This Far

“Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said: ‘Who am I, Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?’” 2 Samuel 7:18

Most mornings I grab a cup of coffee as soon as I get up which is normally before the sun gets up. This morning was no different, but I also grabbed my little red blanket and went out on the dark patio. There was the most delicate chill in the air reminding me that Fall is almost upon us. I was listening to my worship music which I always do to get myself postured for my prayer time. As I began to pray, I was overcome with where God has taken me but also where I have regretfully taken myself in past years. Places that I never should have like the pursuit of image…places of secret spending that almost wrecked my marriage…places of unforgiveness towards certain people in my life. But as I was forming the words of regret God lifted this verse to my mind and onto my heart. It is one of my favorite verses and certainly one that readjusted my prayers to intense gratitude instead of shame. David’s prayer from a few thousand years ago express my prayer this morning. ‘Who am I and who is my family to whom you have brought great favor and blessings? Who are we and how is it that you have brought us this far in our life when we have done so little for You?’ These are the thoughts that fueled my worship this morning and powered my prayers.

My ‘this far’ is recalling how God interrupted my life of pursuing image 16 years ago and turned my heart to Him. My ‘this far’ is how He watched over and protected my daughter for 8 years as darkness overtook her and transformed her life into one of service and testimony. My ‘this far’ is His healing in my marriage when I had done so much to fracture it. My ‘this far’ is the amazing love that my children and grandchildren have for me. It is waking up beside Bruce who has such a deep love for God and family, and thankful that he's mine. Who am I to still have my sweet mother while so many do not? Who am I to receive complete forgiveness from God when I have withheld it from others? Who am I to be given the freedom from God that I will pursue His approval and acceptance over man’s?

I am who God says I am and so are you. He says that we are loved enough that He temporarily gave up His only Son so He would have us permanently in Heaven. He says that we are a chosen people, holy and righteous because of Christ Jesus. He promises that where the Spirit is, we will have freedom! He says that we will never walk alone on earth and that He has beautiful plans for every one of us. He says that His love for us is not based on our performance for Him. Being still…giving Him our devotion …serving in His kingdom. I’m confident that your ‘this far’ is also one of humility, gratitude and deep reference for the One who has brought you this point in your life.

Let us walk in the beauty of the favor of the Lord!