An Index Card Prayer

“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father…” Matthew 6:6

As we continue to run full-board out of 2021, I tend to reflect on the landscape of the last 365 days. There have such great moments in the past year for our family, but certainly the peppering of heartbreak was also sprinkled throughout the year. I’ve never been a person who dwells on the past, but I don’t say this with pride. Being a middle child, I’ve always sought harmony so the thought of re-living chaotic and sad times has no lure for me. But the older I get the more I see that considering our tough times is a form of worship because it is proof positive that God moved us through it and out of it. It reminds me of when my grandchildren’s dad unexpectedly died over seven years ago.

A few years after he died, I was over at my daughter’s house babysitting the kids for the weekend. I followed Kherington upstairs to say prayers with her and tuck her in. On her bed was an index card taped to the frame that was a prayer which I will never forget. She was thanking God for the family she still had. She was trusting God to care for her dad while in Heaven. She was affirming that God is still good and worthy for her belief in Him.

Gratitude...trust...belief. These are the things I want as my companions as I move through the threshold and into the year of 2022. I have always considered her little index card prayer to be a broken hallelujah which we can offer. A commitment to continue talking to God despite our broken hearts...a discipline to name the things for which we are grateful instead of focusing on what we do not have...a firm belief that God is who He says He was no matter what happens.

My broken hallelujah is for my precious friend Micki who now walks the streets of Heaven. With a broken heart, I shout joy for her as she is perfectly healed and will never be sick again. With a broken heart for my friends who lost parents and siblings, I praise God that they were all Christians and are now living where we will one day join them. I shout hallelujah with a broken heart for our country, but a firm belief that God will light the fire of revival in 2022.

There are so many blessings that God is giving us daily, but we are not guaranteed a life without troubles. I pray in 2022 we are able to walk the balance of pain and joy...heartbrokenness and acceptance...discouragement and faith. May we all approach our Father with a child’s heart and an index card prayer of a broken hallelujah.

Because We Believe

“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Job 2:10

I don’t believe it is an exaggeration to state that 2021 was a challenging year at best... a heartbreaking year at worst. I have witnessed the pandemic stripping innumerable families of loved ones and it’s not finished yet. I have watched marriages be torn apart in an unprecedented time of stress. I have seen businesses that were built on grit, sweat and sacrifice shutter and fail. I have watched loves ones bid farewell to parents and siblings, and I have lost one of my best friends. On the other side of ‘trouble’ as our verse calls it, I have joyfully received my 5th grandchild. I have watched Bruce receive great vision after cataract surgeries. With a grateful heart, I watched my mother turn 86 this year. I’m so proud of my baby sister who opened Seasons 311, a counseling practice for those navigating their own troubles. And while I consider the good and the trouble, my thoughts are suddenly given expression through the ponderings of Anthony Evans, Jr. co-author of Divine Disruption – Holding on to Faith When Life Breaks Your Heart, p. 12.

He asks, ‘How can we reconcile the kindness of God when He allows such difficult things? What do you do when you are disappointed with God? How do you balance the goodness of God with the tragedies of life?’ Tough questions...challenging thoughts. These were questions that Tony, Jr. asked his father who is a famous pastor in Texas. Through his tears he was experiencing from loss and grief, his dad answered, ‘Because I believe what I preach. Where would I be in a situation like this without an anchor? I believe in the sovereignty and goodness of God. And because I believe, I keep going...We have to believe that God knows what He is doing when He’s not doing what we want Him to do. Death and timing belong to God, and He doesn’t allow me into that space.’ Wow!

There is great comfort when we believe in God’s goodness in spite of our circumstances. There is great freedom in taking our disappointment and anger to God regarding our suffering. We only have to look as far as Jesus to see that God allows the good and the bad to flow into our lives. Christ walked out His excruciating journey which had both wonderful and devastating seasons. But Christ new what we should remember. This is not our home and we are only passing through this place to a permanent one where there will be no more tears...no more troubles...no more sin... no more sickness. With or without God, we are still going to experience the troubles of this world, so why wouldn’t we chose the One who can carry us through it with peace and hope.

Thinking About These Things

“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace...” 1 Co 14:33

I woke up this morning and man am I tired! We hosted the Emmons' Christmas on Saturday afternoon and night, followed by the Miller Christmas the following day. I always pride myself in the expediency of clean-up after the event. Usually, by the time I go to bed 98% of my home looks as if nothing had occurred over the last 24 hours. That 2% the following morning is completed before Bruce ever comes downstairs. But this morning I came down to the same chaos I felt too tired to clean last night. All three guest rooms had beds with the covers twisted and piled in chaos. Several rooms had scattered clean dishes to put away until next year. A sink of dirty dishes lay floating in cold water, and a full dishwasher of clean dishes were waiting to be put away. Even as I sit here typing this, the persistent beep from my smoke detector demanding a new battery is maddening!

How on earth did the chaos occur? Why on earth didn't I do more last night so I wouldn't have to face it this morning? Bored? Tired? Getting sick perhaps? Looking around I found myself feeling discouraged, exhausted, and irritated. I began focusing on things in my life that seem a little chaotic at present. Pretty soon I was considering the things in my life that make me irritated and downright 'salty' as one of my best friends say. How did my 'tired' turn into my 'twisted imagination' of everything going wrong?

It is so easy to talk ourselves into discouragement and disillusionment when life seems chaotic. So many times, our mind is the battleground between us and God. He tells us that He changes seasons and reigns in perfect order, but we believe that our life will always look like it does now. ‘When we try to control the chaos, we ultimately leave no room for God to be God. We live in the harshness of the worst-case scenarios, even though that probably isn’t our reality at all. We get triggered by a small fear [or irritation], and instead of taming the thought, we feed it. We magnify it. We let it dictate our reaction. Everything gets blown out of proportion.’ Trustworthy, Lysa TerKeurst, p. 66.

We must tame the beast by starving the thoughts that deteriorate our confidence in God. By staying in God’s word and reminding our minds of His promises we can experience God’s peace in all of our troubled times. When the chaos starts demanding my thought participation I must remember the beautiful invitation from Philippians 4:8.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Wherever They Are

“Father, I want everyone you have given me to be with me, wherever I am. Then they will see the glory you have given me, because you loved me before the world was created.” John 17:24

This morning during my prayer time, I was asking God for His blessing over our time this Sunday, when the Miller crew of 32 get together to celebrate Christmas. It is always wild, loud, and confusing but I like it that way! Four generations will burst through our front doors in a matter of minutes and the walls will once again witness for a 36th time this home filled with love, laughter, and legacy. As soon as I asked for His blessing, today’s verse came to my mind in a way it never has before, and I knew I would write about it.

I was picturing Jesus stating this prayer to God hours before the cross was erected so all could witness His death. I can just hear His prayerful whisper but He wasn’t praying for Himself. He was praying for those whom God had given Him...His friends...His family...His people...you...me. His plea? That they end up with Him wherever He would be. Jesus was at the end of His life and His family and friends knew it. Oh, how that resonates with me this morning as I survey the landscape of 2021. Was that the prayer of our sweet ones who were lifted to Heaven this past year? While we saw their lives ebbing away, I’m confident they were seeing their lives just beginning. While we heard silence God was hearing their request to bring us also there one day and share in the glory they were presently seeing.

Jesus had them on His mind at the very end of life and I am given comfort this morning that so did our loved ones. They were seeing the beautiful opening of the gates with the bright Light streaming in as this world was fading away. They were hearing the majestic music of Heaven as the sounds of their rooms became distant. They were being sworn in as a permanent resident of the place where Jesus went. It was the desire of Jesus then and it is still the desire of Jesus now...that everyone whom God has given will be where Christ is.

Everyone in our circle...whether family, friends or foe...have been given to us by God since before we were born. It is up to us to bring unity among these precious gifts never forgetting that God makes no mistakes. It is up to us to honor those with whom God has chosen for us. What a beautiful prayer we should all consider today and every day.

With One Glance

“...You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes...” Song of Solomon 4:9

It was March of 1984 and I had decided to transfer from Duke Power in Lancaster to the main office in Charlotte. Honestly speaking, the transfer was motivated by my desire to start a new life away from Lancaster. I had married as a 19-year-old and became a mother as a 21-year-old before I had even grown up. I was riddled with insecurities about everything and never felt as if I excelled in anything. I wanted to desperately be the best wife and mother but I had failed at one, and was determined to succeed at the other. The day I went to the Charlotte office I was to meet with my Human Resources person who would facilitate my transfer. I remember that day so well and was tenderly reminded of our first meeting this morning with this verse. The words of King Solomon echoed in my heart as I recalled my first meeting...‘he captured my heart with one glance’ (and a devilish smile). I knew instantly that while I was seeking a job, I had found something so much grander. We have certainly had our ups and downs...our heartaches and joys...our failures and successes. But we always return to those early feelings that fueled our heart and still do 37 years later.

Our spiritual journey with God is no different. The Song of Solomon, although the characters were real, is a book that symbolizes the intense love of the Father. He was mindful of us before He ever formed us. With the very breath of the Creator, we were born into this world through the motivation of His perfect love. He created us perfectly from His image and we were captivated by His heart at first glance. As in my marriage with all its ebbs and flows, we also have quite a lifetime of stories with God ...crazy twists and turns...failures and successes...heartbreaks and joys.

Isn’t it easy to lose sight of the fact that we still capture God’s heart every second? Isn’t it amazing that He still desires to glance into our eyes when we can’t seem to make eye contact with Him? Don’t we sometimes feel like that little 24-year-old girl of yesterday whose failure could have defined her had she not opened her heart to try again?

We must remember that before we ever sinned God knew us perfectly to the core and adored us. He knew we would acquiesce to the flesh but He created us anyway. He was aware of the sin that would tempt and entangle us, yet He provided a way out through Christ no matter what we did. All of our years ago, when we first opened our eyes to this tough world, we captivated God’s heart with one glance...and we still do...because although we may change God does not and neither does His love.