the most courageous things we can do is to find faith and hold onto it tightly…faith that the delays won’t despair…faith that disappointments won’t turn into deep discouragement…faith that He can…faith that He will…faith that is certain. We must answer our 'could not He' question with 'yes He can!' During the delay we will experience His fellowship, His comfort and a deepening of our relationship with Him.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; and the certainty of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1.

These Things

“‘I’m going out to fish,’ Simon Peter told them...they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish…When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?’” John 21:3, 6, 15.

To truly understand this beautiful passage, we must put it in prospective of the timeline of events.  This was post traumatic living after watching their best friend, mentor and teacher be brutally killed.  The painful crisis was over, and Jesus Christ had risen just as He told them.  No doubt they were completely worn out from the emotional rollercoaster of following Him…humbled that He was true to His word and lived in a resurrected body...grateful that the painful ordeal was over.  So, what did Peter and some of the disciples do?  They returned to what was comfortable after emotions had settled…hearts had accepted…and things calmed down.  Jesus had to formally ask Peter to express how much he loved Christ?  His question seems to pierce my heart…‘Do you truly love me more than these things?’

These things…haunting words.  How many times have we found ourselves in a crisis that left our minds reeling?  How many prayers have we lifted negotiating with God that if He will move in ‘this way or that way’ we will do ‘this or that’ for Him?  How many of us find ourselves returning to what is comfortable after the crisis is over?  It is human nature to return to the very same thing that keeps us bound in sin instead of making lasting and promised changes to God.  We return to our same habit…casting our nets in the same old areas…hauling in the same results…smelly fish that needs clean up.  Sometimes God allows seasons to enter our lives, setting up the question of devotion to Him.  He sets up circumstances where we must choose between our old life and the new life to which He is calling us.  He forms the question to us…Do you truly love me more than these things?

What are your ‘these things’ that He is asking you to leave behind?  What the ‘these things’ that keep you returning to the prayer of confession?  What are ‘these things’ that continue to over-promise and under-deliver?  We are told to set our hearts and minds on spiritual things and to seek His kingdom first and we will be given everything needed to live a full and abundant life.  We must recognize our old habits and lay them down with His help.  We must exchange our ‘these things’ for His ‘these things.’ A few weeks ago, we discovered that the translation ‘to seek’ is to ‘long for.’  He is the only thing that can satisfy our longings in this world. 

‘But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.’  Matthew 6:33.

My Life As a Sheep

“Therefore Jesus said again, ‘I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep…whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture…I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.’” John 10:7-11.

In my Bible study this morning there was an interesting list of sheep characteristics. ‘Sheep are defenseless animals; sheep are prone to wander off; sheep have poor eyesight; sheep tend to follow other sheep without thinking; sheep are stubborn.’ Finding I Am, Lysa TerKeurst, p. 70. These characteristics also describe each one of us as we do our best to walk out our journey. Satan uses these same characteristics to guide us away from Truth. Life provides challenging circumstances that make us more vulnerable at times. We become like defenseless sheep when we are lonely or tired. We are prone to wander away from time with God when we feel less than satisfied or bitter with our lives. We become blind to God’s purposes and choose poor decisions as we are presented with situations. We are quick to allow our hearts to follow the ways of the world, measuring ourselves against the rest of the pack. Lastly, we have stubborn hearts and really are not motivated to make hard transforming decisions.

But Jesus tells us (again) that life begins and ends with Him. In the times of Jesus, the sheep would be led inside a circular rock wall with thorns at the top of the wall to keep the wolves out. The entrance to the enclosure was an opening with no door. The shepherd would lay across the opening while the sheep slept to protect them. Jesus tells us that He is the gate for His sheep…each one of us. He laid down once for us and because of Him it was enough. He became the Gate…that beautiful entrance to a life of salvation, freedom and contentment. If we are to freely move in the ebb and flow of life, we must stay in the boundaries of our fields. Since we are defenseless, we must linger around the Defender. Since we are prone to wander off, we must stay close to Compass. Since we are blind to many things, we must see things through the Word. Since we tend to measure and balance ourselves against others, we must make Christ our Scales.

We have everything we need to live a full and protected life in Jesus. But we are like sheep and we do have stubborn hearts at times. The great news is that when we wander off, blindly act or pursue the pleasures of the world He will come and gather us up in His arms.

Do Not Disturb

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.” James 4:8.

I remember when my daughter Caroline was 18 years old she had just gone off to college.  She and her boyfriend were on a break, but trying to determine if they had a future together.  I’ll never forget that Super Bowl Sunday when I missed a call from her boyfriend’s mother.  The next call was Caroline, and we finally were able to understand what she was saying.  Her boyfriend had been killed that day in a motorcycle accident and her world crashed around her.  She wouldn’t let me go up to college to get her, so I waited at home for 4 days until she came home for the funeral.  I remember that she was so distant from me, and stayed away from my presence.  She told me later it was because her despair was too raw for us to discuss.  Through protecting her heart and her vulnerable feelings, our fellowship was temporarily interrupted.  Her vulnerability and hidden thoughts created a temporary barrier in our relationship.

This is exactly what happens when we say our prayers to God, avoiding certain areas of our heart.  We hang a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign around the raw and vulnerable places.  We pray with well-intended words like ‘Your will be done…You have a perfect plan…I trust you’ all the while keeping our Father at a safe distance.  We don’t have the courage to say the things we really want to say like ‘Where were you God?’  ‘Where are you God?’ ‘Why did I have to drink this cup all the way down to the dregs?’ 

The dregs…living with a disease…being in a dying marriage…having a prodigal child…having no money to pay the bills…losing a loved one.  I’m not sure what your ‘drinking down to the dregs’ looks like but I know I have been there and will be again.  But, I want God’s truest intimacy and fellowship, so I know I cannot set up barriers.  When I hold back certain areas, my prayers feel flat, and my relationship with God feels distant.  We must approach Him with our disappointments, our disillusions, and our feelings of discouragement.  He already knows anyway, but wants us to bring them all to Him not to judge us, but to minister to us.  Once everything is out on the prayer table, our intimacy with Him will grow and our fellowship will return to its purest form…HONESTY.

“Father, forgive us for not trusting you with our disappointments and past discouragement.  Thank you for loving us enough to allow us to speak, not only from our daily circumstances, but from our most tender and rawest areas.  Hear our vulnerable utterings…heal our vulnerable hearts…help us re-enter into your Presence with uninterrupted fellowship.  In your precious love, Amen.”

A Tidy Little Mess

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17

I was reading the book She Reads Truth this morning, and one of the authors had written a few paragraphs of her theology of the gospel as a young adult. As I read it, I felt like she had been spying on me my entire life. I must share an excerpt from this book which is an excerpt from the pages of my life.

‘I was driven to be good. Determined to find myself approved by anyone and everyone who knew me. And I pulled it off pretty well…I worked hard for approval and succeeded, trusting my goodness to save me. I had nailed it and thoroughly missed it all at once, all the while living in complete and devastating darkness. I was a tidy little mess…I was living and breathing and putting all my eggs in the basket of an almost-gospel. A watered-down, diminished gospel that was really no gospel at all…At some point I asked myself would I really spend the rest of my life making up for where the cross of Jesus left off? I finally realized that Christ died for me…Plus nothing. Moving forward…with a heart of gratitude, I walked in the fullness of a gospel that invited me instead of needed me.’ She Reads Truth, p. 64-68.

I feel busted and exposed by her words! She gave expression to the hidden parts of my heart and mind, of which I wasn't even aware. She validated how my previous performance based pursuit of God’s acceptance was an ‘almost-true-watered-down-messy-little-gospel.’ It has been a challenging journey to dismantle my belief that I must earn love…jockey for my position in His family…sing for my supper to keep God’s favor. None of this is based on the cross. There is nothing we can add to the work to maintain fellowship with God. We do not have to spend the rest of our lives trying to pick up where the cross left off. There is no more work to do – it was done in the dark a couple thousand years ago. It was a decision whispered through the prayers of a Lamb who was spotless and a Lion who was determined to save us. We don’t need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to our salvation. The price was paid, the Lamb was slain and eternity is ours with Christ. As we walk, let us walk in freedom and understanding that everything required has been fulfilled. We cannot alter it, lose it or get more of it – we have it all in Jesus.

“When Jesus had received the drink, Jesus said, ‘It is finished.’” John 19:30.

Broken Pottery

“Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand.” Jeremiah 18:6.

I remember one day when my children were very young, I began the day feeling unsettled and irritated. I was in a rotten mood so everything they did got under my skin. In an attempt to make me laugh they did things that normally brought a smile or laughter. You know you are having a bad day when you try harder to stay mad than to get in a better mood. Somedays, being in a good mood just takes too much work! That was my day and thankfully one of few. I remember that by early afternoon I decided I had enough, and told the kids I was going to my bedroom. I’ll never forget what one of them said. They said, ‘Why Mommy, what did you do wrong?’ I remember silently thinking is wasn’t anything I did, more who I was that day.

Fast-forward 20 years to the season when my father-in-law who suffered with Alzheimer’s lived with us. It was a time of challenges for sure but the biggest thing I discovered during this time was who I really was. The woman I saw in the mirror was much different than the woman I had portrayed most of my life. The woman in the mirror had inner resentment for different reasons. The woman in the mirror walked around covered in guilt for hidden thoughts for the situation. The woman in the mirror took credit for things she did, instead of giving credit to God for pulling her through each day. I learned so much from that experience and am so grateful I am no longer that woman. I have other things that need refining but I trust God for this work. Bruce calls this ‘gentle discipline’ from the Lord. It is when God acts out of His great love for us to transform our hearts to genuinely match the person He designed us to be. ‘God moves in our lives because he loves us too much to see us continue in our sin, remain in a lukewarm spiritual state, or go unfulfilled in his purposes for our lives…God’s purpose through pain is to lead us to confront, remove, or change those habits, attitudes, and beliefs that keep us from growing into the full likeness of Christ.’ Finding God’s Blessings in Brokenness, Charles Stanley, p. 14.

I am still trying to discover the woman in the mirror – the woman who reflects Christ as God intended. The woman who reflects the Spirit instead of the flesh. I am constantly on the potter’s wheel being molded in His hands. Some spins have more pressure than others, but those are the ones that make the greatest impression on my life.

Remembering Two Things

“He replied, ‘The man they call Jesus…put mud on my eyes…and I washed, and now I see’… Some of the Pharisees said, ‘This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath’… Then the man said, ‘Lord, I believe,’ and he worshiped him. Jesus said, ‘…the blind will see and those who see will become blind.’” John 9:11-39.

If you have never read this passage you will truly be blessed if you read through it. It is full of spiritual principles that each one of us can apply to our lives. First of all, this was a man in dire need of healing as he had been blind from birth. His life had been a string of years of begging since that was the only way he received provision. He looked to others to provide for Him in his lack. Jesus stopped one Sabbath and provided a way of healing. No one can heal us except for Jesus. Our second principle is that Jesus may heal us in a manner that seems unorthodox and illogical. Thankfully, this man was desperate and followed the suggestion of Jesus. We must be desperate for Him instead of desperate for any other thing or person. He became a follower of Jesus and gave Him the complete glory for the healing. Lastly, the Pharisees refused to believe that Jesus was the prophesied Christ. They were bold enough to challenge Jesus, His position and His power to heal. We must trust Him if we are going to approach Him. How ironic is it that the beggar who could not see gained sight, and the ones who could see became blind to Jesus?

Aren’t we just like these people in this story? We are so blind to things in our lives that need the healing of Jesus such as bitterness, unforgiveness, selfishness or doubt. We beg and beg for release from our unloveliness, but will we follow the instructions God gives us to be healed? Will we forgive...show grace ...believe? Will we trust Him enough to courageously walk out the journey He places before us? Or are we like the Pharisees who go around judging others to avoid their own walk? We use what little spiritual sight we have when dealing with others who are hurting. We are so focused on our own things that we miss the miracles that are happening right before us. We challenge Jesus sometimes because we see His work and power in the lives of other people, but not our own. When we don’t see the Savior saving us, we tend to demote Him and become blind to His presence. Just like the Pharisees, Jesus can be standing right in front of us and yet we miss Him. ‘It is possible for Jesus to be in our midst, and for us to still have a Pharisee heart.’ Finding I Am, Lysa TerKeurst, p. 62.

John Newton, who penned Amazing Grace turned from his faith as a young adult. Life’s challenges and painful circumstances led him back to God and his testimony is in the beautiful words of this hymn...'was blind but now I see.' Shortly before his death he proclaimed, ‘My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things: That I am a great sinner and that Christ is a great Savior!’

“‘Go,’ he told him, ‘wash’…So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.” John 9:7.

Re-creation of Creation

“In the beginning, God…Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.” Genesis 1:1-4.

This is one of my favorite passages and is the anchor of everything that has happened, is presently happening and what is to happen in the future. It is the creative work of God that continously cycles back around. I was considering these words this morning as it relates to my birth. It is a beautiful image to understand that ‘in my beginning’ He spoke me into existence and I laid in perfect darkness for 9 months. He hovered over my life, watching me develop into His daughter. Then at His command, He ordained my day of birth. As he commanded light to separate from darkness I entered this world. It was at that moment I left the perfect darkness, saw light for the first time and had to live in a world with imperfect darkness.

Fast forward to age 46 when God spoke His life-giving words over me again. This time He called me out of imperfect darkness…those areas in my heart that were sin-hardened. Once again, He commended His light to come into being, exposing my darkness and revealing places that were not attitudes and behaviors of the Spirit. He began His Psalm 119:130 campaign in my heart and mind. ‘The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.’ The simple is regarding that childlike understanding and spiritual judgment not yet matured. Through many daunting and painful experiences, He unfolded new understanding of His desires for me. The term 'unfolding' in this verse relates to God’s revelation, interpretation and sanctification (transforming of our hearts). It is through this creative work of God, Christ and the Holy Spirit that Light is separated from darkness…truth from lies.

God determines when each of us has a new set of circumstances that will unfold before us…new beginnings. He speaks situations into our lives that He will use to separate light from darkness. He continues to this day to hover over our lives and ‘call into being what wasn’t there before.’ He never rests…He is never content with who we are…He will continue to create…to separate…to illuminate. It is our responsibility to receive His revelations, meditate on His interpretation, and allow it to transform our hearts and minds. Through this we can impact our world around us.

“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” 2 Co 4:6.

Jaded or Invaded

“Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, ‘Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey?’ Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, ‘Who will cross over the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?’ No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.’” De 30:11-14.

One of the truest ways to understand something is to experience the situation firsthand. I really never knew the grief of losing a parent until I actually lost one. Because I now know that pain, I have a deeper compassion for others going through that same journey. I have had many experiences in my adult life that have devastated me, some that have overwhelmed me and most that have defined God for me. The one thing they all have in common is the wisdom that I have ascertained through those experiences. They are the seasons that revealed who I really was and a call on my life to be the person God wants me to be. Whatever God commanded me to walk through He was faithful in equipping me with what I needed to endure. While these trials seemed too difficult for me, they weren’t once the power of God invaded the circumstances. Peace during the chaos was not beyond my reach when I reached for the right thing…Him. I could never have received these life changing truths by watching someone else go through it. Our hearts will either be jaded by our experiences or transformed in Christ through them.

We cannot expect to receive the revelations of God by wanting others to do the work for us. It is so easy to get stagnant in our faith and lazy in our pursuit of Him. We can certainly be inspired by the ‘ascension in heaven and crossing of the sea’ stories of others. But to be inspired is so much less than to be invaded by the first-hand presence of God. There is no proxy in faith, but a daily invitation to be present at the table with the Creator. No, God is right there with you, and in you and wanting to bring life to the dead places in your heart. When we speak with Him and meditate on Him, it activates His truths in our hearts which places it on our lips. We will have everything we need in all times if we stay closely connected with Jesus. He is our hope and our anchor in times of despair. Wherever we go and whatever we experience He will always be near.

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” Psalm 139:7-12.

Help Our Unbelief!

“Jesus answered, ‘I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill.’ Then they asked him, ‘What must we do to do the work God requires?’ Jesus answered, ‘The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.’” John 6:26, 28-29.

I find it interesting that right at the pinnacle of His success and impact, He calls the crowd out on their motivation. He doesn’t care about hurting their feelings or making them uncomfortable. He makes no apologies when accusing them of self-interest. His followers fail to understand that He came into the world to save souls, not to pacify people. They continued in their fellowship with Jesus inquiring about the manner in which they could fulfill God’s requirement. Jesus stated that the only work God required was that they believe in Jesus. This brings up two great points in my consideration of this conversation between Jesus and His followers. Lysa TerKeurst, author of Finding I Am formulates questions which I must consider and will also ask you for your consideration. ‘Why am I following Jesus? Is it so that I can get something from Him? Am I like the crowds who simply want their bellies filled? Or am I coming to Him because He is Bread to me? There is a difference in coming to Jesus for bread and because He is Bread.’ (p. 34) Talk about food for thought!

We also ask God through our prayers what it is that He would have us do. We search Scripture in hopes of understanding God’s will for our lives. He clearly tells us His requirement: It is to believe…to believe in Jesus…to believe that He is enough…to believe that through Him all things are possible. Jesus exhorts His followers even today that our work is to believe. I can’t help but to notice that believing and work certainly go together. It is work for the parents to believe that God has their prodigal child protected. It is work to believe that our medical issues can be healed. It is work to believe that sobriety can be maintained one more day. It is work to believe that we will not be in our situation for the rest of our lives. We cry out, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’ Mark 9:24. Believing IS work but the yield is enormous. The yield of work is transcending peace in a chaotic situation. The yield of work is comfort and rest in our grief. The yield of work is wisdom and guidance in a tough decision. When we approach Jesus as Bread instead of receiving bread we will get everything needed and exceedingly more than we can ever imagine.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20.

Bringing Jesus on Board

“A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. When they had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on water; and they were terrified… ‘It is I; don’t be afraid.’ Then they were willing to take him into the boat…They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.’”Excerpts from the shared testimonies of Mark 6:45-52 and John 6:16-21.

The dynamics of this situation are very interesting when considering it from an aerial view. The disciples had just returned from a very successful preaching tour where the power of God was displayed in very concrete ways. No doubt they came back with self-confidence and a greater sense of themselves. The feeding of the 5000 was immediately played out at their return, and they actually partnered with Jesus in this miracle. They left there and got in their boat to go to the other side of the lake, leaving Jesus alone on the shore. A storm arose and they became fearful for their lives, and straining to keep control of the boat while trying to navigate to safety. During their exhaustion, they looked up and saw a figure on the water moving towards them. They didn’t even recognize Jesus as He was coming to take control of the storm and their safety. He actually had to announce Himself to them. Scripture then tells us that they are ‘willing’ to take him into the boat. It also states that they were completely amazed that He walked on water. They had just witnessed Him multiplying 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to the nourishment of over 5000 people. (The 5000 didn’t include women and children.) So we ask ourselves, ‘If they had seen Jesus perform that miracle, why were they amazed that He could do this miracle?’

Aren’t we the same way sometimes? Don’t we fail to see miracles all around us, because we are looking at our limited circumstances instead of our unlimited God. When the storms come out of nowhere we ‘strain at the oars’ taking the challenges on in our own strength. We are so busy looking at the waves we don’t even recognize Jesus in our midst. He’s there…He’s walking towards us…He wants to be invited into the boat. Will we be willing to bring Him on board and turn the oars over to Him? Will we sit in remembrance during our storms and remember other miracles and rescues He has done on our behalf in the past? Do we really believe in His constant provision even while we wait for a safe haven? The fact is that He is faithful and orchestrating the details of our lives whether we recognize it or not.

Let us all look for Him in our trials, invite Him in to take control and trust Him to safely navigate us home.

Craving Bread

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all of these things will be given to you.” Matthew 6:33.

This verse is the remedy to a preceding passage that begs us to lay down our worries. I have always found comfort in this verse but I certainly have done my share of worrying about what I will eat…and drink…and wear…and every other thing under the sun. But is wasn’t until this morning that I more clearly understood the original translation of ‘seek’ in this verse. The original intention of seeking God’s kingdom and His righteousness is to crave. When I look back over the course of my adult life I am embarrassed about the things of this world that I craved over Jesus. Some of the most intensely craved things were people…my children…my grandchildren…man’s approval and acceptance. Honestly, I am sure that Satan places disguised cravings all around me…this relationship…that pursuit…another distraction from being right in the middle of God’s presence. Craving anything always leads to a provision of something. Who will we allow to fill our hunger? God? The world? Our personal relationship?

Lisa TerKeurst writes a powerful statement in her Bible Study, Finding I Am: ‘What we consume will consume us.’ That statement knocked me back as I have just come out of a season where I was completely consumed with my set of circumstances. Don’t get me wrong…I was constantly in prayer over this situation throughout each and every day. But somewhere along the way I became consumed with the circumstances instead of being consumed with God. I craved and sought after a resolution that was not mine to demand…His will, not mine. To identify our cravings, we must be honest with ourselves and recognize our appetite. Our appetite is formed by our desires, and with what we feed our leanness will determine where our devotion lies. Do we crave power and status? Do we desperately seek ways bringing our kingdom to come instead of God’s kingdom? What is God’s kingdom? It is waiting patiently on Him to bring resolution in His way and His timing. It is sitting in the lack and giving Him an opportunity to fill our cravings. If we stay on the run, craving this trip, that purchase, those pursuits of nothing we will miss out on the fullness that can be ours in Him.

When we become consumed with Christ all of our striving and toiling will fall to the side. God desires to be our craving…our consumption…our desire. Anything short of that becomes an idol producing a toxic hunger.

“‘Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry…’” John 6:35.

Holy Wrestling

“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: “‘I AM has sent me to you.’” Exodus 3:14.

I am starting a powerful Bible Study by Lisa TerKeurst entitled Finding I Am. I can tell it is going to be one of those studies that will require a great deal of emotional investment. Her words exhort me to find the great I AM within my heart, my life, my joys and my disappointments. We all have them, we all have prayed for them and we all have cried over them…disappointments. What do we do when we have invested years and years in a prayer that still remains just a tired muttering of a future resolution? How do find a fresh I AM in a stale situation? God still speaks to us in an attempt to teach us who He is in our current situations and how He can be trusted in spite of a dream temporarily set aside. I love Lisa’s statement of living in the tension of holy wrestling while tears are still on our pillows. She states, ‘I’m desperate, I’m hopeful, but I’m tired.’

Who is desperate, hopeful but tired waiting on their desire to become reality? She states that God wants more than to be all we need. He wants to become all we desire. In considering that statement this morning I was trying to apply it to my life. I believe that God being everything I need is His devotion to me. God being everything I desire is my devotion to Him. There is big difference and I know that He will set up painful circumstances to show Himself faithful in supplying with all things to endure tough times. But when we choose to be with Him, walk with Him and develop intimate fellowship we are creating an ‘I AM’ desire for Him. With all relationships, honesty is essential in discovering the I AM’s of Jesus. Over the course of my life when walking out challenges, God was certainly all I needed, but there are still unresolved areas where God has yet to be the God of what I wanted. Amidst the uncertainty of unanswered prayers, I will stand in certainly of His promise. Life is fickle and full of disappointments but Jesus is constant and the full of every satisfaction. Jesus, the flesh manifestation of the great I AM of God. By getting to know Jesus better, I get to know God and who He is in my heart. I can have courage to still breath hope in unanswered prayers where Jesus invites me to dream big in a big dream.

So today I say, 'I am hopeful, I am confident, I am certain in the great I AM!'

Whack-a-Mole

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on…And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need then. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you.” Matthew 6:24-33

When my daughter Caroline was around 8 years old, I remember we took our kids to an arcade while on vacation. I can still see that little blonde headed child excited to play Whack-a-Mole. This game was a surface of holes offering a mechanical mole to randomly pop up through one of the them. When it was the person’s turn, they were to try to whack the mole with a rubber mallet before it disappeared back into the box. Caroline’s excitement quickly turned into frustration when she kept missing the mole. Eventually, she started whacking at all of the holes before the mole even popped up. I kept trying to tell her to calm down and wait until the mole appeared before swinging the mallet. Needless to say, that little girl wore her arm out before the mole ever popped up.

How many days are we like that little child? Wearing ourselves out by whacking at things that aren’t even happening, swinging our emotions at situations that haven’t even occurred. We worry about things that never come to be. We take a turn at hitting our discontent with a consumer based swing, purchasing things we do not need in an effort to satisfy. Between worry and discontent we take on the goal of the pagans…running after things that do not satisfy…fearing our ‘have nots’ of earthly things over recognizing our ‘haves’ of the spiritual things. We will wear ourselves out whacking these moles that may even not appear, and cannot satisfy if they do. Instead of swinging our mallet we must swing our Sword when walking out our journeys. Our sword of the Spirit is the word of God and we must sharpen it so we will be prepared when our hearts are not satisfied and our minds are full of worry.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain...But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness." 1 Timothy 6:6-11

Risky Business

“‘Master, I know you have high standards…you demand the best…I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound…’ The master was furious. ‘That’s a terrible way to live! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum, where at least I would have gotten a little interest. Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this ‘play-it-safe’ who won’t go out on a limb.’” Matthew 25:24-30. (Combination translation from Lauren Chandler and The Message)

This parable told by Jesus is extremely applicable in living out our lives. Jesus tells of a situation between a master and his three servants. We are told that all three men are given an opportunity according to their abilities, which I am assuming would be their decision-making abilities. The one who was given the least made the decision to do nothing, and that is exactly what was gained for the master. No risk, no return, no sharing joy with the master. Instead, his master was furious and pointed out to his servant what was in his heart…fear and laziness.

So many times, we also choose to forego opportunities given by God. We rationalize why we don’t take advantage of a situation that suddenly arises. Or we sit back and just wait for God to show up, instead of thinking on our feet and using our abilities to serve Him. Sometimes, we need to wait on God to bring the opportunity to us. Other times, we need to take some risks and earn some interest in His kingdom. We need to show Him we will be fruitful with the abilites in which He entrusted us…our time…our gifts…our resources. We cannot be lazy or fearful with what He has entrusted us, and must be fruitful in accomplishing our best for God. Afterall, our best is the very least we can do for Him. Many times in my life, I have played-it-safe and a few times I have gone out on a limb for Him. I can attest that the times I have gone out on a limb, I have been able to ‘share my master’s happiness!’ (Matthew 25:21b) It is not our natural inclination to enbolden ourselves in new activities, but God desires to grow us up through these opportunities and share in His blessings.

Prayer for wisdom and guidance is extremely important, but we cannot be that servant who plays it safe every time. We must be courageous and responsive to the opportunities sent by the Master.

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’” Matthew 25:21.

The Ghost of Happiness

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

The other day I was speaking with a parent who looked at me and stated that every parent just wants their children to be happy.  As soon as those words were spoken something in my spirit took note of disagreement.  Yesterday while walking I remembered those words and gave them further consideration.  I probably would have said that same statement for the biggest part of my parenting years. But as my wrinkles deepen and my steps get slower, life has shown me that happiness is a fickle companion.  It is a fleeting partnership with no lasting relationship and little depth.  Happiness is nothing more than a temporary emotion based on a temporary fix.  Happiness can be that next drink…that new drug…that new purchase…that desired relationship. 

I have decided that the one thing I want for my children is godliness which produces joy instead of happiness, and gratitude instead of grumbling.  I believe that our passage this morning gives us insight on how to attain godliness.   Every one of us has a story of how God has blessed us in the past.  Being joyful is imperative in keeping our prayer life active, remembering that He will continue to act in the future as faithful as He has in the past.  A commentary states ‘to rejoice always is to see the hand of God in whatever is happening and to remain certain of God’s future salvation.’  When we rejoice in His past deliverances, we have a more grateful heart.  ‘Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and is not dependent upon certain conditions.  It is rooted in the unperishable, unchanging, and unconditional.  As long as we have the Spirit, we can have eyes to see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living…Rejoicing and faith go hand in hand.  If we are to rejoice always, it is imperative to believe that there is more than what we can see, taste, smell, hear and feel.’ Steadfast Love, Lauren Chandler, p. 167.

So on this beautiful day that the Lord has made I wish you godliness instead of happiness, and fruitfulness instead of idleness. 

When There Is No Other

“…so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting men may know there is none besides me.  I am the LORD, and there is no other.  I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things… ‘let righteousness grow with it; I, the LORD, have created it.’” Isaiah 45:6-8.

To fully experience the face of God we must revere the sovereignty of His power, but remember the motivation of His heart.  He wills circumstances into our lives that are both joyful and sorrowful… blessings and calamities.  But this verse also tells us that these situations are means to the beautiful end…righteousness in Christ and the strength to face any adversity that comes our way.  Whatever we are experiencing we can be confident that God is equipping us to walk through it.  Adversity is not sent to us just for the sake of experiencing it.  It finds a way to burn off the things of this worldly kingdom and purify the things of the spiritual kingdom.  Adversity shines a bright light on what we really believe and the depth of our faith.

Our passage gives a clear message of God’s desire as the outcome of our circumstances…the growth of our righteousness.  Through our increasing righteousness we become more aware of what has previously gripped our hearts and mastered over us.   

J. I. Packer once wrote, ‘Still he seeks the fellowship of his people and sends them both sorrows and joys in order to detach their love from other things and attach it to himself.’  We all have been guilty of this in the past or maybe even in our present circumstances.  So, I ask each of us this morning:  To what have we attached ourselves that has wreaked havoc in our lives?  Does that attachment continue to master over us bringing chaos and painful circumstances?  What will it take to replace that destructive attachment with the wholehearted attachment to God?  

God wants to bless us with His abundance and lavish love but He will wait until we are ready to receive it.  He will continue to create situations that will urge us to lay down the things that no longer work for who we are in Him.   Whether it is a behavior, an attitude or a fear that paralyzes us we must engage in constant fellowship with the only One who can set us free.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1.

The Fury of our Storms

“That night…he said to the disciples, ‘Let us go over to the other side.’  A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped…The disciples woke him and said… ‘Teacher, don’t you even care if we drown?’  He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet!  Be still!’  They…asked each other, ‘Who is this?  Even the wind and waves obey him!’” Mark 4:35-41.

By the time this event took place the disciples had already sat under the teachings of Jesus.  They had witnessed His supernatural miracles, and watch the world be turned upside down from His words.  They certainly had more head knowledge about Jesus than any other person.  And yet, they didn’t really know Him as well as they thought.  Once the danger that had despaired them had passed, they marveled in a fresh awareness of His capabilities and power.  This event is a beautiful unfolding of each one of us as our furious storms come into our lives.

Just like the disciples, if we are following Jesus we will be led into troublesome times to grow our faith, and show us another facet of God.  When Jesus called them to the other side He was well aware what their future held.  God knows exactly what is up ahead in your life and mine, and the manner in which He will bring it to completion.  We think we know Him but then some set of circumstances occur and we not only learn what is really in our hearts, but we become aware of His incredible power.  Just like the disciples, we sometimes approach Him with accusations and fear.  We have moments of doubt that God is in control, and that He really cares for us since no resolution is on the horizon.  ‘Is He sleeping or worse…does He really care if we drown in our suffering?’

The Jesus who said, ‘Quiet!  Be still!’ is the same Jesus who is with us in the boat experiencing the fury of our storms.  He is the same Teacher who will bring our head knowledge of Him to our hearts, showing us the power of His words.  He is not asleep in the stern and He loves us with every ounce of His being.  Just because the waters are still crashing into our lives doesn’t mean He is not in control of the circumstances. We must continue to call to Him and have confidence that He will deliver us in every storm.  ‘Storms are scary.  It tests our faith and reveals the true condition of our hearts.’ Steadfast Love, Lauren Chandler, p. 150.

“Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.” Mark 4:39.