Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Killing Me with Mercy

"And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, 'Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.' And he went out and wept bitterly." Luke 22: 61-62.

When I was in my early twenties, I made a decision that really cost me spiritually. It was a faith failure for sure and I am so grateful that God is a forgiving God. I remember revealing it to my mother who patiently and lovingly guided me through the processing of the consequences. I felt that once it was out in the open with her, I would feel much better. But every time I was in the presence of my dad, I felt a barrier although I knew that mother was leaving it up to me to tell him. I knew by the end of the week I was going to have to have that discussion. I couldn’t take the emotional distance my sin had placed between us. I saw him reading the paper on the couch in our living room and quietly sat down beside him. With his loving eyes and smile he welcomed me to join him. Just being in his presence feeling the shame and regret, I was convicted even more than I had imagined, and he didn’t even know what I had to say. As I began to share with him what I had been going through his eyes filled with tears, but his words were filled with sadness for me instead of condemnation and judgment. I remember thinking that anger would have been easier to receive than his mercy.

I heard a powerful song this morning that brought this painful snapshot back to memory. It was a snapshot from yesteryear but a powerful reminder that our Father is waiting for us to bring our failures and sins to Him. Just like Daddy, He is waiting on us not to condemn us but to help us move beyond our bad decisions through His mercy. The difference is that He already knows everything that is creating a barrier in our fellowship with Him. He knows the vows we have broken to Him…He knows the lies we have told…He sees the unforgiveness in our hearts although we have been forgiven daily by Him. I remember the freedom and love that began to flow again between myself and my dad once we had talked through everything. When we withhold unconfessed sins from God a barrier will develop in our fellowship and prayer time with Him. It takes weakness to sin, but it takes courage and humility to approach God in truth and honesty. I would much rather be a courageous sinner dependent on a forgiving God than a cowardly self-proclaimed saint with a broken fellowship with my Father. At 58 I’m still learning these things but God’s track record with me is perfect. Just like Daddy, God can be trusted with our recklessness and faithful in His forgiveness.

You must take 3 minutes and listen to this powerful song. It will be the biggest blessing of your day.

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