Broken Pottery

“Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand.” Jeremiah 18:6.

I remember one day when my children were very young, I began the day feeling unsettled and irritated. I was in a rotten mood so everything they did got under my skin. In an attempt to make me laugh they did things that normally brought a smile or laughter. You know you are having a bad day when you try harder to stay mad than to get in a better mood. Somedays, being in a good mood just takes too much work! That was my day and thankfully one of few. I remember that by early afternoon I decided I had enough, and told the kids I was going to my bedroom. I’ll never forget what one of them said. They said, ‘Why Mommy, what did you do wrong?’ I remember silently thinking is wasn’t anything I did, more who I was that day.

Fast-forward 20 years to the season when my father-in-law who suffered with Alzheimer’s lived with us. It was a time of challenges for sure but the biggest thing I discovered during this time was who I really was. The woman I saw in the mirror was much different than the woman I had portrayed most of my life. The woman in the mirror had inner resentment for different reasons. The woman in the mirror walked around covered in guilt for hidden thoughts for the situation. The woman in the mirror took credit for things she did, instead of giving credit to God for pulling her through each day. I learned so much from that experience and am so grateful I am no longer that woman. I have other things that need refining but I trust God for this work. Bruce calls this ‘gentle discipline’ from the Lord. It is when God acts out of His great love for us to transform our hearts to genuinely match the person He designed us to be. ‘God moves in our lives because he loves us too much to see us continue in our sin, remain in a lukewarm spiritual state, or go unfulfilled in his purposes for our lives…God’s purpose through pain is to lead us to confront, remove, or change those habits, attitudes, and beliefs that keep us from growing into the full likeness of Christ.’ Finding God’s Blessings in Brokenness, Charles Stanley, p. 14.

I am still trying to discover the woman in the mirror – the woman who reflects Christ as God intended. The woman who reflects the Spirit instead of the flesh. I am constantly on the potter’s wheel being molded in His hands. Some spins have more pressure than others, but those are the ones that make the greatest impression on my life.