Grief Garments

"So Esther’s maids and eunuchs came and told her, and the queen was deeply distressed. Then she sent garments to clothe Mordecai and take his sackcloth away from him, but he would not accept them.” Esther 4:4

I have never noticed until this morning that Queen Esther didn’t know why her Uncle Mordecai was so grief-stricken when she was told he was at the King’s gate in sackcloth. Scripture recorded that he was wailing…weeping…devastated…had replaced his normal appearance with grief garments. This was the man who raised her and guided her right into the palace as the King’s choice for a wife. When she heard her uncle was so undone, instead of going out to comfort him she sent a change of clothes by her maid. She didn’t want the specifics of his suffering, she wanted him to just be the old Mordecai. Now before we judge her too harshly, we must hold up our own royal mirrors and ask ourselves some tough questions.

Are we so isolated in our self-made kingdoms that we offer very little to others in their suffering? Do we depend on other people to intervene, so we won’t have to? Do we offer the superficial clothing to cover them instead of the supernatural God to carry them? And what about poor Mordecai? He knew an emotional scam when he saw one when his niece sent the garments of dismissiveness.

Grief is not an emotion that can be rushed or hushed. It is a tree of suffering whose fruit continues to poison. It cannot be minimized, and certainly cannot be trivialized. ‘Offering a quick fix to a hurting person often can be more appealing than listening at length to the depth of his or her despair. Simply put, sometimes we’d simply rather fix it than hear it. Our human nature not only sets us up for selfishness but to feel uncomfortable and incompetent when faced with someone who needs more than we have.’ The Faithful, Beth Moore, p. 91. Most of the time our hurting friend or family member does not need our words, they need our presence. More times than not they need the Word of God spoken over them, not our words of empty platitudes to them.

When we know someone is hurting, the greatest gifts with which we can clothe them are compassion, sincerity and patience. We can understand that our walk with them during this time will not be a sprint but a slow healing stroll where time does not dictate the journey.

Calling on Heaven

“Living perpetually in the shadow of immanent catastrophe, the Jew was threatened not only physically but psychologically. Walking in the shadow of death was as perilous as dying.” N.T. Wright, Following Jesus, pp 66-68.

Years ago, Bruce told me something that his mother used to say when his dad would respond to frustration with something not going his way. Apparently, his response to a level 10 dilemma prompted a level 100 reaction. She would turn to him and ask: ‘What catastrophe has befallen our family now?’ All laughing aside it is true that over 98% of horrible things that could happen never do. Even though we have no idea if 'IT' will ever happen, we live like it did...living perpetually in the shadow of immanent catastrophe…walking in the shadow of death being as perilous as dying.

I was that mother who was the poster child for that statement when my daughter was deep in her drug use. Each morning I would awaken under the shadow of something ominous happening to her. I cannot tell you how many times I processed thoughts of her funeral. At that point in my life, I didn’t have an intimate relationship with God. Of course, I believed in Him and knew of Him, but didn’t know Him. During those 8 years of shadow walking I’m not sure if my mind ever allowed me to walk in the hope and confidence that God was always with her. My thoughts went from catastrophe to catastrophe instead of God’s comfort to peace. But when I began walking and living more deeply with Christ, I traded in my shadow of death and put on God’s garment of life…hope.

Many of us are living in the shadow of death because of fearful circumstances. We act like we are dying because a doctor told us the test said so…We act like our marriages are over when the partner is still with us…We act like our prodigals are lost forever when God has never left them. We live like we are broke when money is in the bank, forgetting that God provides. We act like we will never find love and yet we isolate ourselves. We are scared to death of everything associated with our fear, even when the threat has weakened. When we walk in the shadow of death, we might as well be dead!

I love the translation in The Message of Hebrews 2:14-15 which states: ‘By embracing death, taking it into himself, he destroyed the Devil’s hold on death and freed all who cower through life, scared to death of death.’ Now that is walking in the shadow of death which is not our legacy. Christ exemplified and sacrificed everything for us to take hold of courage and snuff out the shadow of darkness. We will be freed from living like a coward and responding to every mental and emotional response when we replace the questions in our mind with His promises in our hearts.

“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you, life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live…” De 30:19

He Will Do It Again!

“The strength of the laborers fails, since there is so much rubbish. We will never be able to rebuild the wall.” Nehemiah 4:10

When I see pictures of the devastation of Hurricane Michael and the debris left in its path I am so disheartened for these people. The huge storm crashed into their lives and the rebuilding of their homes must seem daunting and insurmountable. Where do they begin to rebuild a life that they have always known? What is worth keeping and what was ruined in the storm? Going through the rubbish left from the devastation is how they can take small steps to achieve a big goal. It is all about keeping their eyes on their future recovery, not on their present devastation.

I’m wondering this morning how many of you are sifting through the rubbish of a devastating storm that hit your life? Do you feel like things will never be the same and that your life will never be rebuilt into a strong and happy future? When storms hit, and they always do, the only way to walk through the emotions is to hand them over to Jesus. We were never meant to keep returning to the place the storm hit, rather clean up the effects of the storm. We were never meant to hang onto rubbish that God wishes us to remove. We were never meant to be victims of our circumstances, rather conquerors over our battles. All of this can only be done by keeping our eyes on the prize…a life rebuilt on wisdom, hope and faith that God can and will restore all things. Going through the rubbish left behind bridges the former and the latter…the past and the future…the heartbreak and the joy. But the most dangerous thing that will threaten our recovery is to linger on that bridge.

The greatest rubbish in our devastation lies on the floor of our minds. When we continue to go through the same rubbish…thinking the same negative thoughts…resurrecting a storm that has been dissipated... this creates a barrier between being stuck and moving into our new destiny. God has a plan in the storms just as He does in the calm. He wants to move from the rubbish to the clean-up, so the rebuilding can once again move forward. His heart is motivated by a love we cannot even fathom, coupled with power that can and will accomplish His plan for each of us. Nehemiah calms the fears of the people with 5 anchoring words, ‘Our God will fight for us!’ (v.20)

What does that promise mean, to you and to me? It means that there is work on the horizon! It means that the frightened parents can have confidence that God is with their wayward child! It means that marriages will be healed, and wombs will be opened! It means that we don’t have to respond to our enemies because God justify the wrong does to us! The list goes on and on if we really believe. Do the work of healing…sift through the rubbish…throw it out…embrace the rebuilding of your life. God has done it once in your life I’m sure, and He will do it again!

“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, and may your entire spirit, soul, and body be kept…The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” 2 Thessalonians 5:23-24

When Her 'What If' Became Her 'I Do'

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear…” 1 John 4:18

Today is a special day for our family. It is the first anniversary of when our precious mother married our incredible Ben. It is much more though than the day they began their life together. It represents a heart that turned her ‘What If’ into her ‘I Do.’ You see, it seems like yesterday we were sitting in the doctor’s office awaiting the news of our greatest fear…Daddy’s cancer. They journeyed through the four years with complete faith, hope and love. Like Jesus, they knelt in the ‘garden’ together and prayed for the cup to pass. I’m sure Mother laid in bed at night with a host of ‘what if’s’ swirling in her head and pressing on her heart. Mother’s worst ‘what if’ came to pass and Daddy was peacefully ushered to Heaven 8 years ago. God laid down the pen on the story of Daddy’s life, so He could go and welcome him at the gate.

Mother took God at His Word and allowed Him to carry her…nurture her…to show her that her pain and joy could indeed coexist in the heart. Her grateful heart has been an amazing companion through this journey. She walked out her ‘what if’ with inspiring faith, incredible determination and quiet confidence in God’s promises. After her what if she said ‘I do’ to God… "I do believe that I will see Don again one day…I do believe you can heal my broken heart… I do believe that your will and your way is motivated by your love."

Seven years later God gave her a chance to say ‘I do’ again. The union of these two amazing people is evidence that even if we must face our worst ‘what if’ God will turn it to blessings. Don’t allow your what if…your greatest fear…to block your future story. Your ‘I do’ just might be a new narrative in a new story that God is writing for you. Allow perfect love to drive out your ‘what if.’

Surrounded by Armies

“When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. "Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?" the servant asked. ‘Do not be afraid,’ Elisha answered, ‘for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.’ Then Elisha prayed, ‘O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see.’ And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw that the hills were full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” 2 Kings 6:15-17

I absolutely LOVE this story from 2 Kings. Who on earth says that the Old Testament is outdated and has no relevancy in our lives? I can’t tell you the number of times I arose from sleep to face the day surrounded by tough circumstances. It felt like there was no way out, but God faithfully revealed His battle plan day by day. With every surrounding army of adversity that seemed inescapable God triumphed over it. One season I surrounded myself with such secret debt and couldn’t find a way out until God opened my eyes and showed me the way. Another season I was surrounded by the failing health of my sweet grandmother who was my spiritual mentor. At the same time, we were dealing with the terminal cancer of my father, the cruel disease of Alzheimer’s with my father-in-law and finally the terminal illness of my sister. It was a fiery and fierce battle but looking back I know that God and His army were surrounding those circumstances that surrounded me. I can say without hesitation that as our family also cried, ‘Oh no, my Lord! What shall we do?’ He was there asking us to not be afraid, bringing us through each battle as He carried our sick loved ones to complete wholeness and perfection in heaven.

What set of circumstances are surrounding you that feels intimidating and threatening? Is it your financial situation that looms on the hill like an army getting ready to attack? Is it the threat that your marriage just might not make it through the battle? Are your health issues mounting up exhausting and discouraging you? There are armies on every hill, and threats in every season. But God controls the battles and outnumbers the enemy. Sometimes God will open our eyes allowing us to see His hand but other times we are like the servant who must rely on others to intercede for us. As we are surrounded by our challenging circumstances God is surrounding us with His army...love…comfort…encouragement…His people…His outcome. I’m so thankful He equips us with so much in every adversity and He gives us His Word to see His heart and hand throughout time.

And all of God's people said 'Amen.'

A Wall with a View

“…they hung its doors with its bolts and bars and repaired a thousand cubits of the wall.” Nehemiah 3:14.

Nehemiah 3 is all about the different repairs that the people of God were making on the wall surrounding the city that had been burned, attacked and dismantled. Different families had settled around the different broken parts of the wall. Each extended family group would attend to their part of the wall that needed rebuilding. The work was certainly varied but one thing was constant…all the gates had to be refashioned and the doors re-hung with bolts and bars. The wall surrounding the gate would have had to have been repaired for the gates to work. ‘Just as the Jews were called to guard their city, so we are called to guard our hearts.’ Kelly Minter – The Faithful, p. 56.

I love the question Kelly posed in The Faithful this morning. She asked in building the wall of our lives as Christians, which gates in our hearts and minds need reinforcing? I immediately thought of a few gates which I needed to pound bolts and bars in to keep me protected. I need the gate in place and locked that prevents me from pursuing the approval of others. I need constant rehinging of the gate that is a deterrent from judging others. Sometimes I pull at the gate of wishing I had something someone else has.

What good is our wall without the protection of the gates? What good is our faith when we allow all the gates to swing wide open allowing everything in? The wall of our mind will be compromised by the choices we make…watching programs/movies that litter our minds… thinking jealous thoughts about others…self-talk that tears us down. The wall of our hearts will be compromised by the emotions we allow to enter…bitterness…anger…pride. Our gates must be in constant repair using the bolts of the Word and the pegs of prayer. The wall is very important, but the gates are essential in keeping out the things that compromise our lives. When our gates are hung with the spiritual things we can take our place on the wall and enjoy the view of the horizon.

"...seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." Co 3:1-2

Seeing our Own Sin

“Then I said to them, ‘You see the trouble we are in. Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned down. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, so that we will no longer be a disgrace.’” Nehemiah 2:17

Nehemiah was a Jew who had landed a great job in the Citadel as the king’s cupbearer. The exile was over, and the remnants of the Jewish people returned home to Jerusalem which had been attacked. News reached Nehemiah that the city lie in waste, the gates had burned to the ground and the wall surrounding the city had been torn down. Nehemiah’s heart broke to hear the condition of his beloved home and people. He eventually approached the king asking for favor and time off to go and rebuild his former home which was granted. I find it so tender that while Nehemiah was living high and prosperous in the home of the king, his heart was broken over those fellow believers who were living among the ruins. He longed for them to experience the city of God the way they had in the past. It didn’t matter how well he was living, his heart belonged to his people, and the town in which they had previously worshipped.

I began thinking about our world today, and I can feel this same sadness for the people of God. I look at myself and see that my prayers for fellow believers must start with my own repentance of things in my heart that are not of God. Only after I see my own sins can I lift prayers for the condition of the hearts of those around me. Seeing my own sin and asking for repentence is like picking up that first building block to do my part in rebuilding the people of God. Like Nehemiah, we witness our fellow believers living among the ruins. We see them salvaging the debris of broken-down walls …selfishness …jealousy...hearts of stone. We recognize that some have entered the burned-out gates of idleness…bitterness…complacency. The people of his time had lost sight of what their lives could have been like and had accepted living on the fringes. I'm wondering if we are any different in 2018.

We have the same thing they had back then that can prompt any wall to be rebuilt…re-hang any gate that has been torn down…we have ‘the hand of God which is good upon us.’ Nehemiah 2:18. We have all we need to rebuild and restore the people of God through the power of God. But will we lay down our own interests and agendas and look to the needs of others? Will we repent of our hearts of stone, and pick up a heart of compassion? Will we look around our communities and our city and do something…anything…to help another rebuild their lives and restore their fellowship with God? God is ready to use a willing heart to move those stones and set those gates back in place. It is our choice whether we will arise and rebuild. But if we don’t we miss out on the joy and blessings that can be ours when we come together for one purpose serving one God.

“The God of heaven Himself will prosper us; therefore we His servants will arise and build.” Nehemiah 2:20.

What Lies in Darkness

“He changes the times and seasons; He removes kings and establishes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals the deep and hidden things; He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him.” Daniel 2:21-22.

I may have already told you this story but it is a cute one worth repeating. Many years ago, I served as a 6th grade chaperone on a school field trip to the beach with a group of children who had never been there. When the group was ready to head home I asked this little girl if she had enjoyed the beach and she turned to me and said, ‘Yes, Mrs. Emmons, but I know this beach wasn't this big when I first got here.’ This sweet little girl didn’t understand the ebb and flow of the ocean.

Sometimes we too are perplexed and confused when the low tides of life change the landscape of our horizon. Just like the water, life drains out of our hearts and leave our riverbeds exposed revealing what lies in darkness below the surface. God already knows what is in our heart but arranges circumstances so that He can expose and reveal less than lovely attitudes and behaviors. 

I am always amazed at low tide to see the muddy and littered surface of the riverbed. There have been seasons in my life when God exposed the deep and hidden parts of my heart, and it wasn’t much prettier than this picture at low tide. But I am grateful for every low tide allowed by God because of what it revealed that needed to be removed. There is still lots of work to be done on my heart’s riverbed, but I love the rhythm of God’s flow in my life of calm and chaos. There is always something to learn with Him when the waters recede.

When God sends the high tide back into our lives, the blessings rush in filling our hearts once again with peace, love and joy. The work has been done, the flow has shifted, and Light dwells once again. Don’t hate the low tides of your life for they are part of the necessary spiritual ebb and flow that God arranges to replace dark things with beauty.

Coming Out of the Shadows

“So he said to Him, ‘O my Lord, how can I save…?  Indeed…I am the least…’” Judges 6:15

Gideon continued to behave as a cowardly victim when God was trying to show him the potential he possessed in his current set of circumstances.  Gideon had been attacked in the past, so he was living his life in the shadows expecting another attack.  I can only imagine the self-talk in his head as he recounted the last time his enemy pursued him.  He found himself contradicting God in a war of identity.  The Lord reminded Him that he was not alone, but Gideon lived like he was.  The Lord told him how strong he really was, but Gideon believed he was the sum of his behavior.  The Lord called him to more than shadow living while Gideon wanted nothing more but to live in the shadows. 

Sometimes living in the shadows can feel safer than walking in the light.  Living in the shadows is exactly the address the enemy wants us to call home.  But God always penetrates the dark, and lovingly tugs us out of the shadow into His marvelous light.  Just like Gideon, we ask God ‘how can we save…when we are the least?’  How can the woman save the marriage when her mind keeps telling her she is the least of the women out there?  How can the man save his career when he feels that he is the least considered for the job?  How can the young mom save her wayward child when she feels the least equipped among the other mothers?  How can the person sitting in the chemo chair feel saved when his body is the least healthy it’s ever been?

The only way to save is by allowing God to pull us from those deceitful shadows and taking God at His word in each promise.  It is to no one’s benefit for us to fight God on who we think we are.  God determined our spiritual identity with the first breath into our lungs.  God’s power will partner with us and equip us to ‘save’ whatever in our lives is needing rescued.  ‘Gideon was more than the sum of his cowardly parts.  He was more than his circumstances.  He was a valiant warrior touched by an encounter with God Himself.  And you, my friend, are too.  Even if you are hiding in the winepress, running from the enemy and more humiliated than ever before.  Today, you’re getting tugged out of the shadows.  Now lift up your head and act like it.’ Priscilla Shirer, The Faithful, p. 35.

Hurts So Good

“And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” Luke 22:44

A while back we were spending time with a friend who was describing her workout routine. She told us that she knew the exact point up to which she would stop working out to avoid sweating. We still laugh about that today but in reality, I sometimes wonder if I do the same thing with my faith. In Philippians 2:12 we are instructed to ‘work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.’ A huge component of salvation is our faith which we are to continuously work on…exercise…develop. So, do we do the same thing as my friend did in her work out? Do we know the exact point of pursuing deeper faith where it doesn’t hurt or inconvenience us?

We need to have faith that sweats just like Christ had that night in the garden. Scripture records that His anguish was so intense that His sweat came out of his pores as blood. Jesus didn’t have this convenient or painless faith, and neither will we. What kind of sweat does our faith produce? Do we sing praises right up to the point until God seems to allow hardship to enter our lives? Do we serve others right up to the point of it disrupting our calendars? Do we tithe right up to the point of it becoming financially uncomfortable? Do we keep His commands until it doesn't support a decision? We want a testimony of our own without the test…working out right up to the point of sweat.

What choices would we make that would significantly work out our salvation? What would it look like for our faith to sweat? It looks like encouraging others when our hearts are depleted. It looks like serving someone less fortunate when no one is looking. It means getting in the Word and allowing it to get in us. It means exuding God’s joy even when we feel demolished. Finally, it means lifting others up when we are falling down. The only way we can produce sweat in our faith workout is by depending on the same Source Jesus depended on…His Father. God will supply every thing needed in our faith workout, and the sweat of our choices will be life-giving to those around us. It will be a workout that hurts so good!

The Joy of Autumn

“Then I will give you rain in due season, and the land shall yield her increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit.” Leviticus 26:4

I must tell you that I have been as excited about this morning as I was on Christmas morning as a child. The reason is simple…I knew I would finally require a sweater and blanket on my porch while worshipping and meditating on God’s Word. Immediately the word ‘season’ came to mind as I wrapped my chilled hands around my warm coffee mug. I am sitting here wrapped in my favorite blanket-like sweater, with my blanket spread over my legs and feeling the chilled breeze on my face. It has been a brutal Summer and Fall with little difference in temps until this morning. Walking under the suffocating humidity and temperatures has made it seem like my season would never end. But this morning I sit reminded of God’s faithfulness that hot seasons do indeed end, and the refreshment and excitement of a new season begins. This morning even the sun looked to have needed a blanket as it peeked out for the day.

I am so grateful that God changes the seasons in our lives also. There have been seasons that I couldn’t wait to get out of, ones that were brutal in their circumstances. Seasons where I have grieved the dark nights of loss…Winter. Seasons where I have seen sparse blooms where I have planted spiritual things…Spring. Seasons where I had to work harder, breathe deeper and hydrate more…Summer. But now as I enter one of my most beloved seasons…Autumn…I face it with joy in the crispness of the new day. I face it with the hope of abundance in the yield of God, and the gratitude of His faithfulness in the fruit of our labor together.

Priscilla Shirer, one of the authors of The Faithful encouraged me to try to see the spiritual principles in the day-to-day as we move through our seasons. Our days might seem mundane, monotonous, and repeats of the day before. The point is to identify both the blessings and the principles in the ordinary tasks of each day, each week and each season. My spiritual principals that God is working to develop in me is dedication, patience and complete dependency. Through dedication I know that I have no devotionals if I don’t give Him my time. Through patience I know I will have no miracle if I don’t keep my hands off His plan. Through complete dependence there will be no morning message without the Messenger to reveal it to me. We cannot despise the mundane of the day or the seasons, for the work they are accomplishing is great. May we all both anticipate and celebrate that a new season is coming!

Faceless Faith

“For anyone who hears the word but does not carry it out is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror, and after observing himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the one who looks intently into the perfect law of freedom, and continues to do so – not being a forgetful hearer, but an effective doer – he will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:23-25

I’m constantly amazed how easily I can be distracted. I can’t tell you how many times a day I look at my watch only to look away and realize I still don’t know the time. The reason for this is that I am not focusing on retaining the information. I wear my watch for information but sometimes the distractions around me take my mind hostage. Watches can be helpful for navigating us through our day keeping us mindful of obligations and guiding us to the next event. But watches can also be nothing more than a shiny trinket… an adornment we wear as we walk out our day…a watch that might as well be faceless.

Sometimes our faith is the same way. We wear our faith as beautiful trinkets but never intently focus on the guidance it can provide. We talk about being still and yet we continuously keep moving at a dizzying pace. We ask God where He is when we are the ones who have been missing. We sing the anthems of God out of one side of our mouths but gossip and slander someone out of the other side. We have different spiritual watches to wear based upon the details of our circumstances or with whom we are going to visit. We possess a Bible but never open it up to receive the life-giving words of God. We might as well wear faceless watches…walking around with faceless faith.

We don’t have to live without the knowledge we need to guide us through our seasons. God’s word has given each of us everything required to not just live, but to live victoriously and abundantly on this earth. The secret is being intentional and focused on what God is telling us through prayer, reading His Word and having an intimate relationship with Him. It takes focus, dedication and obedience to have faith with a face. We can’t successfully live out this life we have been given without being active doers of the Word. We will be blessed in everything we do when we can tell time…faith time.

Under the Oak Tree

“Gideon said to Him, ‘O my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all of this happened to us? And where are all His miracles…?’ Then the LORD turned to him and said, ‘Have I not sent you?’ So he said to Him, ‘O my Lord, how can I save…?’ And the LORD said to him, ‘Surely I will be with you, and you shall defeat…’” Judges 6:13-16

I can’t even begin to imagine this scene and interaction between Gideon and the appearance of a visitor. We must adjust our lens to focus in on what was happening in this interaction. Gideon was fearfully hiding doing the job he was called to do every day. In his mundane job responsibilities, he suddenly became aware that someone was with him under the oak tree. We have no evidence that Gideon knew this visitor. Then the man spoke and told him that the LORD was with him. Our story has just gotten more interesting. We have a man who was hiding out alone doing his day to day job awaiting the enemy to attack. We have another person who suddenly appeared sitting under the oak tree with a proclamation that the LORD hadn’t left him. Then a frustrated and scared Gideon snapped back with a retort that you and I have probably also said in the midst of our circumstances…Why has all of this happened to us and where is God?

That is the age-old question that mankind has been asking since the beginning of time. I find it so interesting that the messenger first revealed Himself to Gideon as an average person (‘O my lord’), but then the LORD revealed Himself in absolute certainty of who He was (‘O my Lord’). We don’t have to imagine how his heart must have sunk after his frustrated response of God’s neglect of his situation.

So many times, we also fail to recognize God in our circumstances. We become angry, frustrated and bitter that God hasn’t saved us from our circumstances... unemployment separation…loneliness…childlessness. We tell others that God is with them, but secretly we voice the same frustrations that Gideon voiced so many years ago in that lonely place. The truth of yesterday is still the truth of today in each person’s life and in their situation. God IS with us in the messy heartbreaks of life, and He does come with a plan to use us as instruments in the chaos. If we take the time to be still and to look for Him, He will reveal Himself to us, encourage us and remind us that He is still there. Only in His presence can we truly have confidence in defeating our present circumstances. There is not one moment that He leaves our side. He kneels beside us as we pray for relief…He places His compassion in those around us to encourage us in our pain…He sees the outcome and knows how to lead us down the narrow path of victory. He has sent each of us to witness through our suffering and testify to His grace. So, don’t overlook the man under the oak tree…it just might be the Creator Himself.

Leaving the Winepress

“The angel of the LORD came and sat down under the oak where…Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites.  The LORD's angel appeared to him there and said, ‘The LORD is with you, brave and mighty man!’" Judges 6:11-12

I love this scene in the Biblical account of Gideon, who was a timid and scared man expecting the worst.  His region had been invaded and attacked many times by the Midianites and he knew it was just a matter of time before they wreaked havoc again.  His goal was to go unnoticed…undetected…undercover so he did his mundane work in a winepress which was in a shadowy part of a rock hidden among the oaks.  God knew right where to find this terrified man and appeared to him identifying Gideon to be the opposite of what his actions displayed.  God called him a brave and mighty man when in reality, he stood before God a frightened and timid individual. 

I’m wondering this morning who is like Gideon hiding in the winepress frightened of the future, just trying to hide among the rock?  I’m wondering about the person who has seen the face of the same enemy multiple times awaiting the next assault.  Perhaps the enemy is the self-talk they say to themselves.  Who has a heart wanting to go unnoticed, undetected and isolated?  If it is you, then be prepared to come face to face with the Angel of the Lord.  If it is you, then understand that your crisis cannot take you to a place where God’s presence and grace can’t find you.  And when He meets you at that place, He will describe you in words you feel unworthy to receive.  He will call you forgiving…He will call you courageous…He will call you purposeful...He will call you ultimately victorious.  Because just like Gideon, God calls us according to the potential He sees in us.  One of my greatest and happiest pursuits was being a mother.  So, when my children were grown and on their own I began to feel useless.  I began to stay at home more, being more isolated with feelings of increasing uselessness .  But, when God met me in my winepress He called me a writer when I saw myself as an out of work mom.  He took the testimonies of the adversities in my life and birthed the calling He had upon my life.  “There is always calling out of chaos and commissioning out of calamity.  And our crisis is sometimes exactly what we need to be prepared and at the right place and right time to do what God has called us to do.” The Faithful – Gideon, Priscilla Shirer, video highlight.

God is in the place of your toughest challenge and your most painful circumstances.  He is calling you to see yourself through His eyes…brave…equipped…victorious.  So come out of the winepress and take hold of the future God has for your life.

A Child at Home

“While I am here I will be a child at home with my God; the whole world shall be his house to me; and when I ascend into the upper chamber, I shall not change my company, nor even change the house; I shall only go to dwell in the upper story of the house of the Lord forever.” C. H. Spurgeon

This morning in my time with the Lord He allowed such a precious mental visit to my childhood and my wonderful West Manor home in Lancaster.  I can get lost in my memories of that time… that place…that home…it’s representation…it’s complete joy.  It was a beautiful home, one of love, laughter, faith and family not to mention it’s architectural beauty.  It was a two-story Georgian home with four white columns that had an upper balcony as if the home was wearing a beautiful pendant.  It was a joy to have my friends over as we roamed the 5 ½ acres and played in my upstairs bedroom with a white canopy poster bed adorned with wispy pink bedding.  At the end of the day when I ascended those stairs and walked into my bedroom, there was a complete sense of safety, contention and completeness.  Some nights one of my sisters would want to sleep with me and other nights I would ask them.  Sometimes I would hear a tap on the door and it was either Mother or Daddy coming to sit with me and talk.  It was my happy place and a place where I have gone in my mind many times over the course of my life.  When I read Spurgeon’s quote this morning about dying and going to heaven being like going upstairs I immediately thought of my bedroom.  Life below in the main house was good with all the excitement and laughter of our family but going upstairs to my room was heaven because it was all mine.  It was fashioned and decorated just for me and no else had to live there. 

This is how I picture heaven when Jesus spoke in John 14:1-2.  I can hear Him encouraging us that we don’t have to be troubled when life is heart-breaking.  He is already upstairs preparing our rooms for us.  And when it is our day to ascend upstairs to our perfectly fashioned and designed room He would have thought of everything.  It will be a beautiful mansion with innumerable bedrooms where we will move about and throughtout freely living and loving with our loved ones.  I can already hear the tap on the door as Daddy wishes to come and sit with me.  I can already hear Beth trying to talk me in to letting her sleep with me promising and pleading she won’t sleepwalk again.  Those are my limited childlike dreams of what heaven will be like.  But for now, I am just downstairs on this earth trying to get along with the world’s family and roaming around the acres with my friends and intimate family.  For now, I am a child at home with God seeing His veiled glory, but someday I will see Him face to face in the city I will call home… Heaven.

Pocketful of Stones

“The teachers of the law…brought in a woman caught… ‘Now what do you say?’  But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger…” John 8:5b

I am sure the story of Jesus and the adulterous woman is one you have heard at some point in your life.  If not, it is certainly worth reading and meditating upon its principle.  The teachers of the Jewish law had brought a woman accused of adultery before Jesus, demanding that He condemn her.  The punishment for this crime was stoning to death.  Jesus, in His compassion and wisdom encouraged the teachers to throw the first stone if they were sinless.  One by one they dropped their stone and walked away until only Jesus and the woman remained.  He told her that just as no one condemned her, neither did He.  He instructed her to go and leave her life of sin.  Jesus states that He didn’t come to the world to condemn but rather to save. 

Yesterday, I was one of the people throwing a stone at another woman.  I was walking out of Costco and I noticed that a woman emptied her cart into the back of her car, pushed the cart behind the car next to her and was ready to pull out.  I not only glanced at the cart once but took a second look over my shoulder to ensure she saw my displeasure.  At that point, she rolled her window down and in a pleading tone explained that the person in the car waiting on her spot offered to take her cart.  I was completely humbled and disgusted with myself for casting that stone.  When I got in my car I was immediately convicted by the Holy Spirit.  As my spirit of condemnation turned into conviction I felt empty and embarrassed just like those teachers must have felt and they dropped their stone and walked away. 

We live in an accusing culture, one that writes a license for each one of us to judge and condemn others.  If Jesus didn’t come to condemn, why on earth do we feel we can?  Just as Jesus wrote in the dust on the ground a few thousand years ago, the sting of casting that stone was written on my heart.  The actions of others are between them and God.  Every one of us are sinners, and we will be until we trade in this life for the gift of Heaven.  We must empty our pockets of stones and look to our own tendencies of sin before we point out others.  I am thankful for the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and I am so grateful for the gift of grace and forgiveness.  May we all have a pocketful of Christ stones to share rather than those to throw.

Following Glory

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” Matthew 4:19

Last night Bruce and I went to our grandson Carson’s football game to watch them advance in the playoffs. It was a great game and a beautiful night for the win that they obtained. I love watching those young boys working together and pursuing a common goal. At one point the quarterback hurled the football down the field and a runner took off. He ran vigorously toward the endzone, and when he turned around he discovered the ball was coming right to him. With his arms open wide and his eyes keenly focused he received the catch and made the score. He chased after the touchdown before he even knew the throw was coming to him. Had he lagged behind he would never have been in position to be victorious.

This morning in my study time I discovered the Hebrew translation for ‘follow’ is to pursue, to chase after and to attend closely. ‘Follow me’ were the words Jesus said upon each introduction to his disciples. He wasn’t asking them to lag behind in a slow pace or a mediocre fashion. He was exhorting them to pursue Him…to chase after him…to attend closely to His words and actions. Jesus understood that the only way His disciples could be ready to draw people to God was for them to first be drawn to Him. The same is no different today as Jesus calls us to follow Him…to chase after the truths of God…to attend to His people closely. He never calls us to lag behind Him, but rather to chase after Him as He pursues good on our behalf and the behalf of others.

Once we have chased after His plans and discovered His ways we can run vigorously down the field with confidence. We can know that when He throws His blessings towards us we are in position to receive them. And when we receive His goodness we pass on the benefit to the rest of the team…those who need to know Jesus.

Stalked by Goodness and Grace

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” Psalm 23:6

This beautiful line from King David’s pen and heart doesn’t seem all that powerful of a statement, but upon further context it is quite the revelation.  David was most likely an old man looking back over his life.  As he recalled his earlier life, lots of guilt and shame could have been up front and center.  He had an affair that led to the birth of his child, only for the child to die.  He sent that woman’s husband into battle on the front line and basically signed his death warrant.  He could have been consumed with guilt and shame from that alone.  He had continuously been chased and banished from his own life and throne.  Bitterness and anger could have followed him for the rest of his life.  But what does David state that he is confident will follow him every day that he had remaining on earth?  He emphatically stated that goodness and mercy from God would be his rear guard.  And not just some of the days, but he had no doubt…all the days…every single one that God would give to him.

Can we have that same confidence that at the end of our life we can look back and sing the melodies of how God shared all His goodness with us?  Will our testimonies be drenched with details of how God has mercifully chosen to forget our sins upon repentance?  God wants us to always recognize how faithful He has been to us through it all, and how He applied His mercy to our mistakes.  He wants us to look back over our time and see what He has done for us, not what has been done to us.  He wants to show us that we are victors in our circumstances instead of victims.  I believe that David’s proclamation of being followed by God’s goodness and mercy is his commitment that he will look for the goodness of God in every day.  So why wouldn’t we do the same thing? 

Psalm 23 – The Shepherd with Me by Jennifer Rothschild sums up the heart of David that we should also strive to have.  ‘When David looked back at his life, he didn’t see his sin; he saw God’s mercy.  When he looked behind him, he didn’t see his shame – he saw God’s goodness.  Where there was guilt, there is now only goodness.  Where there were mistakes there is now only mercy.’ P. 176

Judge My Case!

“My soul still remembers and sinks within me. This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness…It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD…O LORD, you have seen how I have been wronged: Judge my case.” Lamentations 3:20-59.

I don’t know about you but there was a season a while back that produced such suffering and pain that I try to avoid revisiting the circumstances. It was a time when the only thing that would bring comfort to the pain was God Himself. I felt consumed by the grief of the situation and lacked control in any of the details. This passage could have been me and it might be you. I love this entire chapter of Lamentations because it reminds me that since it made it into the canon of Scripture that God fully understands how easy it is to focus on pain. The Book of Lamentations is a collection of ordinary people who have been done wrong…betrayed…abandoned. It is a blueprint for how to transform a bitter or consumed mind into a better and consecrated position in God. What is the secret to this transformation? Taking our hurtful remembrance captive and replacing it with the beautiful reminders of God’s character and promises.

For the parents whose child has turned away…remember God’s faithfulness to comfort you in fresh ways every morning. To the woman who has been betrayed…recall that God will judge your case and fight for your honor. To the lonely person…remind your heart that God has a compassionate plan for your life. For the grieving heart…believe there still goodness and joy up ahead as we wait upon the Lord for His healing. It is clear, that hope emerges when consuming fear and bitterness subside. God is the only answer to all our challenges, and He will not be careless with our hearts or our lives. In our wait, we will recall all of His triumphs on our behalf.

“The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” Lamentations 3:25

All In!

“So the people stood afar off, but Moses drew near the thick darkness where God was.” Exodus 20:21

One morning during the time of my sister’s terminal illness, my phone rang and on the other end was Beth’s weak little voice. She had endured a grueling chemo session the day before and had finally awakened for the day. On the other end of the phone was a plea for companionship. I offered to come and get her and bring her to my house for the day. As I walked in the door I heard moving around upstairs, so I sat down at their kitchen island. Beth had never been in a hurry to do anything, even before her cancer, so I tried giving her both space and time. Even as I type the word time I realize that I had never viewed time as an enemy until then. Every action, every conversation, every plan was framed by the sand spilling grain by grain in our hourglass as time selfishly moved on. I looked around her home as if seeing it for the first time. My eyes fell upon the family portrait that hung perfectly on the wall. Her touches of decorating were evident throughout the family room, representing places they had been and things they had done as a family. Pictures of our family displayed on their piano. My eyes fell upon their bookshelf filled with medical books and nursing resources, books Beth must have thumbed through a million times as a nurse. As I went to the fridge to grab a water bottle, I was looking at all of Sydney’s artwork when my eyes caught a calendar hanging on the side. I glanced at the month and saw where her handwriting had recorded future events…future events…my heart sunk. Would she feel like chaperoning that field trip in the fall? Would she even be here at Sydney’s Christmas break to pick up the fundraiser at the school? Precious appointments…reasons to push through and fight! But among those hopeful appointments, chemo and doctor appointments took front stage on this calendar. I felt myself fighting the tears and the gloomy disposition and realized I needed to refocus. Where was she? What was she doing? How could I offer help without threatening her independence?

Finally, I heard her coming down the steps and she rounded the corner. With life in her eyes and a million dollar smile she walked up with a grateful heart and a tight embrace. How did I allow myself to sink so low as she remained so high in hope and courage? It was a question I would examine continuously throughout this journey. We emptied her nursing tote and filled it with her new arsenal… crackers to settle her stomach, her medication log to know the very moment she could have another pain pill, telephone numbers of doctors, nurses and pharmacies. And of course, the dreaded cell phone…the new appendage that every member of our family attached to ourselves since she was diagnosed. None of us went anywhere without it as if it were a part of our body…it was…it was our lifeline. We packed her up and drove to my home for the day. As I got her settled in the lazy boy in front of the television I felt my stomach growling so I left the room and went into the kitchen. She had been sick most of the morning due to the chemo, so I certainly didn’t want to eat in front of her. I glanced in the den and saw that her eyes were closed and said a little prayer that God would settle on her with comfort, peace and rest. I quietly and slowly opened the pantry door and retrieved a handful of Cheez-Its, our family’s favorite snack. As I was placing the box back on the shelf I heard this little voice straining, ‘What are you up to out there?’ Busted, I sheepishly turned to her with orange crumbs on my mouth and a guilty smile and held the box out to her. She nodded her head and motioned with her little hand for me to join her. We sat there in the room that day and had a talk I will never forget.

There was something on her heart and mind that she needed to say so I settled in for a conversation that echoes in my mind to this day. Over the course of her life, Beth had varied ideas about different philosophies. She always believed in God as her primary religion but entertained different influences, hobbies in part but also in curiosity. She shared about different times in her life when would shift her focus back to God. She stated that every time she would engage with God something bad seemed to happen, so she would abandon the focus. She told me a story about a woman at her previous place of employment, an assisted living facility. This messenger from God gave Beth a book that really took root in her heart. As she focused solely on God and worked in this Bible study, her old fears began rising and the devil pushed the play button again. He reminded her of her horrible track record when she engaged with God. He always convinced her that when she puts her heart out there to God, He is careless with it…those horrible lies from a horrible enemy. With tear-filled eyes she explained to me that this time she had decided to shut down the lies and press through her fears. She began pursuing and loving God and feeling His love returned to her. Desired relationships in her life were emerging and her faith was growing strong. She was extremely active in her church and everyone there loved her gentle ways and willing spirit. God was working on her from the inside out for sure. Then, she turned and looked at me and said, ‘And now this…the worse that could happen has…worse than I had ever imagined.’ I was at a loss of words that morning and had no answer to a question I know will never be answered on earth. But she made peace with her circumstances and was ALL IN regardless of the outcome! While I will never know that answer, I do know our God and He loves fully, rewards greatly and blesses beyond understanding. I believe that He had watched her fear of getting close to Him for years and saw her trade fear for faith and fellowship. He watched her stand up to evil as she removed the power of fear over her life. He called her into the thick darkness like Moses and she ran in towards Him. He witnessed that fighting spirit where she allowed His power to stand up to the powerlessness of Satan…and for her stand the reward would be greater than anything this old earth could give. Only heaven could match the rewards He was ready to lavish upon her. “Therefore I am going to allure her: I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards and make the Valley of Baca [Weeping] a door of hope.” Hosea 2:14:15

There is something very precious and tender about the thought of descending into the thick darkness to commune with God. It is a private and unique place where God will whisper and unveil truths for our lives. If we try to avoid or busy ourselves during our pain and suffering, we may miss the blessings that we can only obtain through our Valley of Weeping. Whatever we may lose in the darkness Christ promises to restore if we trust Him. What suffering depletes…God replenishes; whatever darkness steals…God replaces; whatever is destroyed … God rebuilds; whatever dreams seem dead…God resurrects.

We never spoke of this again, but I believe it was her statement of faith, that at some point in our lives when our fear intersects our faith, faith must be chosen even if it comes with a sacrifice …and boy did it for her…but she whispered, ‘Give me Jesus.’