Woman in the Mirror

“For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

It was a great weekend because we had our granddaughter Kherington over to spend the night. She will be twelve soon and is going into middle school in a few months. Like most young girls, her focus has somewhat shifted from dolls to lip gloss, and from coloring pictures to coloring strands of her hair with bright colors. Her heart is the very same but her looks are transforming into the characteristics of a pre-teen. Saturday night we were in my bathroom as she was setting out her essentials…cleanser, toner and moisturizer. She had just washed her face and brushed her hair and teeth and we were facing the mirror side by side. As I looked at her beautiful smooth skin, her large round brown eyes and her shiny thick hair my eyes drifted to my face in the mirror. It was almost shocking to see the difference between that 12-year-old and this soon-to-be 59-year old. My once-round large brown eyes now puffy and tired…my once-shiny thick hair more brittle and duller…my once smooth tight skin now boasting deep facial lines and sun-spot markings. When I laid in the bed that night, I considered a life that spanned our age difference and the challenges that contributed to the woman in the mirror. But then, God settled the Bible verse above in my mind and heart, and I was overcome with love and gratitude.

You see, the 12-year-old who looked back at me all those years ago, had no idea the life that was before her. She had no idea the mistakes and failures that she would have to think about years after they were experienced. She had no idea about divorce…prodigal children…marital complications. But the greatest mystery that she had yet to experience was bringing Jesus into her life at such a deep level that her reflection wouldn’t be defined by make-up and curlers. Her reflection would be defined by the love in her heart for Jesus that wouldn’t come until she was in her 40’s. 

When we align ourselves with the world’s fickle definition of beauty, we will always see ourselves from a standpoint of losses. But when we gain our value from God who sees our inside beauty our reflection is more Christ-like...nothing but gain. We no longer compare ourselves to people, but see ourselves in the transforming light of Christ. There is no greater beauty than the beauty that flows from a heart who carries the light of Jesus. I see that same beauty from so many of you on the other side of this screen. When we are walking in the spirit we are using the greatest anti-aging weapon on earth and in heaven.

Full Hands

“So the LORD said to him, ‘What is that in your hand?'” Exodus 4:1b

At first glance this question seems pretty straight forward, but nothing about this was straight forward. This was God’s response to Moses when he was given a glimpse into his future. Moses immediately began making excuses for not completing the assignment God had given him. As Moses stood there conversing with God regarding the unknown future of his assignment, Moses was leaning on his staff no doubt. Moses staff was the vocational tool needed to guide the sheep, and to gently nudge the ones who strayed back into the fold. Moses answered God’s question about the tool in his hand. God told him to throw it down and when he did it turned into a serpent. Moses was instructed to pick it up by the tail and when he did it returned to his staff. God’s point was that whatever Moses was instructed to do God would infuse His power into what Moses already possessed to accomplish the future plan. The lack of confidence continued for more discussion, but in the end, Moses fully understood that He had been called to an unknown future and now he had to wait for the appointed time.

I’ll bet all of us can relate to being called to an unknown future with our nation being turned upside down between the virus and the violence. It’s enough to make us all lose our confidence in any sense of our future. ‘But God did not give us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.’ (2 Timothy 1:7). He has given us everything that we will need to face our future, but until then we must wait well WITH Him, not wait ON Him. It is easy to wrestle with our doubts when considering an unknown tomorrow. We can combat our fear by reminding ourselves that our future is secure in the Lord and has been perfectly planned for each of us. ‘Fear forces our mind to oppose the truth we know about God. Looking forward to the future has the potential to be intimidating when things are bleak or unclear. We just need to relax in the pause, stay present in the present, and embrace God’s plan. Staying present is where we experience God. The present is where we sense God’s nearness, see His power, and are seasoned with His love.’ Wait and See, Wendy Pope, p. 25-26.

Just like the staff of Moses, God has given us everything we need in His word to move forward in courage and faith. When we hold our Bibles daily in our hands, we hold God’s power, truth and promise. That is our answer to the world's question of ‘What is that in your hand?’

Waiting Well

“There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Then behold, my sheaf arose…and indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf.” Ge 37:7

I am one of four daughters and as many of you are well aware, siblinghood can get messy with jealousy, resentment and disharmony. It happened many times but thankfully we had parents who were awesome referees. Our story this morning, is very entertaining as we witness the baby of the family (Rachel’s son) bragging about a dream wherein his brothers bowed before him. They already despised him so this dream drove deeper division between them. One day in the field they saw Joseph approaching them and they devised a plan to kill him. Upon further consideration they opted to sell him to a group of Ishmaelites. We must remember that Joseph was completely confident that the dreams he had of reigning over his family were things to come. So, as the money was exchanged and suddenly Joseph went from favored to slave, what were his thoughts? I can imagine he questioned God with confusion. ‘How can I be master over my family when I have just been purchased to be a slave? Did I hear you incorrectly Lord? How can your plans and promises for me be fulfilled when circumstances are tracking in the wrong direction?’

I know that there in things tucked in my heart that God has promised me. Like Joseph there are circumstances that are moving further away from answered prayers. In my new Bible Study, Wait and See author Wendy Pope writes, ‘God won’t waste our wait, and neither should we.’ p. 14. What Joseph didn’t know was although his brothers at that moment had total authority over him, God was going to use the Ishmaelites as a stepping stone towards the fulfillment of the prophesy. God eventually made Joseph second in command in the land as a result of that transaction in the field. God prepared him through the wait for future blessings that prospered him beyond imagination. I’ll bet you also have dreams waiting to become a reality. I’m confident that sometimes circumstances appear to be tracking in the opposite direction. We must believe that the same God who used captivity to bring about freedom is the same God who will use our unanswered prayers to bring about resolution to our concerns. So here we are…with palms up and knees down…waiting…watching…wondering. ‘Waiting well teaches us to trust God’s ways rather than doubt His delays.’ p. 13.

Seeing the Story Through

"And I have such desire to find the signification of this thing that I would not by my good will turn back for the richest jewel in all Narnia and all the islands...let us go on and take the adventure that shall fall to us.” C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

I’m not sure which page this quote comes from but it has certainly touched my heart this morning as I complete my Bible study, Jesus & Women by Kristi McLelland. As she was bringing this study to a close, she dropped this relic in the middle of one of the final pages. She was writing about the spiritual rhythm of ‘remembering and celebrating’ as we look backwards recounting all of God’s faithfulness and looking forward celebrating everything He will do up ahead. When reading C.S. Lewis’s quote, I couldn’t help but to remember the journey God began with me in 2006. Little did I know the adventures that I would be whisked into with such joy and excitement. Little did I know of some of the heartbreaks that God would have to drag me through. But as the quote states, ‘I would not by my good will turn back for the richest jewel…’ I will ‘go on and take the adventure that shall fall to me.’ I can’t express the beautiful symphony of remembering and celebrating better than Kristi’s closing thoughts.

‘I believe God put these spiritual practices [remembering and celebrating] before His people because He knows that we are a forgetful people. We tend to most easily forget the faithfulness of the Lord, because life kicks us all in the gut. The pain of the immediate can make it harder to remember what He has done and the promise of what He will do. These rhythms anchor us in reality…Remembering takes us back to the actual historical record of who God is and how He has not failed us yet, nor will He ever fail us. 

There’s something about remembering in a way of active celebration that moves us forward – encouraged, emboldened, and courageous enough to lean into the thing in front of us…It reminds us God is going to see the story all the way through, shepherding us and this whole crazy world back to ‘shalom’, harmony, wholeness, delight and communion with God’ p. 136.

Writing in the Sand

“But what do you say?” John 8:5b

Five words that were drenched in judgment, condemnation and deceit. They were words of the religious leaders, the Pharisees, who attempted to entrap Jesus one Sunday. They brought in a woman caught in the act of adultery and asked Jesus what He would say regarding this adulteress. At that time Jesus bent down and began writing in the sand. Scholars believe that Jesus was writing the Law from Leviticus which clearly stated both adulterer and adulteress should be stoned. I wonder if it was Jesus’s way of communicating with the Pharisees that their motives were clear. If they really cared about the Law and justice, both parties would be thrown in the center of the circle. Jesus stood up and His next words began tearing their intent down like a demolition ball swinging into a structure. ‘He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first’ John 8:7. Again, Jesus bent down and began writing in the sand. Scholars believe that Jesus was writing the names of her accusers and revealing their sin next to their name. One by one, the men turned and walked away leaving the woman alone with Jesus who fully forgave her.

There have been seasons in my life when I deserved to be thrown in the middle of the circle for Jesus to judge. There have been times in my life when I have pointed out to Jesus the infractions of others demanding justice. Jesus seems to always write in the sand of my heart the conviction I need for judging others when I have my own sins. When I repent and need forgiveness, He always points to His palms to remind me that through His sacrifice I am cleansed and fully forgiven. I’m so thankful for these stories from the Bible that continues to both convict and challenge…cleanse and reconcile. The final words of Jesus spoken to the adulteress are the final words regarding any sin from which we have repented, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.’ John 8:11.

The Running Father

“But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and…kissed him.” Luke 15:20

The heading for this parable told by Jesus and written in the Bible is simply ‘The Parable of the Lost Son.’  This parable has always had such a special place in my heart since I also had a lost child.  For over 8 years I watched and waited for her to return to a place of faith, family and wholeness in health.  I know what it feels like to have delayed answered prayers.  I know how heartbreaking it is as a parent to be unaware of whether your child is still alive.  But this morning, I am blessed to view this parable through the eyes of Middle Easterners.  While we view this story as a story of a lost son, they view this story as the story of a running father.  We tend to place our focus on the negative…what is lost…while they keep their gaze steady on God and what He does for us.  Kristi McLelland, the author of my Bible study Jesus & Women encouraged the reader to shift the focus in our own stories to God rather than our circumstances.

I remember when my father-in-law lived with us with Alzheimer’s, I was depleted, exhausted and had no idea how long that season would be.  I can remember the day when I knelt in the loft and prayed to God that I didn’t think I could do it another day.  He suddenly lifted the thought of Hospice to my mind which gave me the support to walk out the remaining days.  If I had to label a heading to that experience it would have been the story of the broken woman.  But today I will view it through the focus of our middle eastern friends.  The new heading for that season will forever be the story of the Father who gave wisdom generously.  When I think of the story that I had labeled, the years of my secret sin of spending, I’ll now rename that season as the story of the forgiving spirit God gave my husband.  

Changing our focus from our circumstances and failures to God and His faithful provisions keep us grounded in gratitude, humility and triumphant victories throughout all our seasons. 

“If any of you lacks…you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."  James 1:5

Heavenly Sprouts

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, produces many seeds.” John 12: 24

I cannot remember what grade I was in but I do recall it was in my elementary school years. Everyone in the class was given a small seed and plastic container with small holes for drainage. We took a spoon and dug in the provided soil filling our new home to plant a seedling. The teacher told us what we could expect if over the following little while we tended to our project. We were told the exact amount and frequently to water the soil. Several times a day I would sit in front of the container staring at the soil, sometimes imagining that I was seeing a tiny green breakthrough. Finally, one day a beautiful bright green sprout broke through the soil. I cannot tell you how excited I was to know that my little hands had provided the soil, planted the seed and watered the area. I felt such a sense of accomplishment and continued to care for the plant. 

I can’t help but to think about God planting us in His provided circumstances knowing that our faith will eventually sprout new growth. He waters it with details that only He can foresee will be needed. He knows what earthly dirt needs to drain out of our lives. I wonder how many times a day He comes and just sits…patiently watches…looking to find a new sprout. 

We all have spiritual growth in the hands of Jesus and He is neither hurried nor impatient in allowing time for us to produce new sprouts. We are constantly given seeds to plant…resources to help others… time to help those in need…godly wisdom to share with others…encouragement to those who are despaired. When we plant our seeds in God’s kingdom, things begin to multiply…prayers begin to intensify…miracles begin to qualify. Whatever seed you hold, plant it where God leads and watch where God will take it.

Renderings in the Sand

“We write our afflictions on marble, our mercies upon sand.” Charles Spurgeon

I remember when I was a small girl, I loved drawing pictures and writing my name in the sand. I would lay my towel near the hearts I had drawn and signed. As the morning turned into the afternoon, the tide would sneak up on my artwork and distort my signature. Or even worse, a walker would step through my renderings and scatter sand across the picture. 

My grandmother loved Charles Spurgeon and his name frequently shows up in her journals of 62 years. I read this quote for the first time this morning and I couldn’t get it out of my mind. How true this statement has been for me during seasons of suffering. Over the entire scope of my life I can ‘remember’ times where I hung on to the afflictions brought on by others. My tears, resentment and bitterness were ‘etched into the marble of my mind and heart.’ Mercies upon the sand…forgotten gratitude for the other 99% of the time when God gracefully blessed me and mercifully forgave me. Why is it so easy for tough circumstances to sneak up on past mercies and distort our picture of God? Why do we allow Satan to walk through our pictures of God’s past faithfulness and scatter lies across our mind? Why is so difficult to etch the mercies in stone and lay our afflictions in the sand where they are washed away by time? We choose what it is we wish to remember…to meditate upon…to give power to…to etch in stone. ‘In the Hebrew culture, remembering is actually considered a forward-moving practice. Remembering is the way to…step into the unknown future…remembering God’s faithful record…remembering to move forward with renewed faith and hope in God.’ Jesus & Women, Kristi McLelland, p. 96. 

“I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.” Psalm 77:11

Staring at God

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

This time last year was a very exciting season in the life of my youngest child. Last April she and her love got engaged and we began planning the perfect wedding. I won’t bore you with all the details of our vision but everything quickly unraveled with the virus. We went from a wedding of 180 at a museum to a small family and partial wedding party gathering in our back yard on June 13th. Over the past 6 weeks Bruce and I have exhaustingly transformed our woods and home into a wedding venue. I had become consumed with all the things required to pull this off and then I read this statement which convicted my heart. ‘We tend to stare at our lives and glance at God. We want to stare at God and glance at our lives.’ Jesus & Women, Kristi McLelland, p. 12. It fell upon me as a boulder from heaven and jarred my attention to how much I had been staring at our life. In addition, my pastor asked our prayer team to read about one of church members on FB, Bethany’s Butterflies. I became undone after reading her story and following the day to day heartbreak. Glancing at her story was glancing at God because you cannot follow that depth of need without crying out to Him on their behalf. 

God caught my attention by running my earthly chatter about the wedding parallel to spiritual chatter to God about this little girl. Glancing at God is never better experienced than when the prayer needs for another are great. Glancing at God is taking our mind off of restrictions in place because of the virus, and putting them on the injustice of police brutality in certain cases. I want to remember to only glance at my life but to stare at Jesus. I don’t want to miss a thing of what He can do in the lives of hurting people through prayer. I want to be witness to His power…to His presence…to His purpose in everything occurring around me. 

As we go into the week-end, I pray that each of us will stare at God and just shoot a quick glance at our life. ‘When we focus on…what concerns God, we devote more of our time and attention to Him, and the cares of our lives dim in comparison. As we behold Him, we are changed. Staring at God will change us in ways focusing on ourselves never can.’ p. 79