A Lighter Cross

“I still have many things to tell you, but you can’t bear them now.” John 16:12.

I read about a man named Arthur Bissett in my Bible study this morning who opened a coffee shop in the 1960’s.  He nailed a large cross onto the wall of his shop, and later was compelled to remove the cross and take it out into the streets of California with the message.  ‘Eventually he would carry it across the country and across the world…on foot.’ www.blessitt.com.  On Christmas Day in 1969 he made his first walk, and since then he walked over 42,000 miles covering all 7 continents.  He is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records.  God called him to this unusual ministry and he fulfilled his calling.  I love the quote he made about carrying his wooden cross. ‘If I knew I was going to have to carry it around the world, I wouldn’t have made it so big.’ www.blessitt.com.

I can’t even begin to name the times that I have spoken this sentiment to myself…If I had only known…I never imagined…I never saw that coming.  I have said before that had I known it would be 8 long heartbreaking years before one of my children became physically and spiritually healthy I could never have survived.  The cross seemed lighter back then as I believed that any day hope would win, and my family would be reconciled again.  Had I carried the cross of knowledge it would have been too difficult knowing the long season that was in store for me.  The cross seemed a little lighter before I understood that not only would my dad get cancer, but my father-in-law would get Alzheimer’s followed by my sister’s cancer.  The cross was a little lighter before I realized that work would be sparse for a few years instead of a few months.  We all have big expectations throughout our lives.  But God usually doesn’t call us to our expectations, but constructs big and heavy crosses to lug around.  His interest is in transforming our hearts and minds, not in our ease and convenience.  Our heavy crosses force us to be dependent upon the One who carried His through town for each of us. 

I thank God for the providence He gives us as He shields our eyes from our future circumstances.  I’m grateful that He only gives us what we can bear at the time.  When we lay our crosses upon His shoulders we can have confidence that it’s not too heavy for Him.  He has already lugged around the heaviest cross ever built.  Give Him your burdens and your weariness for He has already carried the cross for you.  His worst day in history became our best day in eternity.  He exchanged His cross for a throne!  Walk in the blessing that no matter what your circumstances may be, He has overcome!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Our Unfinished Stories

“So Moses thought, ‘I must go over and look at this remarkable sight.’” Ex 3:3.

Here is a man who was raised in favor and the royalty of a palace, but found himself at 80 years old in the wilderness tending sheep. There had been seasons of triumph, comfort and completeness, but there had also been circumstances that led to his desert living. He was 80 years old, and most likely had reconciled his future of loneliness and isolation. But one beautiful day, being fully engaged in the life God had given him, he noticed on the horizon smoke from a bush that seemed to be burning but not spreading. He gave himself permission to follow his curiosity and what he discovered changed the trajectory of his life forever! ‘I must go over and look…’

After our dad died, Mother’s heart was broken as she found her home empty of love, companionship and a lifetime of living like a queen in a palace. She was 73 at the time and grief and loss filled her days. Even in her sadness, she fully engaged into the life God had given her. She surrounded herself with friends, family and faith and eventually found the life of acceptance, healing and joy. She always said Daddy was the love of her life, and there would never be another. But one day, this wonderful gentleman from her church asked her to go to Jackson's Cafeteria, a place they both liked. She graciously declined several times, so he eventually told her if she ever wanted to go to Jackson’s to give him a call. Then one day out of nowhere, she spoke in her heart those same words of Moses so many years ago… ‘I must go over and look…’ On Saturday, the two held hands, faced each other and gave the rest of their lives to each other. All of those days she awoke to face a day of empty halls and breakfast for one. All of those nights when the last person she spoke with was through a text or a phone call. I thought her story as a wife was finished, but God had been writing subsequent chapters for years. On Saturday, we all knew we were standing on holy ground. It was truly a day that the Lord had made, and we were joyful and rejoiced in it!

Everybody is waiting on something…a spouse…a job…a cure…a change of seasons…a delivery. We sit in the mundane of our days seeing nothing…no smoke signal…no burning bush. But God is busy choosing the bush, picking up kindle, arranging the fire, watching the changing winds so the fire when lit won’t dwindle. We must keep our hearts open, and our eyes focused on Him so that when the winds are right we will determine that we must go explore the things God has revealed. In my own life, the times when I see burning bushes are times when the desert is dry. They are rarely in the times of comfort. ‘Bushes don’t burn in palaces, they burn in deserts. When we are not even able to trace His fingerprints, He is already working on our behalf. He’s stirring things up in our favor. Our hearts are tenderized when we are in the dry seasons. If you feel like God is doing nothing, this is the time when He is most likely doing a lot of something.' Discerning the Voice of God, Priscilla Shirer, p. 133.

‘This remarkable thing!’ Welcome to the family Ben…trust me when I say it will be a wild ride!

A Seat for One

"The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9.

I remember when Bruce and I began dating it was always fun to hear the stories from his childhood. His family was certainly full of life, and Bruce certainly knows how to tell a story just like his mother used to. When the story would end I would say to myself, ‘did that really happen like that?’ When he introduced me to his sister I began to hear some of the same stories, but they never matched his version. Most times than not, Bruce’s mom would corroborate Bruce’s version. I remember telling him one time that it was like they didn’t even grow up together in the same house. We have laughed with his sister over the years about ‘Linda’s world’. I came to understand the power of perception. I am able to recognize my own twist on things and how erroneous my thinking was during certain periods of my life. I remember being so sure about things that were so wrong. Most of the times when my perception led me astray was when I was distant from God.

Our distance from God will determine how closely we allow the enemy to disguise and distort our thinking. When we fall away from the daily meditation and fellowship between God and ourselves, we begin to see things through our feelings, making poor decisions from an emotional standpoint. Satan banks on this every time, because he knows that this life offers a bevy of frustration, disappointment and disillusionment. He knows we all have sick hearts and the success for him is in our perception of our circumstances. The thing about perception is that usually it is a one-man kayak, detouring with the rushing waters of our emotions. God’s truth is the stable bank on which we should firmly plant our feet as the rushing waters pass by. ‘Our feelings, past experiences, and personal perceptions cannot be wholly trusted. If you depend on them, you’ll likely be deceived by the enemy. He is the master illusionist. To keep from being fooled, you must possess an objective standard outside of yourself…God’s word is that objective standard.’ Discerning the Voice of God, Priscilla Shirer, p. 116.

“For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” Hebrews 4:12.

Sticks and Stones

“Then…they brought a woman caught in adultery, making her stand in the center… ‘Teacher…this woman was caught in the act…In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women’…Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground with his finger…he stood up and said to them, ‘The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her’…they left one by one.’” John 8:3-9a.

In today’s society, there is certainly no lack of people who love to accuse another. The news and many people on social media don’t think twice about smearing someone’s character or transgressions for all to see. I remember a while back a woman posted pictures of her boyfriend on Facebook with another woman, and was relentless in her comments. She did in 2017 what the Pharisees did to this woman in John 8.

They dragged her into the circle where Jesus was teaching, and demanded that she be stoned. I read this morning in my commentary different theories as to what Jesus was writing in the sand when He stooped down. The most probable theory is that Jesus was writing the law which the men were breaking. (With adultery both parties must be brought into public, not just the woman.) Such was the tradition that the High Priest would write in the dust on the Temple floor the sins of the people. But I would like to imagine that as the shamed woman was looking down, Jesus stooped down to look back up. I can just imagine Jesus looking back up at her tear-stained face…her tear-filled eyes…her empty heart. Did He write in the sand where her eyes were focused…you are loved…you are chosen…you are valued? Did He look up between each statement He wrote piercing the very eyes of the sinner? Did Jesus use those hands that would one day be scarred to write her future identity…forgiven…redeemed…beloved. The one thing that Jesus didn’t do was throw stones.

The enemy will always use our greatest sins or weaknesses to shame us into believing we are nothing. He will highlight our greatest failures until it feels like we have been stoned to death. But when we focus our eyes on Jesus He stoops down from Heaven and looks intently into our heart. He understands that as believers, we don’t want to keep doing the things we are doing. His forgiveness extends beyond our sins. He wrote our name in the sand the day He rose from the grave, and we accepted Him. ‘Condemnation offers only guilt and judgment as it points to the problem; the soothing conviction of God offers a solution. He doesn’t bring up the past without the pointing to the future.’ Discerning the Voice of God, Priscilla Shirer, p. 115. We cannot allow the enemy to regain surrendered land. We can hold our head high because we have been forgiven, chosen and redeemed no matter what our past sins have been. Jesus knew then what He still knows today...that those trapped in the worst sins are not hopeless...they can still be redeemed.

“For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Anyone who believes in him is not condemned…” John 3:17.

Feet Don't Fail Me Now!

“Now this is what the Lord says – the one who created you…and the one who formed you – ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine…I sweep away your transgressions…and remember them no more.’” Isaiah 43:1, 25

This past weekend while enjoying my lifelong friends the subject of past decisions arose. Lifelong friends offer something no other relationships offer…our secret transgressions. All of us are very aware of the poor decisions we all made many years ago. Inevitably, the subject of guilt came to the surface and hung in the air like a stench. I HATE guilt and have had to push hard against feeling it my entire life once God has forgiven me. Guilt of abandoning a marriage…guilt of decisions I made within that marriage…guilt of not being a good enough wife both then and now, mother, daughter, friend…immense guilt of secretly buying things and keeping it from my husband. The list goes on and on…when it shouldn’t.

The Bible clearly tells us that the cross ushered in redemption. Once the stone in front of the tomb was rolled away, the grave was found empty. The empty tomb echoes this verse…Christ has risen, and we have been risen with Him. His death gave us life, a life of grace and forgiveness which frees us from the guilt of sin once we repent. It is the work of the Holy Spirit to convict us, while it is the desire of the enemy to remind us of our weakness and sin. This is how we discern whose voice we are believing. If God has promised that He doesn’t remember our sin once we have repented, then why on earth do we keep reminding ourselves of them? ‘We must begin to clearly recognize the fingerprints of the enemy who uses our past against us, keeping us from being able to flourish, walk in abundance, and experience victory as children of God.’ Discerning the Voice of God, Priscilla Shirer, p. 113.

The only legitimate guilt that moves and grows us is when the Holy Spirit points us to something in our lives that is a barrier between us and God. The Holy Spirit’s aim is to steer us in the direction of mercy and grace. Echoes of guilt from the enemy is like a wheelchair that has no wheels...disabling us… restricting us…paralyzing us…taking our eyes off the promises and forgiveness of God. You can also determine which voice you are believing by the feelings they invoke. Condemnation from the enemy promotes shame and guilt even after you have been forgiven. Conviction from the Spirit points to correction and transformation (It has feet to move you). One disables while one enables…one shames while the other releases…one says 'look who you have been' while the other says 'look who you can be.' Romans 5:10 states that we can rejoice in God through Christ, through whom we have received reconciliation. ‘Reconciliation is the beautiful love story by which the divide of sin between us and God is eternally bridged.’ Discerning the Voice of God, p. 113.

We are going to believe the voice who is the loudest so let it be God’s voice through His word. By getting in His word daily, we will be reminded of how deep is His love and how permanent is His forgiveness. We can walk in triumphant confidence and give our feet of faith a beautiful road on which to journey.

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.” 2 Co 2:14

Meeting Death to Gain Life

“Together they were discussing everything that had taken place. And while they were discussing…Jesus himself came near and began to walk with them…But they were hoping that he was the one…” Luke 24: 14, 21.

This beautiful story near the end of Luke mentions friends who were returning to Jerusalem after the death of Jesus. They were discussing everything surrounding His life…His ministry…His promise…His death. They were reminiscing about the hope they previously had that Jesus was the promised One. Their disappointment and confusion were their companions as they rehashed the circumstances leading up to this event. As they were talking, they didn’t even realize that someone had joined them on their walk…a very compelling stranger who eventually revealed Himself as the Messiah. The very One who could fulfill the very dream they thought was dead.

This past weekend was one that will keep my heart full for quite some time. Six women of our group of eight spent the weekend at the beach loving, laughing and reliving snapshots of memories that have spanned over at least 45 years. We sat on our little screened in porch, ate beyond what any one should, and celebrated our time together in a large way. We talked about things we were sure would have happened…things that didn’t happen…things that did occur…and things we are looking to God to bring in our future. This morning, as I read the story of the road to Emmaus, I couldn’t help but draw parallels. As we talked about our lives one of us said that ‘the hope had been that He was the One’ to keep our children from going down dark paths if we raised them in church. Others ‘had hoped that marriages would be until death’ and ‘death wouldn’t take away our marriages.’ Others had hoped that God would intervene in illnesses…in circumstances…in relationships…in vocations. Some of us are still hoping for dreams to be fulfilled, for hearts to be restored and for circumstances to be resolved. We hoped He was the One and we are hoping that He will be the One.

But I am encouraged to know that while we were walking down memory lane Jesus had joined us. As we talked about our pain, He was there on our lips. As we listened to each other’s dreams He was listening intently already knowing the details of our future. He was there, and He is wherever you are. He will be the One to heal your loved ones on earth or in Heaven. He will be the One to walk with you and talk with you no matter where you are. He will be the One to bring resolution to that impossible situation. It will be Jesus who heals your broken heart, who will move your mountains, who will celebrate your mountaintops and fulfill your deep desires. In everything He is involved, and everywhere He moves with all of His children. He is the very One who can raise our dead dreams to life.

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” Psalm 139:7-12.

Any Time Will Do!

“‘If you can do such wonderful things, show yourself to the world!’ Therefore, Jesus told them, ‘My time is not yet here; for you any time will do.’” John 7:4, 6.

Growing up one of four girls, not many days passed when the battle cry of ‘Prove It!’ didn’t ring out in our household. Someone seemed to always be disbelieving about something another of us was claiming. The burden always laid at the feet of the one who proclaimed their truth. The same scenario was occurring in our verses above. The brothers of Jesus were being antagonistic to Him about what He was claiming. They tried to goad Him into performing miracles in the center of these crowds without much belief that He could (If you can do…). I can’t help but to believe that the man-Jesus…the brother of these antagonists…had to restrain Himself from showing them a miracle or two to shut them up. But, Jesus showed His holy restraint, knowing that all things weren’t yet in place for the supernatural to shine. I do LOVE His response to His brothers! ‘For you any time will do.’

We are no different than His siblings when calling on Him to show us His workings. We pray and plead, ‘If you can heal, then do it!’ We ask Him to ‘show up and show out’ by giving us that job…that spouse…that healing…that delivery. Sometimes, we even become antagonistic like His siblings when trying to settle things in our hearts. ‘You could have done this wonderful thing, but you didn’t!’ We have hearts of ‘any time will do, Lord!’ The principle that counteracts this attitude is the principle of waiting on the Lord. Jesus understood that God had orchestrated the exact time frame in which He was to operate. He understood that to wait on God meant to reject the timing of man and our own desires. He knew by taking matters into His own hands, He would be snatching them out of the hands of God. He trusted that while things looked stagnant on earth, God was arranging and aligning things in Heaven. Our earthly calendar seems to stand still as the heavenly calendar is ticking away.

Whatever it is that we are waiting on Jesus to act upon, we must walk in the understanding that He is in total control of our lives. We must turn our prayers from ‘show me what you can do for me’ to ‘show me what you are doing in me.’ When that beautiful day comes when our desires intersect God’s timing the whole world will see His miraculous works. It is different for everyone, for everyone’s journey is different. Trust in Him and wait upon the Lord.

“Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.” James 5:7-8.

The Best Surprise Ever!

“I am certain that I will see the LORD’s goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27:13-14.

Over 7 years ago our dad closed his eyes to the temporal and opened his eyes to the permanent. It has been a long time since I have seen his sweet smile other than in my dreams. I have missed him terribly but I have complete peace and joy that I will be with him again. His new home certainly left a void in my mother’s life. She has demonstrated grief done beautifully well, as grief is anything but beautiful. She has shown me that pain and joy can co-exist in life. She has shown me that even in our hurt we can accept the things God allows. Through her faith she has restored life where death tried to win. She gave it no foothold in her days, and has built a wonderful subsequent chapter after a life with Daddy. She has filled her days with laughter, love and the joy of family, faith and friends. No matter what God brought to her, He walked her through it and was faithful. How did my mother accomplish this so well?

Because she walked in the certainty of His goodness no matter what was up ahead. She displayed strength and courage through her confidence in God’s will for her life. She didn’t try to force a future in her own strength. I want to be that woman who can laugh at the future instead of fear…I want to be that person who has that strength and courage to choose joy over pain.

And just when she wasn’t looking, God threw the most amazing surprise party for our 81-year mother! He opened the door of love and life with a wonderful man from her church. A week from tomorrow they will say their “I do’s” and begin a life that was totally unsearchable and unexpected. It was through her trust in God’s goodness, her strength to rise above her loss, and her courage to love again that a ring will once again be slipped on her finger…now that is the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! God has wonderful things for each of us, if we will just wait on Him. He will not fail us.

“Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.” Jeremiah 33:3.

Our Scarlet Cord

“This oath you made…will not be binding…unless, when we enter the land, you have tied this scarlet cord in the window…As for those who are in the house with you, their blood will be on our head if a hand is laid on them” Joshua 2:17-19.

This is a fascinating story in history prior to the defeat of Jericho. Rahab was an innkeeper and prostitute who lived within the city gates. A representation of men from the Israelites were sent in to spy on what would be their next conquest. Rahab had heard of the miracles God performed on their behalf and she was overcome with fear. She knew that not only was the enemy getting ready to advance against her home, but that they had the Lord on their side. ‘When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed…’ Joshua 2:11. Because she hid and protected them from her leaders when they approached her home, she asked for protection in return. They agreed that when they attacked she and her family within her home would be protected if she hung a scarlet cord in the window. The scarlet cord is what ultimately saved her family. They made a promise that as long as she remained where the scarlet cord hung, they would take responsibility for any suffering.

I remember sitting in the doctor’s office with Mother and Daddy when they diagnosed him with cancer. I knew I had to make the call to my other sisters, a call that many of you have also had to make. I still remember my dad’s face when he was told. He had this strange sense of peace, smiled and said ‘Really?’ It’s like he heard the news but wasn’t affected by the news at the moment. Mother sat there quietly and took in the reality with quiet concentration. There was no hysteria…no anger...just a moment of taking it all in. But I remember calling Bruce and I was more like Rahab… ‘when I heard of it, my heart melted in fear and courage failed.’ You see, Mother and Daddy had spent their entire life with the scarlet cord hanging in the window. Throughout their marriage they looked to God for everything, believing in His faithfulness in all things. They had seen miracles performed…had received comfort and peace extended when chaos was around them. They understood what it was like to walk under the covenant of a Savior who had already spilled His blood for us. Jesus Christ was their scarlet cord who was woven through the fabrics of their lives. Their spiritual legacy has been one of the greatest gifts to both my generation and the generation of my children.

Because of what Christ did on the cross we each have that promise of protection, security and eternal love. Because of Jesus, we can bear whatever cross this world throws at us because this world is not our home. We are residents of a future city where we will know His face fully, abide in His mansion and continuously experience His presence. But until then, hang your scarlet cord in the window so everyone will know that Jesus Christ is our life and He is coming back!

“And she tied the scarlet cord in the window.” Joshua 2:21

Oh, What a Voice!

"In the beginning God created…darkness covered the surface of the watery depths, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.” Gen 1:1-2.

Have you ever wondered what your children were thinking as they looked in your eyes for the first time? I was thinking about it this morning as I remembered the first time I looked in their eyes. In the beginning days of their birth…their created lives…I can’t imagine the trauma of leaving their dark and safe home, entering into a world of bright light, noise and hurried activity. But we are told that God has been with us since our beginning of time. I imagine that as I lay there struggling to delivery my little ones, He was hovering over orchestrating the beautiful timing and introductions. He was calming my babies before I even knew how. He was protecting them before I even had to think about danger. He was there and He is here. Just as He hovered then, he also hovered above my loved ones as they were getting ready to enter into His eternal rest. He hovered and ushered them into their new home. As they closed their eyes to us, they opened their eyes to Him. His voice of eternity drowned out the noise of this world. Oh, how great is our God and creator!

Psalm 29 tells of the beautiful voice of God and all that it accomplishes just in breath alone. ‘The voice of the Lord is above…in power…in splendor…it breaks…it shatters…it flashes flames of fire…it shakes the wilderness…it gives birth.’ I am so grateful that it only takes His voice to be powerful enough to move sickness to healing. I’m so grateful that I can see His splendor in the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I’m humbled that He broke dreams that were motivated by ego and flesh. I’m walking in freedom in areas where He shattered past behaviors and attitudes that imprisoned me. I’m confident that He flashes flames of fire to guide me in this life’s journey, burning away the paths in which I should not walk. He has shaken my foundation through suffering seasons, and has given birth to a new way of living. His voice has done so much in my life, and so much in your life I'm sure. Why do we ever worry at all about any of our circumstances when we have a God who sits enthroned above and hovers over us in power, love and protection? He guides us with His voice, the Spirit within us, and never leaves or abandons us. Whether we are in the watery depths of despair, or on top of the mountain we can always walk in confidence because He is always with us. Our floods will not overtake us because He is over the flood.

“The LORD sits enthroned over the flood; the LORD sits enthroned, King forever. The LORD gives his people strength; the LORD blesses his people with peace.” Psalm 29:10-11.

The Flow of the Dance

“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” Isaiah 48:17.

One of the most burned images in my mind is the image of Michael Jackson dancing his way from one illuminated square to the next in the Billy Jean video.  (I had to go watch it just now for old time sake!)   The image of him moving through the city lighting every square with each step made for a great video.  I read that he was told ahead of time that only certain squares would light up, so the dance moves had to fit within the confines of the tiles that would illuminate.  Being the talented dancer that he was, he created moves that looked as if Michael himself was causing them to glow at his touch by an act of will, when in fact not all tiles were designed to light up.  He was directed in the flow of the dance by the desire of the outcome.  While it was permissible for him to dance on any tile he wanted, it would not create the benefit of his goal for the video.

I was comparing this to a principle that God included in His word.  1 Co 10:23 tells us that ‘Everything is permissible (lawful), but not everything is beneficial.’  If that is the case then how do we navigate through life only choosing the things that benefit us?  We must allow God to light up those areas in our lives that have been wired for our benefit.  This was made very clear to me over 14 years ago in my weakness to secretly overspend.  It was perfectly acceptable to go shopping, but for me it became a stronghold instead of an activity.  For me to go shopping during a time when I was lonely, sad or confused was definitely not beneficial to my growth.  Even now God places certain tiles around my weakness that keep me dancing on the right ones...a husband who will hold me accountable…my testimony that would be affected by my stronghold…my desire to please God who has taught me a better way.  We all have our tendencies that are not beneficial to our lives and are contrary to our dreams.  We are all moving and living within our own video, and need the direction of the Holy Spirit to illuminate our way.  Choosing tiles not yet lit can lead us away from our desired life, detouring into darkness.  The Holy Spirit

will direct the flow of our dance if we wait on Him to show us the beneficial and perfect will of God for each of our lives.

“I know what I’m doing.  I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” MSG, Jeremiah 29:11

The Best Welcome Ever!

“When the council members heard Stephen’s speech, they were angry and furious. But Stephen was filled with the Holy Spirit. He looked toward heaven, where he saw our glorious God and Jesus standing at his right side. Then Stephen said, ‘I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right side of God!’ The council members…started throwing stones at him. As Stephen was being stoned to death, he called out, ‘Lord Jesus, please welcome me!’” Acts 7:54-57.

There were three different times in my life when I truly believe the divine peek into heaven that Stephen experienced also was experienced in the life of my family. Grandmother, Daddy and Beth all had those last days when their lives danced on the edges between heaven and earth. Those times when it appeared that they had already seen the glory of heaven and no longer responded to us. In all three instances as I sat there beside them I intently watched their movements. I remember Grandmother actually raising her hand up in the air as she lay there unresponsive. This wasn’t odd to me because I had spent my life periodically standing beside her in church, watching her little arm raise up in approval to the music, and honor to her Father.

Another time, my dad seemed to be asleep near the end but was moving his mouth and speaking whispers with his face towards heaven. He would raise his eyebrows and make gestures that I had watched as a daughter my entire life. As I sat beside Beth near the end, her face towards heaven, a smile would break across that beautiful face with her eyes closed, and hand gestures were made. Beth always used her hands when she would tell a story or having a conversation with someone.

I am convinced that all three during those times were peeking into their new home, and seeing both God and Jesus standing there welcoming them. I can just imagine the open arms of God welcoming grandmother home as His daughter who He lent to this world for 101 years. Oh, how He must have missed her so! I can see a crown being held up for my dad to come and receive for the many years he worked tirelessly in CEF, a ministry bringing children to Christ who didn't know Him. I’ll bet there was a crowd of those whose lives were impacted by Daddy’s service. And I would like to believe that as Beth was peeking into heaven, God was showing her the beautiful garden He had assigned to her. Boy, did she love those flowers and digging into the beautiful soil of the earth.

We have a personal God who personally deals with each of us in love, motivation and blessings both in heaven and on earth. I see heaven through dreams sometimes when I dream of those who have gone before me, but I stand on my spiritual tiptoes as I walk through this world. I don’t want to miss something in the spiritual realm because I was focusing on some silly thing in the earthly realm. I want to peek into heaven at any point that God wishes to reveal its beauty to me. I try to remember the radiant and joyful beauty on the faces of my loved ones as they were peeking into heaven. I don’t think they ever looked back.

Who could blame them?

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away.' And the One seating on the throne said, 'Behold, I make all things new.' Then He said, 'Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.'" Rev 21:3-5.

Racing to the Altar

“The boy Samuel served the LORD. Then the LORD called Samuel…He ran to Eli and said, ‘Here I am; you called me.’ Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD, because the word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him. Once again, for the third time, the LORD called Samuel. He got up, went to Eli, and said, ‘Here I am; you called me.’” 1 Samuel 3:1-7.

I am sitting here with a smile on my face as I am picturing myself as a young 8-year-old girl in our small church in Graham, NC. Every Sunday the preacher called out to the congregation to give our hearts to Jesus and follow Him. These calls always felt very personal to me, as if that man behind that stand knew every wrong thing I had done or thought that week. When he would call out for the opportunity the weight of that calling was always heavy on my heart. More times than not (almost every week) I would bolt down the aisle to give my heart to Jesus…again…and again. Like little Samuel, I really didn’t know who Jesus was at that point or to where I was following Him. My Jesus lived on a felt board in Sunday School, but His Dad called out to me every Sunday to come to the altar. My mother still says that the people in that congregation must have wondered what on earth I was doing away from church to have to run down to the altar weekly.

Samuel eventually grew into a man full of the Lord and was used divinely as a prophet. God had big plans for Samuel through their fellowship, and He has big plans for each of us. We tend to be like the boy Samuel, running towards the things of this world as they beckon our name. We tend to be unable to recognize what God is saying to us as the world screams something different. But thankfully, we have a Father who is relentless in His pursuit of us, motivated by His lavish love for us. He will continue to call out to us until we recognize His voice. He is both consistent and persistent so that we don’t miss His urging and inklings through the gentle nudge of His Spirit. We must take the time to posture ourselves in a position of listening so we can recognize when Jesus is calling.

Some days, I still feel like that little 8-year-old child running towards the altar, needing God to forgive me for unlovely thoughts or behaviors. But that is the beauty of the cross…Jesus went to the altar for us once and for all. For that, my heart is full and our eternity is guaranteed. Oh, what a Savior!

“Jesus said, ‘It is finished.’" John 19:30.