An Index Card Prayer

“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father…” Matthew 6:6

As we continue to run full-board out of 2021, I tend to reflect on the landscape of the last 365 days. There have such great moments in the past year for our family, but certainly the peppering of heartbreak was also sprinkled throughout the year. I’ve never been a person who dwells on the past, but I don’t say this with pride. Being a middle child, I’ve always sought harmony so the thought of re-living chaotic and sad times has no lure for me. But the older I get the more I see that considering our tough times is a form of worship because it is proof positive that God moved us through it and out of it. It reminds me of when my grandchildren’s dad unexpectedly died over seven years ago.

A few years after he died, I was over at my daughter’s house babysitting the kids for the weekend. I followed Kherington upstairs to say prayers with her and tuck her in. On her bed was an index card taped to the frame that was a prayer which I will never forget. She was thanking God for the family she still had. She was trusting God to care for her dad while in Heaven. She was affirming that God is still good and worthy for her belief in Him.

Gratitude...trust...belief. These are the things I want as my companions as I move through the threshold and into the year of 2022. I have always considered her little index card prayer to be a broken hallelujah which we can offer. A commitment to continue talking to God despite our broken hearts...a discipline to name the things for which we are grateful instead of focusing on what we do not have...a firm belief that God is who He says He was no matter what happens.

My broken hallelujah is for my precious friend Micki who now walks the streets of Heaven. With a broken heart, I shout joy for her as she is perfectly healed and will never be sick again. With a broken heart for my friends who lost parents and siblings, I praise God that they were all Christians and are now living where we will one day join them. I shout hallelujah with a broken heart for our country, but a firm belief that God will light the fire of revival in 2022.

There are so many blessings that God is giving us daily, but we are not guaranteed a life without troubles. I pray in 2022 we are able to walk the balance of pain and joy...heartbrokenness and acceptance...discouragement and faith. May we all approach our Father with a child’s heart and an index card prayer of a broken hallelujah.

Because We Believe

“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Job 2:10

I don’t believe it is an exaggeration to state that 2021 was a challenging year at best... a heartbreaking year at worst. I have witnessed the pandemic stripping innumerable families of loved ones and it’s not finished yet. I have watched marriages be torn apart in an unprecedented time of stress. I have seen businesses that were built on grit, sweat and sacrifice shutter and fail. I have watched loves ones bid farewell to parents and siblings, and I have lost one of my best friends. On the other side of ‘trouble’ as our verse calls it, I have joyfully received my 5th grandchild. I have watched Bruce receive great vision after cataract surgeries. With a grateful heart, I watched my mother turn 86 this year. I’m so proud of my baby sister who opened Seasons 311, a counseling practice for those navigating their own troubles. And while I consider the good and the trouble, my thoughts are suddenly given expression through the ponderings of Anthony Evans, Jr. co-author of Divine Disruption – Holding on to Faith When Life Breaks Your Heart, p. 12.

He asks, ‘How can we reconcile the kindness of God when He allows such difficult things? What do you do when you are disappointed with God? How do you balance the goodness of God with the tragedies of life?’ Tough questions...challenging thoughts. These were questions that Tony, Jr. asked his father who is a famous pastor in Texas. Through his tears he was experiencing from loss and grief, his dad answered, ‘Because I believe what I preach. Where would I be in a situation like this without an anchor? I believe in the sovereignty and goodness of God. And because I believe, I keep going...We have to believe that God knows what He is doing when He’s not doing what we want Him to do. Death and timing belong to God, and He doesn’t allow me into that space.’ Wow!

There is great comfort when we believe in God’s goodness in spite of our circumstances. There is great freedom in taking our disappointment and anger to God regarding our suffering. We only have to look as far as Jesus to see that God allows the good and the bad to flow into our lives. Christ walked out His excruciating journey which had both wonderful and devastating seasons. But Christ new what we should remember. This is not our home and we are only passing through this place to a permanent one where there will be no more tears...no more troubles...no more sin... no more sickness. With or without God, we are still going to experience the troubles of this world, so why wouldn’t we chose the One who can carry us through it with peace and hope.

Thinking About These Things

“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace...” 1 Co 14:33

I woke up this morning and man am I tired! We hosted the Emmons' Christmas on Saturday afternoon and night, followed by the Miller Christmas the following day. I always pride myself in the expediency of clean-up after the event. Usually, by the time I go to bed 98% of my home looks as if nothing had occurred over the last 24 hours. That 2% the following morning is completed before Bruce ever comes downstairs. But this morning I came down to the same chaos I felt too tired to clean last night. All three guest rooms had beds with the covers twisted and piled in chaos. Several rooms had scattered clean dishes to put away until next year. A sink of dirty dishes lay floating in cold water, and a full dishwasher of clean dishes were waiting to be put away. Even as I sit here typing this, the persistent beep from my smoke detector demanding a new battery is maddening!

How on earth did the chaos occur? Why on earth didn't I do more last night so I wouldn't have to face it this morning? Bored? Tired? Getting sick perhaps? Looking around I found myself feeling discouraged, exhausted, and irritated. I began focusing on things in my life that seem a little chaotic at present. Pretty soon I was considering the things in my life that make me irritated and downright 'salty' as one of my best friends say. How did my 'tired' turn into my 'twisted imagination' of everything going wrong?

It is so easy to talk ourselves into discouragement and disillusionment when life seems chaotic. So many times, our mind is the battleground between us and God. He tells us that He changes seasons and reigns in perfect order, but we believe that our life will always look like it does now. ‘When we try to control the chaos, we ultimately leave no room for God to be God. We live in the harshness of the worst-case scenarios, even though that probably isn’t our reality at all. We get triggered by a small fear [or irritation], and instead of taming the thought, we feed it. We magnify it. We let it dictate our reaction. Everything gets blown out of proportion.’ Trustworthy, Lysa TerKeurst, p. 66.

We must tame the beast by starving the thoughts that deteriorate our confidence in God. By staying in God’s word and reminding our minds of His promises we can experience God’s peace in all of our troubled times. When the chaos starts demanding my thought participation I must remember the beautiful invitation from Philippians 4:8.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Wherever They Are

“Father, I want everyone you have given me to be with me, wherever I am. Then they will see the glory you have given me, because you loved me before the world was created.” John 17:24

This morning during my prayer time, I was asking God for His blessing over our time this Sunday, when the Miller crew of 32 get together to celebrate Christmas. It is always wild, loud, and confusing but I like it that way! Four generations will burst through our front doors in a matter of minutes and the walls will once again witness for a 36th time this home filled with love, laughter, and legacy. As soon as I asked for His blessing, today’s verse came to my mind in a way it never has before, and I knew I would write about it.

I was picturing Jesus stating this prayer to God hours before the cross was erected so all could witness His death. I can just hear His prayerful whisper but He wasn’t praying for Himself. He was praying for those whom God had given Him...His friends...His family...His people...you...me. His plea? That they end up with Him wherever He would be. Jesus was at the end of His life and His family and friends knew it. Oh, how that resonates with me this morning as I survey the landscape of 2021. Was that the prayer of our sweet ones who were lifted to Heaven this past year? While we saw their lives ebbing away, I’m confident they were seeing their lives just beginning. While we heard silence God was hearing their request to bring us also there one day and share in the glory they were presently seeing.

Jesus had them on His mind at the very end of life and I am given comfort this morning that so did our loved ones. They were seeing the beautiful opening of the gates with the bright Light streaming in as this world was fading away. They were hearing the majestic music of Heaven as the sounds of their rooms became distant. They were being sworn in as a permanent resident of the place where Jesus went. It was the desire of Jesus then and it is still the desire of Jesus now...that everyone whom God has given will be where Christ is.

Everyone in our circle...whether family, friends or foe...have been given to us by God since before we were born. It is up to us to bring unity among these precious gifts never forgetting that God makes no mistakes. It is up to us to honor those with whom God has chosen for us. What a beautiful prayer we should all consider today and every day.

With One Glance

“...You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes...” Song of Solomon 4:9

It was March of 1984 and I had decided to transfer from Duke Power in Lancaster to the main office in Charlotte. Honestly speaking, the transfer was motivated by my desire to start a new life away from Lancaster. I had married as a 19-year-old and became a mother as a 21-year-old before I had even grown up. I was riddled with insecurities about everything and never felt as if I excelled in anything. I wanted to desperately be the best wife and mother but I had failed at one, and was determined to succeed at the other. The day I went to the Charlotte office I was to meet with my Human Resources person who would facilitate my transfer. I remember that day so well and was tenderly reminded of our first meeting this morning with this verse. The words of King Solomon echoed in my heart as I recalled my first meeting...‘he captured my heart with one glance’ (and a devilish smile). I knew instantly that while I was seeking a job, I had found something so much grander. We have certainly had our ups and downs...our heartaches and joys...our failures and successes. But we always return to those early feelings that fueled our heart and still do 37 years later.

Our spiritual journey with God is no different. The Song of Solomon, although the characters were real, is a book that symbolizes the intense love of the Father. He was mindful of us before He ever formed us. With the very breath of the Creator, we were born into this world through the motivation of His perfect love. He created us perfectly from His image and we were captivated by His heart at first glance. As in my marriage with all its ebbs and flows, we also have quite a lifetime of stories with God ...crazy twists and turns...failures and successes...heartbreaks and joys.

Isn’t it easy to lose sight of the fact that we still capture God’s heart every second? Isn’t it amazing that He still desires to glance into our eyes when we can’t seem to make eye contact with Him? Don’t we sometimes feel like that little 24-year-old girl of yesterday whose failure could have defined her had she not opened her heart to try again?

We must remember that before we ever sinned God knew us perfectly to the core and adored us. He knew we would acquiesce to the flesh but He created us anyway. He was aware of the sin that would tempt and entangle us, yet He provided a way out through Christ no matter what we did. All of our years ago, when we first opened our eyes to this tough world, we captivated God’s heart with one glance...and we still do...because although we may change God does not and neither does His love. 

Homestead Rescue

"Because you love me, I will rescue you. I will protect you because you know my name. When you call to me, I will answer you. I will be with you when you are in trouble. I will save you and honor you. I will satisfy you with a long life. I will show you how I will save you." Psalm 91:14-16

Last night I watched a show with Bruce that he had told me about last week. It is called Homestead Rescue which is about the Rainey family who accepts another family’s plea to come and help them save their homestead. Each request comes with very different circumstances that the Raineys must consider when they take the job. They use the resources that the family already possesses coupled with their wisdom and experience to change their living conditions. There was such a stark difference between the husband and wife who were in distress. The husband was humble, attentive, and open to every suggestion the Raineys made. The wife was a dreamer, but not a dreamer of reality...a dreamer of unrealistic demands. Through patient prodding from the Rainey daughter, the wife eventually bought into the ideas but made it clear it was not her dream although their homestead became functional and livable. The husband willingly and thankfully engaged in every suggestion they made and was humbled to tears in the end. It struck me that the husband and wife wanted the same thing, but the attitudes of their heart were as different as night and day. As I sat there watching this from my chair, I was left feeling disappointed in the woman and sympathetic towards the man.

I wonder if that is how God sees us as He quietly nudges us through His spirit trying to work solutions into our lives? Does He reveal small things that we are not doing that could make big differences? Does He suggest through His word subtle changes in our behavior that could lead to righteous living? Are we pleading for a rescue but are as stubborn in what it should look like just as the woman in the show?

I don't have to look far in my life to identify times when God has brought His version of fulfilling a desire of mine. It might have satisfied the request but certainly not the way I had envisioned it. He knows us to the core and fully understands our hearts. He understands the things we need to experience and the growth that must be made in bringing solutions into our circumstances. Last night reminded me that James was right in the Bible when he wrote ‘every good and perfect gift is from above’ James 1:17. Even the ones that dissatisfy us. We must have a heart like the man in the show last night...a heart of acceptance...a heart of humility...a heart of trust. I want God to see me with the same sympathetic heart through which I saw that man last night. I want God to teach me things that I do not presently know. I want Him to show me things I can do better to bring about His pleasure and glory.

I know it’s a tall order but as our passage above promises, He is an infinite Supplier!

With Waning Breaths

“Then he said to Jesus, 'Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom,' Jesus said to him, ‘I assure you and most solemnly say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.” Luke 23:43 (Amplified Bible)

Each Thursday at noon a group of people from our church gather together both in person and virtual to pray for those who have sent prayer requests to our church. Out of all the overwhelming circumstances for which people need encouragement and hope, the one that breaks my heart most are the requests for a dying family member or friend who is not a believer. This morning I read that an individual has been given very little time to live and they are not in the family of Christ. As I was praying for the family such a powerful image came to mind. I pictured Jesus hanging on the cross with very few breaths left in His lungs. As He hung there in pain with His life ebbing away, He heard the man on the cross next to Him address Him. I can just picture Jesus using every bit of strength to turn His head to the criminal. He was asking Jesus to remember Him, referring to Him as Lord. And as one unbeliever chose to believe in a Savior, the Savior chose to receive him into His family in their waning breaths. I doubt anyone even heard them...I doubt anyone was even aware that a life who hung to die on earth had just been granted new life in eternity because of the other One on the cross.

We must pray for the salvation of others because that is their only hope. We cannot know the state of a person’s faith at the very end of their life. However, we can completely trust that God desires no one to perish. Only God knows when the knee bows and the mouth confesses He is Lord even if it is a private exchange when no one is looking or close by.

Just as Christ spent His last few breaths granting a miracle to the undeserved, He moves heaven and earth to grant our undeserved miracles. Some of our circumstances render us ‘lifeless hanging without hope’ until we remember to ask Him to attend to us in our suffering. With our last breath may we have the Lord’s name on our lips like the criminal. May our conversation be with Jesus no matter how dire our future appears. Despite our situations, Christ is always beside us offering new life. Be encouraged that Christ cares about our burdens and fully understands the gravity of our suffering. 

Greater Is He

“Let it be to me according to your word.” Luke 1:38

These are the words that a 13-year-old whispered underneath her breath no doubt flooded with overwhelming emotions. This girl was barely a teenager but was promised in marriage to a young boy. This girl with dreams of marriage up ahead seemed to be like so many other girls who were looking for the next move in a young person’s life. Yet, this young girl’s life was completely up-ended and interrupted from the mouth of God’s messenger. Her name is Mary and her life had just gotten turned upside down. Her emotions must have been a mixed bag of fear, insecurity, and maybe even disbelief. She went from being a favored fiancé to a shamed harlot to some who witnessed her circumstances. Although she could hardly believe it, yet she dared not doubt. Even at the tender age of 13, she received the message with acceptance and a ‘Let it be to me’ mantra that echoed the will of God.

This morning I'm wondering where are you in your life? Do you find yourself in a set of circumstances that you can hardly believe you are in? Is your situation throwing you into a life of chaos, confusion, and pain? Can you even imagine the questions that swirled in young Mary's mind as she had to walk out ‘the word’? If so, you have the same resources to lean into that a scared little 13-year-old girl had. You have the intense love of God looking over your situation and orchestrating every move even if you are paralyzed by fear. You have the promises of Christ that all things are possible with His encouragement that He overcame His circumstances and so will you. You have the Spirit who is within you in full abundance to comfort you, guide you, and give you the wisdom to need to make decisions step by step.

We all have had and will have circumstances interrupt our lives in such a manner that we swear it is our new address forever. But that is the enemy taking full advantage of our vulnerable state. Don’t give him the foothold...don’t take the bait...dare not believe him. God is so much greater than anything we will experience. His power is so much grander than the weakening pulse we feel in our circumstances. We must believe in the process, not man’s process but in the process of the Trinity...God our Father...Jesus our Savior... the Spirit our indweller. Let it be to us that God will rescue us! Let it be to us that Christ will help us overcome all our chaos! Let it be to us that the Spirit will enable and sustain us through it all!

‘But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.’ 1 John 4:4

Be Astonished!

“How long, LORD, must I call for help and you do not listen or cry out to you…and you do not save? Why do you force me to look…” Habakkuk 1:2-3

I have several precious friends going through very difficult times right now. One has been an in-home caregiver to a parent for over 3 years, and the other is facing a mountain of legal and financial challenges regarding past circumstances. I find myself with a heart plea just like Habakkuk. ‘Lord, how long do they have to walk this journey? Why are they forced to continue on the same trajectory that seems to be empty of resolution? Why can’t resources open up? Why can’t things be settled? Why must suffering continue? When will you resolve these things, so their hearts and minds can finally rest?'

I have my own circumstances that frame how long and why not. Yet the very thing that calls my heart back to Him is confidence that He is doing something grander than any ideas I have. I also have gratitude for the prayers that He has answered. ‘Recognizing all the other works God is doing in your life will prevent discouragement as you await your answer.’ Jesus, The One and Only, Beth Moore, p. 13. Those yeses that gave way to celebration…those no’s that invoked deep gratitude for greater wisdom…those maybe’s that keep my hope alive. I am certain that you too have your own ‘how long’ and ‘why’ questions. The Book of Habakkuk is a beautiful book of prayers from a pleading heart, and responses from a gracious and merciful God. It is a melodious symphony of a heart needing comforting and a God who is a Comforter. God didn’t get angry that this man questioned His ways and timing. He didn’t judge him for his weakness. God wasn’t irritated with his impatience. God understood the heart of this man, and God understands our hearts when we hurt…when we are scared…when we are exhausted.

God listened then and God still listens now. He has a perfect plan for every situation we will face, and He has a string of events that must occur before our circumstances change. We cannot lose sight that the timing is as important as the message within the fulfillment. The timing is what amplifies its authenticity while we await God’s yes. Even when things are not changing in our circumstances, our hearts are changing because we are more dependent on God. He holds the answers, He determines the timing and He blows our minds when the resolutions finally come. We can be fully confident that when our circumstances resolve, we will be able to trace His fingerprints through it all. ‘In His vast kindness towards us, in His knowledge of our frailty, God lets us ask our questions…A wider vision changes everything. If we are looking – I mean really looking – we’ll see the traces of God’s hand all around us. Already speaking, already moving, already working things into the shape of His own wise will and providence.’ Discerning the Voice of God, Priscilla Shirer, p. 170.

‘Look among the nations! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days – you would not believe if you were told.’ Habakkuk 1:5. 

While in France...

“Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy” Lev 19:1.

What do you think of when you hear the command from God to be holy? Honestly, my eyes sort of glaze over and I pass over the word. Telling me to be holy is like telling me to be French. I took French for 3 years in high school from an amazing teacher, but as hard as I tried to learn the language, the culture, and the history I knew I would never be French. I even traveled to France with my teacher and a group from school. I tried my best to ‘be French while in France' but miserably failed. The only way would be for me to have been born into that bloodline. So, the word holy has always seemed out of reach for me until this morning. I learned this morning that the Hebrew word for holy means to be ‘set apart.’ When we view it that way, the call is not to be perfect but to remain faithful to the path that God has set apart for each of us. “As Christ followers, it is not our own goodness or good deeds that make us holy, but rather the work of Christ on the cross” You Were Made for This Moment, Max Lucado, p. 9-10.

In light of this translation, how do we set ourselves apart and attain holiness? We accept and receive the truth that apart from Christ we can never achieve it on our own. We make the decision that we will accept Christ and His work on the cross for us, and receive His invitation to join in His bloodline. We strive to exemplify the character of Christ which is set apart from the culture of this world. Lastly, we recognize that our holiness was assigned and granted to us only through Christ’s sacrifice.

To be holy is to set our decisions and behavior apart from our culture when it contradicts God’s word. To be holy is to set our conversations apart from the foul language, gossiping words, and judgmental accusations when talking with others. To be holy is to set apart times on our busy schedule to be with God and in prayer to God. Holiness is our response to the Godliness of Christ Jesus who swept us into the family of God.

Once we became one in Christ, we became holy and set apart because of what He did, not anything we attained on our own.

The Mist From Within

“For the LORD God had not caused it to rain on the earth, and there was no man to till the ground; but a mist went up from the earth and watered the whole face of the ground. And the LORD God formed man...and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life...” Genesis 2:5b-7

The story of creation is no doubt at the top of my list of favorite Biblical accounts and every time I read it, I chisel out a new gem. At first glance, our passage above is nothing remarkable or earthshattering until the part about the Lord forming man. But a closer look reveals the faithfulness of our God and how He provides for everything He creates. The ground was created by God and began dusty and dry. It had no means to water itself and no one had been created to tend to its surface. But God already knew the provision the ground would temporarily need before rain was a resource and man was a curator. And so, God provided the moisture. The next creation was man who was void of breath and life. And so, God provided the hands to work the land. God didn’t realize after the fact that the ground would need watering. He created it with that knowledge because He already knew how to provide.

Like you I am sure there are things that dominate your prayers ...cries that impassion your pleas...fears of things not being provided or needs not being met. It is easy to obsess over things that might happen...scenarios that have not yet occurred...worst case predictions that are rooted in no facts. Whatever situation in which we find ourselves today, we aren’t left to our own solutions. God has created our story and is orchestrating every detail and provision we will need every step of the way.

For the unemployed person who is feeling disillusioned, God will provide the resources to meet your needs until He provides the perfect job. For the one whose heart is grieving, God will provide the mercy, comfort, and enduring grace to carry you through the days and nights. For the fearful heart of a situation you are facing, God will provide the answers needed for you to make the right decisions.

If God sent the mist from within the earth to water the ground, how much more has He already anticipated that will be needed for those whom He loves? He fully understands every need that we require in every situation and will always meet those needs. He has been trustworthy from the time of creation and will be faithful through eternity. 

The In Between

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book.” Psalm 139:13-16. “I came forth from the Father and have come into the world...I leave the world and go to the Father.” John 16:28

I love how the New Testament echoes so much from the Old Testament throughout Scripture. God was so faithful this morning to connect these beautiful spiritual dots as I arrived at my meditation with a heavy heart for one of my best friends. She and her family will celebrate the life of her dad today, and will walk out the reality of our passage this morning. It will be painful on this side of Heaven, but today we fix our eyes on the eternal truth of the joy of him returning Home.

Her dad was created and formed 82 years ago by the very hands of the One who entrusted him to this world. God saw his life rolled out in a beautiful manner before he ever took one breath or lived one day on this earth. Because of the sacrifice of Christ, her dad was given a way back to be with the Father who created him so long ago. Christ explained to his loved ones that He came forth from God into this world, and He would return to God to be with Him forever. But the explanation didn’t make the pain go away for those He would leave behind, but it did fulfil a beautiful promise that we, too, have for our lives.

We have been created with such amazing blessings over the course of our lives. We enjoy the love, laughter, and fellowship of those we call our own. From our parents we learn and grow...from our parents we watch and emulate...from our parents we fully know we are loved and cared for. And yet, what we know in part down here is so much less than what we fully gain in Heaven. In the words and thoughts of Jesus, my friend’s dad lived out his ordained days in faith and purpose. He came from the hands of God but has returned into the arms of God forever. The in-between life he lived so well with his precious family is what makes today so difficult. But just knowing that his Homegoing is a fulfillment of a promise that the Father whispered into his created son 82 years ago, might just make today a little bit easier for his family. I thank God for this man’s life, I thank God for the love he instilled in all, and I thank God for a way back Home with reunions abound.

When Completeness Comes

“For we know in part...but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Co 13:9-12

Every one of us have days that go down in our memory never to be forgotten and Monday was that day for me. One of my best friends from childhood was in the hospital with very little chance to survive the day. Bruce was scheduled for cataract surgery in the morning to which I was to drive him. Once surgery was over, I took him home and made my way to the hospital to be with Micki’s family and have a few hours by her side. The hours from morning to afternoon seemed to shrink and I felt the overwhelming toll on me, both physically and emotionally. By the end of the night, Bruce was already seeing better and Micki had been carried through the threshold of eternity. It was so much to process...so much to hold in my heart...so much heartache to contain.

But God is so mighty when we are so weak. The next morning Bruce had to be at the surgeon’s office for a recheck. I was so exhausted from the day before and was so relieved to hear the surgery was a success. But it wasn’t until I was driving us home that God transformed my heart through the words of my husband. Bruce began explaining to me that since he received the new lens in his right eye, he saw colors much differently than he previously had. He said when he covered his bad eye which will have a new lens in a few weeks, everything looked new... vibrant... beautiful ...crisp. But when he opened both eyes, things appeared muted and almost dingy. And when he covered his eye with the new lens, everything looked very dark with a yellow brownish tint. We talked about the way things will look when both eyes are done. And that is when God did what He lovingly always does for me...comforts and carries me. He whispered to me, ‘Micki has those new lenses now, Brenda. She is seeing things in ways she has never seen before. She is witnessing the beauty of eternity never imagined on earth. She sees Me face to face and knows Me fully like she never has. She is Home and she is now complete.’

You and I are mere reflections of who will be in Heaven. You and I see things on earth through a dark and muddled lens. You and I will one day see face to face Who we have only known in part. As we all walk towards our own completeness, I thank God that He gives us a glimpse of glory in which we will all be called one day. I thank God for Micki’s life...I thank God for my life-long friendship with her...and I thank God that He has made a way for each of us to experience eternity with both Him and our loved ones.

Seasons

“That they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” John 17:23

Seeing Beautiful Again by Lysa TerKeurst has probably been one of the most powerful devotionals I have ever read. The rawness of her emotions, the transparency of her suffering, and the pure invasion of her bold faith into the brokenness have left me speechless. There is not one page that she promises outcomes…there is not one chapter that wraps it all up with a pretty bow…but there is one message which you and I both need to hear. God adores us…God gave us His Son who died for us…God placed His Spirit within us giving us everything we need to survive every circumstance we face. Through these truths, we can find the love and unity of which Christ spoke with each other no matter our differences and experiences. ‘Seeing beautiful again has a lot less to do with the circumstances right in front of us and a lot more to do with using God’s truth to frame our perspective’ p. 251.

Even at the Last Supper, Jesus stayed engaged with friends and family although He knew His future held the brutality of the cross. ‘He was focused enough to stay very present in this moment instead of living in the dread of the future moments to come’ p. 252. So, will we? Can we be courageous enough to stay engaged when all we want to do is pull the covers over our head? Will our boldness recall the promises of God instead of the echoes of pain? Can we admit that although we rehearse the worst-case scenarios in our minds, we could instead believe in and experience the best comforts of God?

‘Hurt shapes us for better or worse. Jesus knew this. And He knew humans have such a propensity to turn healing into hating. Maybe that’s why He prayed for unity…With Jesus, unity and peace are possible…Seeing beautiful again is acknowledging what is. It’s accepting what isn’t. It’s offering to use what you learned through your hurt to ease someone else’s pain...It’s determining to look a little more like our Creator by taking what’s in front of us and creating something beautiful from it’ p. 254.

There is beauty everywhere no matter what we are experiencing because God is everywhere and in every season. I will allow the author of Ecclesiastes 3 to close out our devotion this morning.

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to 

      refrain from embracing,       

6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Emerging Blooms

“We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

Seeing Beautiful Again is one of the greatest devotionals I have ever read. It yields such authenticity, only to be paralleled by raw pain in the life of Lysa TerKeurst. She has shared the ugly, the beautiful, the messy, chaotice but healing journey of her shattered heart. It is the type of devotional that no matter what has broken your heart, you will find yourself in the middle of the same emotions of which she has so eloquently, yet painstakingly written.

She shared an impression that God gave her which will bless you and encourage you to push through the circumstances of heartbreak no matter how you arrived. I fully understand the power of impressions sent by God because so many of my ELM writings begin with an image that suddenly came to mind. She saw in her mind a beautiful paper-thin glass flower with a hand reaching out and wrapping itself around the glass applying pressure. As the hand closed around it, the flower popped and shattered. The next image was a shiny steel flower and as the hand closed around the flower, it held firm but created such pain for the hand. The last image was a flower made of white clay. As the hand closed around it, the clay squeezed through the fingers and molded into something different. ‘The hand folded and twisted and worked with the clay until suddenly an even more beautiful flower emerged’ p. 248.

Who of you feels folded and twisted this morning within the circumstances of your life? We all have the heartbreak, our secret suffering, our public journeys, and our unsettled emotions. But none of it is in vain because the Lord uses every single detail of every bit of pain to rework us in an even beautiful bloom. Our adversities will show us whether our faith is the paper-thin fragile flower that will shatter when life pressures us. Troubles will reveal the places our hearts have become hard as steel injuring those who reach out to help. But when we offer ourselves to God for healing and handling, we become more moldable… more teachable…more fertile for the Holy Spirit to do the work and emerge from the heartbreak to the new beginning.

‘Seeing beautiful again requires us to stay moldable by God. We don’t want to be too fragile or too rigid…He wants me [and you] like the clay, able to stand firm but be molded and reformed into whatever purpose He has…God isn’t ever going to forsake us, but He will go to great lengths to remake us’ p. 249.

Where Fear Can't Reach

 “I will say to the LORD, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:2

This week has been a tough week in the news. The images of the Afghan people running and clinging to an airplane trying to escape their horrible fate are in the forefront of my mind. These are people trying to take refuge from a destiny that is out of their control.

This morning in my devotions there was an explanation of the difference between a refuge and a fortress. A refuge is a quick place you duck into to find shelter. A fortress is a place built intentionally for the purposes of exceptional security. The Hebrew word for fortress is metsudah, which translates as being an inaccessible place. Lysa TerKeurst, author of Seeing Beautiful Again writes, ‘God is not just a quick refuge from the storms of life. He’s also the place where fear no longer has access to me. Fear can’t catch what it can no longer reach,’ p. 213.

In a season of COVID, death, national chaos, and fear we aren’t much different than those images on television clamoring for a better life…clinging hopelessly trying to return to normal. Aren’t we all refugees of some kind? Aren’t we all at some point willing to do desperate things just to find a way out of our circumstances? God promises to be the place into where we duck when the calamity is chaotic, but He offers more than just a quick and temporary rescue. He offers a fortress, both present and eternal, one where we are safe in spite of our circumstances. He offers the peace that only He can give when nothing seems peaceful. He offers a place where fear can’t invade and chaos can’t control. But we must be looking for that refuge and fortress if we are to access it. We must come near to God so He can provide all we need in both challenging and calm times. Fear cannot dominate when we are leaning into our devotion to God and living into our relationship with Him. We will not be perfect in attaining peace, but will show progress towards it in Christ.

‘I’m learning to make progress with my fear. I now know I can feel afraid, but I don’t have to live afraid of the future. I can be present in this day without letting fear of tomorrow steal my peace today. I can only attend to what is right in front of me. I must trust God to hold the future’ p. 245.

We must fully and confidently cling to an ‘In God We Trust’ life if we are to believe in a better tomorrow.

Garden of Grief

“The God of grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10

 

There is nothing messier than the process of grief.  I’ve walked through it and will certainly have to visit that garden again.  Many of you may be walking the stones of the garden of grief as you are reading this.  The word grief itself triggers images of brokenness, tears, isolation, and hopelessness in my mind.  Grief is so unsettling… interruptive… unpredictable… devastating.   When I facilitated groups for our church one of the most powerful thoughts that I have never forgotten is that ‘Grief never stays put.’  

 

Jesus tells us that in this world we will suffer just as He did, but our verse offers hope, healing, and promise through God’s grace.  Through the process of grief, we can’t help but to become stronger even if we don’t want to.  While grief is the price we pay for love, grief can be a bully flexing its muscle at the most vulnerable times.  But God made us to survive grief through His healing touch and the process we must go through with His help.  ‘Part of what makes healing so hard is the deep ache left behind after the trauma.  Loss envelops us with an aching grief that comes in unpredictable waves.  It’s hard to know if you’re getting better when a string of good days suddenly gives way to an unexpected emotional crash.   You feel angrier than ever over the unfairness of it all.’ Seeing Beautiful Again, Lysa TerKeurst, p. 239.

 

But like anything in life, process matters and to bristle against healing prolongs the inevitable of working through it and finding new life.  Finding new life after grief is not an abandonment of the old, rather faith that God has a new plan for your life.  All of the out-of-control emotions are not signs of weakness, but proof that healing is occurring.  ‘They’re evidence you aren’t dead inside.  There’s life under the surface, p. 240.   Then one day we suddenly realize the future feels a little more hopeful.  ‘Not because circumstances have changed but because we have embraced reality, released control, and found this healed version of ourselves…Our God is a God of restoration.  And all that aching within you is proof there’s a beautiful remaking in process.  Don’t give up.  God loves you.  You are not alone.  Healing is possible’ p. 240-241.  There will be blooms again in the garden of grief if we just keep moving.  

 

Not our Destiny

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.” Colossians 3:1

None of us have to look very far to find chaotic and heartbreaking circumstances in our world. Between hurricanes, wars, and diseases many of us are finding it challenging to attain lasting peace. As soon as we settle ourselves from one newscast, another one blasts into our homes with all of its chaos and threats of what might come to pass…what has possibly come to pass. It’s enough to scare us to death and it’s also the reason we must be intentional about what we feed our mind. It is so important to unplug from the news of the world and plug into the truth of the Word.

We need to remind ourselves that we are only passing through this life, certainly not depending on anything from it. Our circumstances can easily set the table for what we feed on during different seasons. Just like this is not our home, our seasons are not our entire story, rather chapters of God’s ongoing love and will for each of us. ‘Sometimes my soul feels stuck in my circumstances, but I know this world is not my home. Its brokenness and hurt are not my destiny. And this pain and heartbreak will not be the end of my story.’ Seeing Beautiful Again, Lysa TerKeurst, p. 228.

When we choose to focus on the home we have with Christ, the fears that rise within our soul loses its power. When we recall that Christ has overcome the most difficult season of all we can be confident that He will help us overcome ours. It is so tempting to replay past seasons in our heart resurrecting the wounds that God desires us to be healed from. We cannot keep taking the same spiritual ground from past battles; it is time to conquer new spiritual ground. It is time to lay those past wounds at God’s feet, turn our focus to the future, and receive the good God has for us. ‘There are so many moments when I forget what is ahead and dwell on what is already behind me. But when I fixate on my past, I place a stumbling block in the way of my future’ p. 230.

Focus matters because in a world that is so unstable, we must be intentional about what thoughts we feed. Fear was never meant to be our destiny, but faith is!

Driving our Desires

“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

A few days ago, as I was walking in a neighborhood, I began thinking about how long it has been since God promised to grant me one of my deepest desires - I am at 16 years and counting. Sixteen years is a long time to want and an eternity to wait. I began asking God why it was taking so long. I have complete belief that it is going to happen and I have surrendered any ideas as to how it will happen. I believe living in the when is tougher because the belief is so strong in the fulfillment of the promise. I love the way God deals with me and it happens frequently. He sends an image into my mind that connects my question to His answer. On this day the image that came to mind was a child driving a toy car into real traffic. I couldn’t wait to rest from my walk and google that image.

I know that God was showing me that while we desire the fruit of miracles and promises, sometimes we are just not ready for the fulfillment. Just as we would never give our 5-year-old the keys to our car, God is not going to give in to our desires before we have grown in spiritual maturity. In our verse we should notice that the desires of our heart are the overflow of our devotion to Him. In taking delight in God, our desires will ultimately shift to align to His desires for us which will always be better than what we can ever imagine.

God places desires in our hearts and we are encouraged to dream and hope for those desires. But our desires must hold a back seat to our devotion to the Lord. We must allow Him to determine the circumstances and the timing of everything that flows into our lives. Although I am 60 years old with wrinkles and puffy eyes, there are times that God still sees me with a pixie cut, baby teeth, and a toddler faith. So as I sit here working towards year 17, I will trust a Father who knows me best and desires for me to receive His best...He wants the same for you. 

When Humility Bows

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” James 4:10 

Honestly, this verse pushes up against my comfort and flesh every time I read it.  I don’t know anyone who really signs up fully for humility (well maybe my grandmother).  Sometimes humility means to me, ‘I lost!’ It boasts that my will was not done and now I must sit in the fragments of my failure.  But all of the words I just typed are proof that what James instructs is exactly what I need and what we all need.  Without humility we develop a sense of entitlement …without humility we nurse our hurts…without humility we cannot be lifted up by God.  

 

Humility is one of the greatest weapons against bitterness because ‘bitterness always intensifies our reactions, skew our perspective, and take us further away from peace.’ Seeing Beautiful Again, Lysa TerKeurst, p. 212.  I truly believe all we ultimately want is peace…peace in our decisions…peace in our relationships…peace in our souls.  So, if it takes us bowing down to the ultimate Peacemaker to be lifted up by Him, why don’t we?  We cannot be lifted up until we have truly bowed down.

 

‘Humanity rises up and demands that I be declared the right one.  Humility bows low and realizes that only God has what I really want.  Turning my heart to bitterness is me turning away from God.  So, I bow low, not because I want to.  Because I need to.’ p. 213. Humility realizes that we are all in our unique stages of our spiritual process and assigns grace.  

 

Peace is imparted when we empty ourselves of unsettled emotions.  Peace is the overflowing fruit from a heart of humility devoted to God.  What a beautiful and liberating prayer Lysa leaves us with this morning.  

 

‘God, I give this situation to You…I release my need for this to feel fair.  I release my need for You to declare me right and them wrong.  I want to embrace what You may be teaching me through this situation.  Give me Your peace in place of my emotions.  In Jesus’ name, amen.’ p. 215