Power of the Past

“The unfolding of His words gives light. It gives understanding to the simple” Psalm 119:130.

Growing up we lived in a beautiful Georgian style home with plenty of room to roam on five acres. Some of my most precious memories reside in the rooms and hallways of that country home. Eventually, Mother and Daddy moved into another home and the doors of my childhood closed forever. I don’t know why that was so devastating for me, but I carried the effects deep into my adult life. I would dream about moving back in to that home as the new owner. I even dreamed that I bought it and turned it into a restaurant. I cannot express enough how emotionally captive I was regarding the unavailability of that home. I even stopped in the current owner’s drive when I was in my 30’s with my children. I wanted them to see the most perfect place on earth. The owner came out and invited us to go through the home which was such a blessing, but also a heart break…a reminder that we can never really go home.

Fast forward 20 years and lean in to a discussion between me and my husband. We have lived in our home for 30 years and raised our children on acreage similar to my childhood. I have constantly drawn parallels between the two and have prayed that they experienced the same happiness that I experienced. The conversation was considering selling our home and moving to a smaller place in preparation for our ‘golden years.’ Nothing in me felt golden about that! I remember feeling like that little girl who had the locks changed on her decades ago. I was in tears and couldn’t continue the conversation, so I walked down to the swing in our back yard. I began praying that God would work in this area to set me free from this emotional stronghold. After time with God I wiped my face dry and continued with my day, but not the conversation. The following morning as I was turning the pages of Scripture, God led me to Psalm 119. Honestly, I had never read this chapter before because of the length of it, but this morning was different. I was looking for a key to my emotional healing that would be stronger than the key to my childhood home. As I turned the pages of Psalm 119 God unlocked this emotional topic forever in verse 54. ‘Your decrees are the theme of my song wherever I lodge.’ There it was in black and white…the light in my darkness…the key to the lock. God showed me that when I make His plans for my life my plans then it doesn’t matter where I live…there will be freedom…there will be joy…there will be peace in my inner self. He shone light where darkness resided and gave me freedom where my heart was imprisoned.

We all have secret prisons in our hearts that need God’s releasing…fear for the future that paralyzes us …unmet expectations that have embittered us…past wounds that have defined us. The answer to all of these emotional strongholds lives in the unfolding of God’s word. He will release us from emotional challenges when we give Him the access to both heal and hold us.

‘Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me’ Ph 3:12.