“Every day we are faced with choices. From the insignificant to the impactful, our life can be summed up with a series of choices. One foot in front of the other, to the left or to the right, sometimes forward and sometimes back, we take action or an inaction that leads us…through the wilderness, across the river, or into battle. But within each choice lies only two outcomes: one step closer to God or one step away from Him. We are changed by the choices we make.” Ready – Having the Courage to Face the Unknown, Heather M Dixon, p. 154.
This paragraph immediately prompted me to consider the year when Bruce’s dad came to live with us. He had Alzheimer’s and the choice to bring him to our home was an easy choice because it meant he didn’t have to go to a nursing home. The choice was easy but walking it out was one of the most difficult faith walks I have ever experienced. That year was a battleground between the flesh and the spirit. The choice upfront shrunk in comparison to the monumental daily choice I had to make to lay down my own agenda and crummy emotions. I found myself on the best of days grumbling and battling resentment… guilt… exhaustion...impatience. ‘Sometimes forward and sometimes back’ was the melody of my out of tune heart. The devil was trying hard to show me the unlovely part of my heart while Jesus was trying to convince me that the choice was noble but the daily journey difficult. Throughout the day as I passed by a mirror, I would see a woman playing the victim…a woman taking credit for things in a desperate attempt to win! Through a series of choices throughout that year, God took me to dark places but not out of punishment. He took me to dark places to work on my heart…to break old flesh patterns…to bring me freedom from myself. I was changed by the choices I made throughout that year, but man was it a battle. I was in constant need to forgive myself for the emotions I was feeling. I was in constant need for forgiveness from God for not forgiving others during this season. I was in need and Jesus met my needs at every turn, breaking old habits and creating a new person. I still have many flaws and I still need transforming but I know that one of the darkest years allowed some of the brightest Light into my heart.
I know many of you are living out your choices…some brought on by you…some brought on by others… and some brought on by a broken world of sin and sickness. Whatever our seasons are, each day we have the opportunity to choose to lean into Jesus or to lean into our emotions. We have the choice to plant our feet in the Word of God where promises live…examples of choices testified…where freedom reigns. We are certainly changed by the choices we make but everyday provides a backdrop for getting one step closer to God.
“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” De 30:19
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