Pregnant With Twins

“The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, ‘Why is this happening to me?’  So she went to inquire of the LORD.  ‘Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.  When the time came for her to give birth…’” Gen 25:22-23.

There have been times in my life when I repeatedly inquired of the Lord with the same cry Rebekkah pled to God…Why this, why now and why me?  Although physically speaking, I am a mature woman I realize that spiritually speaking I am an adolescent.  The war between the older flesh and the youthful spirit jostles within me like these twin boys.  The flesh jockeys to reclaim areas in my life where the spirit has laid claim.  The flesh has possessed more acreage in my life over the course of 51 years than I care to admit. 

The only way these two can be separated is through the growth of the spirit and the death of the flesh.   It is an internal war between the two and only one can win out.  One will deplete the strength and power of the other.  We cannot nurture both for there is only space enough for one in our hearts.  The flesh has always been stronger in my heart and has done more destruction in my life.  But over the past seven years, God sent circumstances into my life that were tough to understand, leaving me with the feeling of being spiritually picked on.  Now I can see that God wanted the ‘older to serve the younger.’  He wanted the flesh to be lagging behind as the spirit moved in my life with leaps and bounds.  Through the wrestling of my soul God showed me the division between the twins – the flesh and the spirit. 

When anything happens that I cannot understand I try to remember that this is new acreage that God wants to allot to the spirit so I try to step aside and let the wrestling match begin.  We will give birth to the flesh or to the spirit but we cannot give equal time to both.  The nurturing of one will choke out the life of the other.

‘People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God…’ 2 Tim 3:2-5.