Taming the Beast

“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace – as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.” 1 Co 14:33

Last night I found myself unable to sleep from 1:55 a.m. until 5:00 a.m.  I don’t why I didn’t get out of bed, but I guess I felt like I would eventually go back to sleep.  After an hour or two I was so aggravated because of all nights that I would need sleep it was last night.  Tonight, is our Lancaster girls Christmas gathering and pajama party at my house and I have looked forward to it for a few months.  The only thing missing will be Sheila, one of our ‘sisters’ who lives in Pennsylvania and could not make it down on that date.  The girls are used to me being the first one to turn in so it will come as no shock to them when I disappear upstairs earlier than later.  I remember thinking through the night that all I wanted was a good night sleep, feeling like God certainly could have accommodated that small petition.  I was immediately struck with conviction followed by gratitude that painful circumstances were not the reason I couldn’t sleep.  Several people I know came to mind at that point and I imagined that we were also awake through the night but for overwhelming reasons that would still be there in the morning.

It is so easy to fear the worse-case scenarios when life seems out of control.  I remember those nights well from past burdens that seemed too heavy for my heart to bear.  So many times, our mind is the battleground between us and God…between faith and fear…between disbelief and trust.  The quote from Mark Twain certainly brings truth from my past fears of what ‘could happen.’  He stated, ‘I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life.  Most of them never happened.’  God tells us He will never leave our side, but we convince ourselves that we will forever be alone.  He tells us that He will always provide everything we need, but we fear that we won’t have the provisions to live.  He tells us that He changes seasons and reigns in perfect order, but we believe that our life will always look like it does now.  ‘When we try to take control, we ultimately leave no room for God to be God.  We live in the harshness of the worst-case scenario, even though that probably isn’t our reality at all.  We get triggered by a small fear, and instead of taming the thought, we feed it.  We magnify it.  We let it dictate our reaction.  Everything gets blown out of proportion.’ Trustworthy, Lysa TerKeurst, p. 66.  Wow!  She just called me out!

Why is so easy to trust God with our eternity, but distrust Him with our seasons of uncertainty?  We must tame the beast by starving the thoughts that deteriorate our trust in God.  By staying in God’s word and reminding our minds of His promises we can experience God’s peace in all of our troubled times.